A mistake we did ...

by Absolutesbeginners 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Absolutesbeginners
    Absolutesbeginners

    Hello Guys ! Hello Girls !

    I ve been reading you all many times , and from many years ....

    I am sure my english is getting better and better because of you ! Thanks !


    i am from France, no sorry , from "small Brittany " ...so what ? you cant find it on the map !! its not my fault ..

    Anyway ...

    born in "da troof" 37 years ago .... went in the "swimming pool" at 16 ...( my mother pushed me ...what an excuse ....and what a fool i was ....) ( i wanted to have long hair and play music but ....i was going door to door every saturdays..." the end is clooose ....soooo close"

    maybe i was afraid ??)

    i was , little mosquito ... )

    Left for good and for EVER i was 20 y o .( 1999 )

    I awoke on my own at the time. without "internet" or anything else . just thought to myself " prefer to be dead now, than to live" forever" with "them" and their "pet lion" playing ball on Billions dead bodies) ( btw still think exactly the same 17 years laters ...)

    My mother at the time was as you say a " die hard" ( and she is still ...even more ...yes ...its possible !!) and my father was an elder . but a " edge elder"at the end i guess .and he left for good 2 years after me . i showed him the way !! )

    Of course they separated after , ( why do i say " of course " ? ...)

    One year After my mother married a young "brother", 22 years younger . still with .( good choice . he is going to pay for her retirement !!

    )Afterwards my father started to drink , take drugs and ....no i am joking ....he is ok he works hard , rides horses ( his owns ) and have a few girlfriends ....he is ok

    And me here...

    Writing my boring story ....

    The Jw stuff still stick me like a glue under my shoes . i am 37 today .

    My father told me not far ago " turn the page , it was a mistake we did "

    But .... THATS ALL !!

    Crazy fu.....g Bo....ks I ve spend my youth waiting for "mass destruction" !!

    And now i just need to " turn the f....ing page !! "

    You think its possible ??

    Me , i was and i am still quite lucky ...Everything i wanted, i got it .( with my own money , no help whatsoever from outside )

    I travelled ,sailed away,crossed Atlantic on wonderfull boats , met a lot of people , learned to speak English , made quite good money, and above all met this girl .....

    But ,

    there is always a " but "

    I drink .

    A lot .

    ( to drink drunk drunken )

    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    I have met a few psychiatrist to try .

    Try to be happy without a " bottle of ...Chateaux Margault "

    Try to enjoy

    Try to be ME .

    Try speack

    Try to love water FOREVER

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    I still love my parents .of course .i am not in a cult !!!.maybe i am a normal man ?

    Even my mother i ve seen 2 times in 10 years ( one time in a funeral , and one time by "mistake" in the street ... she still wait for a mass destruction i guess ? )

    Her eyes werent happy for sure , i know, she is my mother .

    Putain !! its killing me

    ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Yesterday born, tomorrow dead .

    I am just an Absolute beginner and i love you guys !

    able to play with your your own death and mistakes ...

    Your are the real ones . My soul-mates from the other side of the Atlantic ?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_cHvtPB2dY

    Take care guys ! She is falling !!

    AB.

  • baker
    baker
    Your story is too good, stuck like glue under your shoe, maybe more like Dog puu. Love David bowie.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I48hr8HhDv0
  • talesin
    talesin

    Your english communication is great! Like you, I was 'born in' the JW. It is hard to be 'cast out' at 20, and I understand. You are still young, though, and have the time to create a new life for yourself.

    Are you in Europe, or another part of the world? Let us know; we have members worldwide, and there will be suggestions and ways that others will know, that can help you to have a better life. xo tal

  • clarity
    clarity

    Absolutesbegginer.......... your words !

    "My father told me not far ago " turn the page , it was a mistake we did "

    I made that mistake also ... most on here did.

    The spine of that book that holds the page that we turn ... is mind numbingly powerful.

    The deceit & outright lies almost killed us.

    The page is turned but the melody lingers on.

    Your drink & my holding everyone at arms length, is part of that melody.

    I think I am just going to burn the damn book!

    Hope we hear more from you.

    clarity

  • kairos
    kairos

    I'm afraid that pretending or blocking out our time as a JW is impossible.

    Try not to beat yourself up over the mental abuse you were subjected to.
    It hurts to feel that we were not able to protect ourselves from an organization that promised us so much, but turned out to be in it for the money. Ouch!

    Welcome to the forum and feel free to vent openly.

  • scary21
    scary21

    Welcome, Sounds like you've tried to live life to the fullest. I was never baptized but because I thought I would die when Armageddon came, I had to have BIG fun NOW. Back in the day a lot of it involved drinking, sailing, and BOWIE! I have a feeling you will be just fine Sherry

  • millie210
    millie210

    Love your zest for life!

    Thanks for writing.

    J'aime la vie~

  • coalize
    coalize

    Cool, un français! :)

    So funny, your story is so close of mine!

    And we're born the same year, and faded the sama year too :)

    Putain ça fait du bien! :)

  • faithnomore
    faithnomore

    This is what helps me...

    As a born in I could have been born into Scientology, the Moonies, Mormon, Jim Jones, the Family etc. Each having some major issues in my opinion.

    I try to look at the positive things I learned from being a jw. I was taught to love people which carried over nicely when I faded to accepting all people. I was taught to put others first which transitioned nicely into trying to be kind and not always react. I was taught to turn away from wrath which helps me today not to be too angry with family, friends or my circumstances. There are more but I think you get the jest of how I look at being raised a jw and how I cope today.

  • freddo
    freddo

    Salud. Mat an traoù.

    Is your mother's husband a witness? The guy 22 years younger than her? Are you officially DF'd or DA'd?

    Welcome to the forum.

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