I came here three years ago for support and to make friends (page 8)

compound complex

Hi Kate:

I read every post on this thread and have nothing to add (because I couldn't). I've been here ten years and have learned so much, most importantly that we are so small and insignificant but can be kind and give the benefit of the doubt. Not saying we don't matter; we all do.

I deal with confusion and frustration and all the rest by writing prose poetry. By now, it's certainly clear to me that not everyone relates. Or maybe they do but have no response. This one got no attention when posted a few weeks ago, but maybe you'll relate to it. I wish you peace and love.

Your new friend,

CoCo

I have locked myself away, away from friends and all distraction, those that impinge upon my goal.

My goal? To make contact with that undefined force that wells up from within but has no tangible existence, no palpable aspect to it. Nonetheless, I know it is there. It niggles at me during all my anxious waking hours; it skewers me without mercy during ever fitful sleep.

Why do I bother when life could be so much simpler when I turn off the brain and numb my heart to love and life's other beautiful sensations? I am driven to discover what learning and romance and religion have failed to afford me. I must find what lies hidden within my troubled frame and pull it up and out into the sun of day.

I have vowed to search at all cost to myself, in the life now and whatever life may come . . .

wannaexit

But knowing who is and isn't your friend is something that exJWs need to learn when they exit. Some have got terrible social skills and get hurt. I am hurt now. It took me three years to realise who really is a friend and who is not. Hopefully this will help newly awakened ones trying to start a new life and build a circle of friends.

Dear Kate: Remember that you don't need others to be happy. True, a good friend can enhance your life but your expressions reveal an emotional dependency on others. Sorry you are hurt! Look for happiness within yourself and not by what others can bring to you.

Daniel1555

Hi Kate

I know your threads and posts from the beginning.

I comment on some of your threads and I know your story and also listened to your jc meeting.

I like very much how you welcome new posters and I also share some of your views.

Just a little advice I can give:

If somebody comments critically you can think of the points made if they were honest and genuine. By the way that's what you made on this thread by the things Simon said. It can be very hard to analize and even accept these things but it can be also good.

Don't take it too seriously. If someone dislikes you or speaks against you; ignore it. Don't be upset and offended here in the forum (in real life it might be a different story). Especially if you post controversial topics like if there is a god or creator or if evolution is guided by a higher power you know that there will be many posters who are full blown atheists and speak against any idea or belief indicating that there might be a god. But that's ok; it's a matter of personal faith (by the way i personally believe too that god or a higher power is behind evolution and the universe).

And one important thing. I know of your family tragedy and I feel your pain being separate of your children or your son. I myself feel this pain as I see my son every second weekend.

I like it that your son wants you in his life. Children need both parents. Even if he choses to be with you, he also needs some time with his dad, even though he will tell him jw things. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions about religion. I think he will love you even more, if he lives with you and if you speak positively about his dad. If he hurt you very much it would be good if you can forgive him and that your son knows you forgave him. If that's hard you could view him as a victim of the jw indoctrination.

And one important advice:

DON'T POST PICTURES OF YOUR SON IN THE FORUM.

He has the right to decide if his picture is posted in social networks especially in a forum like this. I understand that you were so happy at that moment. But it could backlash especially if your dad knows that you post his picture in a an "apostate" forum.

I wish you from my heart all the best in your life and that the relationship between you and your children will always be full of love.

You are a good and courageous example of someone who had a lot of struggles to leave this cult.

I love that you try your best to help others who are also in this difficult situation.

Bonsai

Hi Kate. I'll be your Huckleberry. It's hard to be friends with anyone when you live like 3,000 miles from anyone. For the most part, I enjoy your posts and many of your threads. You are a valuable member of this community!

KateWild

wannaexit, Daniel, bonsai, coco

Thanks all of you for your support and advice all very different but I take it all on board. I feel much better today, after expressing my feelings and confronting things I feel this is now in the past, and consider it part of my deprogramming from my cult personality.

Simon, thanks for the edit.

sillygirlforgotpassword

Hey Kate

Im sure you're a lovely person and looking for friends is important, but like someone pointed out in this thread u need to find yourself before you can find your friends.

It sounds lame I'm sure but I've been helped to connect more with myself through yoga and meditation. Highly recommend eckhart tolle's "power of now".

peace outxx

I came here three years ago for support and to make friends