Just Get Over It? (page 3)

Amazing

Hi Sens,

"Its Over, You Have Left, Get Over it...your obsessed with this, who cares, just get over it before it drives you mad...its really pathetic"

I have heard this from many people who have never been JWs. Until they walk the walk, and talk the talk, they cannot understand all that we ex-JWs have to unravel, revisit, peel away, learn, grow, then repeat this process many times.

It is different for each person, differnt according to personality, circumstances, and the depth of loss, the depth of belief, the depth of betrayal, time involved in the religion, and family still in the organization. And some, even though out many years, enjoy hanging around to be supportive of others just leaving the organization. Soime stay involved with ex-JW activities in hopes of finding someone they knew inside the religion, or to support some mission or goal.

Take your time ... and when the time is right, you will know, and you will decide if it is right for you to change your routine to do something else.

The JW religion takes a serious toll on people because it deals with every aspect of their lives, whetheer it is to further their education, who they might have married, what jobs they choose, as well as their time choices, such as Saturdays at stranger's doors instead of watching cartoons with their children, or a day at the beach with the family.

There is a lot to unload for many ex-JWs. While the comments of your non-JW friend are understandable and well intentioned, it is you that is stuck dealing wtih what you have been through and how you sort through your life ... that said, however, it is also good to build new friends that were never JWs ... and take time to do things not related to the JW religion so that your life is filled with new positive memories.

Jim W.

Prisca

Lady Lee, thanks for posting Jan's information. She was a wealth of not just information, but compassion and understanding. It's so sad that she's no longer with us, but I'm glad to know that her info is still online. At the time of her death, we were worried that all that information on cults she had gathered would have been lost forever.

RIP Jan

Sens - when you start learning this information about the WTS, there is a tendency to overload yourself on information. I remember when I first recieved the COC book, I just couldn't put it down. No matter how tired or busy I was, I had to read it. Plus I was on sites like this one, trying to adjust my mind around all that I had been learning.

My advice would be to deal with one subject at a time, to allow your mind and emotions to absorb what you have read. I know how overpowering all this can feel. But as the information that Lady Lee posted says, it takes time to heal from life as a JW. Allow yourself time to grow and adjust to non-JW life.

sens

Thanks for all the encouragment! It means alot !

I felt like I was hit across the chest with an aluminum bat, knocked to the ground, and then had my teeth kicked in. It’s only been a few months for me, so I’m still reeling a bit from it all.

Winston, Yer I agree thats how i still feel , but then it hasnt been long for me either.

The word for me was obsessed...and not by the devil. I researched for hours everyday for several months on everything imaginable until I had acumulated a mountain of shit on the organization...then I started to realize it didn't matter how much more shit I added to the pile..it was still shit.

Sometimes I dig out my shit and look through it just to confirm it again..and yep....it's still shit.

Shotgun...to first comment, yer id say im obsessed with this as well...

to the 2nd comment above...lmfao

Thanks Again (( LadyLee )) for all the info

3 Sens 4

JT

My boyfriend says the exact same thing. i think it's hard for people to understand how deeply it can affect you if theyve never been a part of something like this. please dont think your feelings about this are not legitimate. they are. you are justified in needing time to heal.

sens

this post above sums it up nicely RARELY will you meet a nonjw who is able to start to grasp what it must be like

if you every get the chance to talk to a person who was in the concentration camps or who was in Rwanda and saw the killing

we have no idea of what it was like, we can't even start to comprehend what it was like

well in the same manner nonjw have no idea and we can't get mad at them THEY SIMPLY HAVE NO REF POINT TO WORK WITH

in thier church if they left for the most part thier life didn't change, but for us, we lost every single A"FRIENDSHIP" we had built in the 10, 20, 30+ yr we were in wt

so that is why this board is so important

i would offer one sugggestion, i see you are new

but please AND I BEG OF YOU go off line and contact some of the folks here- as you have seen there are many women here who know exactly what you are talking about

please contact them so that you all can call each other

trust me on this one THE FEEDBACK that you will get from dialoggin OFFLINE will be well worth it

Valis

You know, its like I told my mom one time...She asked me why I had such animosity towards JWland and why I would send her info about JWs that was not all rosey...I told her that I had been subjected to JWland for 17 years and I figure I ought to be able to give back as good as I got. You need time to digest a lot of the stuff you read and yes it will shock you and freak you out and make you want to express your opinion about it to others WHEN the topic comes up. My parents would love for me to just "get over it"...it might make it easier to try and convert my children that way.....ain't gonna happen I garontee!

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

sens

JT ...Thanks for the reply, other peoples opinions mean alot to me atm.

Nobody who isnt or hasnt been a jw can truly understand...

I also agree that yeah, I have been spending sooooooooooo much time online reading more info than my brain can handle atm.

Thanks again

3 Sens 4

Steve Lowry

I don't think anyone can truly appreciate what the transition of going from JW to XJW is completely like except for another XJW. So I can see how someone who hasn't been a JW could come away from talking with a former JW thinking, "Hey, just get over it!" Even my wife who was never been a JW, and who has learned (and who has been willing to learn I might add) more about the JW life than most outside the group, still confesses she still doesn’t "get it". You have to have been one to really know what it is all about. Even being raised in it myself, I still can't completely articulate the total experience. Try not to expect too much empathy from those who haven't walked through "JW" fire, as you have.

Coming here and sharing your thoughts with others that also share the same experiences as you, will not only be a great comfort but will also be very cathartic for you.

Steve . . .

sens

Even my wife who was never been a JW, and who has learned (and who has been willing to learn I might add) more about the JW life than most outside the group, still confesses she still doesn’t "get it".

Steve, yer I agree that even people you are close 2 who havent been in the org dont get it...Its hard to explain but it just isnt that simple to 'leave behind' so to speak

3 Sens 4

Steve Lowry

Hey Sens,

I agree, it ain't a simple thing to 'leave behind'. It has changed my life (the twenty some years I was a JW). But ya know what? I wouldn't be the person I am today without that experience. It is part of my overall make-up. Hey, I would have rather not gone through all the crap I have had to go through because of this religion. But it’s made me stronger and wiser than if I hadn't. When I get frustrated sometimes about it (and I do), I try to think of it as just another of life’s experiences. And that seems to work for me.

But it will always be a part of me.

Steve

xenawarrior

Nobody who isnt or hasnt been a jw can truly understand...

Sens and others:

Please don't think that "nobody" can. Those who want to understand WILL. Please don't discount the ability of others to understand based on the insensitivity of a few.

XW

Just Get Over It?

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