Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Volunteering with your kids is fantastic! Also, let them help you as much as possible with donating to charitable organizations. Even young ones can help gather goods/clothes from the house and put it in bags and take it to a shelter or drop off point. Explain how this direct type of help really matters.

    I also found that exploiting conscience matter issues or issues where my wife wasn't 100% on sure footing (dub wise) - like going to the YMCA, limited after school sports or county sponsored classes and activities, The dubs aren't against all of those things but they are against the time spent with non-witnesses - which is exactly what you need for your kids. Interaction with regular kids.

  • Andy Dufresne
    Andy Dufresne
    Being in the same position myself, some of the comments here have been very helpful and reassuring. Thank you everyone.

    I always feel a failure when my bright 9 y.o. spouts any JW cr4p - but it's very difficult balancing being forthright against the defensive reaction the cult personality (even in a 9 y.o.!) kicks up.
  • Giordano
    Giordano

    My dad died when I was 13. We had birthdays and Christmas growing up. After he passed my Mom became a very active JW. I was dragged into it and eventually got baptized and pioneered where the need was great.

    But I never forgot my father and our time spent together. As I reached my young 20's I was out of the religion so was my wife and we never looked back.

    Stay healthy and well, celebrate their birthday's and if you want to Celebrate Christmas do so.

    Romans 14:5-6English Standard Version (ESV)

    5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God.

    Definitly join the Y........ big definite on non JW friendships, group sports, Sundays with the kids......... she get's them for the midweek meeting but not the Sunday meeting there's nothing there for children it's too boring.

  • GrreatTeacher
    GrreatTeacher

    Berrygerry, thanks for the link.

    Drawing things out to their logical conclusion is often an eye-opening exercise in truth discernment.

  • Daniel1555
    Daniel1555

    I can recommend you to read the book "Raising Freethinkers - A practical guide for parenting beyond belief."

    It has a lot of good ideas how to strengthen the children's critical thinking skills.

    I think you can only succeed if you with a lot of love teach them how to think critically for themselves. Don't talk negatively about the faith of your wife as it will be counterproductive.

    Show them that it is normal that people have different feelings about religion or believe different things. The importance is not in what you believe but how you act.

    They will see that you have a different belief than your mum. They will ask questions. Tell them how you feel about this or that bit never in a downgrading way.

    I am father of a 3.5 year old boy who is heavily indoctrinated by his jw mum. Lately he said "in a church are bad people."

    I try my best in counteracting this indoctrination and teach him critical thinking but also tolerance and respect for different views.

    I will make it clear for him, that he can change his religion a thousand times in his life; I will always love him and be there for him.

    I wish you all the best. It is not easy.

  • rathernotsay
    rathernotsay

    Been thinking about this 66% Stat, she has 2 brothers and 2 sisters and out of the 50 of them only her and one sister are haha. That means that I'll have 1 jw kid. Should've stopped at 2, my eldest is remarkably like me and completly obsessed with space ( thank you thunderbirds ) so it won't be him. My middle child is real naughty, likes to be the clown and make people laugh, bit of a smart arse so it won't be him. That means it'll be my daughter which is probably more likely purely based on gender as she'll be more like mum.

    It's intresting that a few of you have mentioned about how they may try stop the children from being around other non jw kids by discouraging sports etc. I live in new zealand where children are heavily encouraged to play sports, by both parents and schools. I haven't really had this problem. My wife's been quite ok with the sports thing, my eldest joined a football club at 3 and was in a NZ junior programme at 4. He's not showing a lot of interest this year though, if he doesn't want to play I won't force him to. Mr 3 has shown immense promise with his football ability so I'll probably sign him up this year too. Even her family have been supportive, helping with the expenses, taking them if we can't etc.

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