When the dam wall busts.

stuckinarut2

Some (especially witnesses) may wonder what brings us to places like this?

Why is it that we have chosen to step away from the society that we once viewed as "the truth", despite the consequences for doing so?

Well for any visitors to this site, or any other "apostate" sites, the answer is simple really:

Once we learned the multitude of things about the origins of the society, it's practices, teachings and manipulative behaviour, the dam wall just burst open.

Such bursting of our faith can not be just ignored.

We are just normal people who put our whole lives in the hands of the society, and thought they were gods representatives on earth.

Yet, rather that allowing us to calmly discuss any disquieting thoughts, we were told to ignore anything of concern. We were told that it must be us that are wrong-it can never be the society that is wrong after all. There is no opportunity for rational discussion. No room for any opposing views. No, simply accept, or as is now so openly promoted: "Listen, Obey and be Blessed"

joe134cd

There has to be some external factor that sets things going in the first place. For me it was a question that I was unable to find an answer for in the societies publications despite extensive research. Out of shear frustration I punched the question into Google and with in a click of the mouse up came jwfacts and 6 months later I walked out of the Hall for good.

eyeuse2badub

I'd venture to say that we are all here because:

"We would rather have questions that can't be answered-- than answers that can't be questioned!"

just saying!

eyeuse2badub

xjwsrock

I think there comes a point after many years of experience and observation when our pattern recognition kicks in and is undeniable. Our minds can only dismiss so much. At some point our survival instincts override the indoctrination.

For instance, there are only so many bad elders that can be written off as exceptions. There are only so many doctrinal changes that can be explained away as "new light". There is only so many times a person can handle false prophecy and have it excused as "maintaining urgency". There are only so many scandals that can be brushed under the rug. There are only so many meetings and conventions you can attend out of duty knowing the only way you can get through them is to daydream or get an assignment that takes you away from your seat.

Even with intentional suppression, you can only ignore these things so long. At some point your subconscious, driven by survival instincts and pure logic, spits out a warning message you can't ignore.

The proverbial damn breaks.

You suspect something is amiss and no "wait on Jehovah" or "maybe Jehovah is allowing this for a reason" is going to work this time. The logical part of your mind is winning market share and you realize that Jehovah isn't scared of critics or at least shouldn't be. Even Jesus apparently spent the day with the greatest apostate of all time, Satan himself. He spoke to him. He wasn't afraid. Surely our "truth" can stand up to some online research, for crying out loud.

After about a month of omg's and wtf's, you know in your heart of hearts, it's over. Decades of belief gone in a few weeks of listening to the counter-arguments.

Again, with the logical part of your mind gaining strength, you know that decades of "spiritual instruction" shouldn't fall apart in a matter of days.

Most of us do at least some verification of what we have learned to make sure we aren't being misled. Once we are satisfied that it is all true, we then know exactly why the Watchtower is so against looking at apostate materials. It is in their best interests, not ours.

IOW.....we were scammed.

kairos

The first leak in my dam was elders turning a blind eye to local criminal activity within my congregation.

I pressed the issue. With all of the elders and two COs.
They did nothing. I cornered an elder, my brother in law, and he told me, and I quote: "as a body of elders, we have decided to ignore this"...
We were alone in the car while in service when this conversation happened, waiting for the other two to return from their call.

It took everything I had to contain myself. I just wanted to be taken home at that very instant.

I buried it for just a little while. Quit the meetings for a few months.
I attended the meeting where the new Silver bible was released. I couldn't last the entire meeting. I stood in the back until it was over.

That was the last time I ever attended a meeting of JWs.

Only after then did I investigate TTATT.
I was already done, and what I would soon learn only sealed it for me.
There will never be any 'returning to jehovah'.
I've even gone so far as to accept, even if they are right, I want nothing to do with them.

---

Later I would discover the elders were never my friends and my brother in law would be my betrayer.

By this all will know that YOU are my disciples, if YOU have love among yourselves
john 13:35

steve2

Xjwsrock, one of the most succinct and compelling answers I have ever seen. I'm saving it.

stillin

I prayed my heart out to avoid this collapse of my faith. I gave Jehovah a couple of years to hear my prayer ( a worthy prayer, in accord with His will,) but there was nothing. Not a word. I realized that I am not any sort of "expert" when it comes to knowing WTH God is thinking or doing. The religion that I gave my best years and lived with all of my strength was a contrivance; something just thrown together and designed to keep a person off-balance enough so that they keep coming back.

Deleteandrestart

I was on a job on my own and in a house on my own, there were some periods that I could not work but had to wait for delivery, so I amused myself by looking up YouTube videos on my phone, naturally I punched in truth related information, Peter Gregorson came up , curious I listened to his animated speech , next I came across a narrated reading of crisis of conscience, I played it over and over, virtually the whole series over a few days, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, formerly I'd been led to understand that Raymond Franz had simply gone mad and turned his back on the truth and would poison your mind , little prepared me for the humble reasoning that came through in those readings, from that moment on I was a changed person, more than half a lifetime of effort and enslavment fell to the floor in that very building, as I drove away I left my faith in that building, I don't know what prompted me to listen that day for the first time because normally I'd pass over anything like that , from there I went into research mode to make sure of what I had found out was actually really true . I just don't know what made me want to look that day , maybe it was my time to find out and either reject or accept but I could not deny what I had learned and now cannot understand why others can't see it , but they have to see it for themselves, it seems impossible to wake them up .

All or nothing

My husband was an elder and I wanted to research what the elder book said but not look at "his" copy so I googled the title of the elder book, sheparding the flock or whatever it's called and the Google search brought me here...my eyes were opened...that was 4 years ago...I also prayed and prayed for Jehovah to show me the way just like so many of you have mentioned in your comments, nothing at all from him. It is so amazing to me that most of my red flags thru the years are mentioned by other posters here, making me realize I wasn't the only one who had these red flags. I have been helped so much by so many of you, thank you😊

stuckinarut2

Wow! Great comments. Thanks for sharing!

When the dam wall busts.

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