Over-protective parent?

by GrownMidget 61 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Viviane
    Viviane
    For goodness sakes you guys are over sensitized and a bit OTT

    Anecdote != data.

    Sure, sometimes it works out. But a "maybe 16" year old (meaning possibly and probably 15 year old) being courted by a 21 year old is not the same as a 20 year old dating a 26 year old. There is an emotional maturity difference, a life experience difference that makes it, to me, very weird that someone in their 20s, old enough to drink, drive, have a job, live on their own, would be intellectually and sexually interested in a sophomore in high school

  • Simon
    Simon

    I don't think you can generalize, just deal in probabilities.

    The wider the age gap, the more likely something isn't right or healthy up to the point where you get a 70 year old guy and a 19 year old girl. There's more likely something wrong somewhere but even then, who's to judge - it may be love.

    Physical age isn't necessarily the same as emotional age - it's possible that the 17 year old in a 17/22 relationship is the more mature, 'older and wiser' one.

  • Viviane
    Viviane
    Physical age isn't necessarily the same as emotional age - it's possible that the 17 year old in a 17/22 relationship is the more mature, 'older and wiser' one.

    Agreed, but this is example is a "maybe 16 year old". There is a world of difference between 15 and 17, 18 and 20, etc.

  • cognac
    cognac
    who's to judge

    I'll judge Simon. Really???

    We are talking about a girl who's practically a kid. She's 16, maybe.... Her brain isn't fully developed and its against the law... Ughhhhh....

  • cognac
    cognac

    Simon - Do you understand that we could be talking about child molestation issues here? This can't be ok with ANYONE EVER....

    I get they might not be physical until she's 18.. However; its playing with fire...

    Anything under 18 is against the law in the US. Stay the hell away from it. Period...

  • cognac
    cognac
    Viv - I could not agree with you more...
  • DogGone
    DogGone

    If you are 20 or 21 it is illegal to have relations with someone under 18 in the US? That is surprising. I was under the impression age laws were state by state and that some have age proximity exceptions, like we do in Canada.

    At any rate, this doesn't speak to the OP's range of 15 to 21. In Canada the age is 16 nationally with a 5 year close in age exception, so it is near the border depending on the exact ages.

    I've always thought the half your age plus 7 rule captures the limits of creepiness fairly well. 14<>14, 18<>16, 20<>17, 24<>19, 46<>30 My brother in law, however, is in his mid 20's and has a long term relationship with a gent approaching 60. Seems like a good relationship, so there are exceptions, just not on the low end.

  • cognac
    cognac
    Dog - Yes, if you are 17 and he/she is 18 there could be charges. Usually, nobody presses charges, but, it's possible and has happened...
  • DogGone
    DogGone
    Wow, it is terrible to think of an 18 year old getting convicted and having to register as a sex offender for a summer tryst with a 17 year old.
  • GrownMidget
    GrownMidget
    Despite what US law says, it's not valid worldwide therefore these arguments about law itself are ridiculous trying to oppose on everybody since not everybody lives there, you know. Even on moral grounds many seem to have their own inner moral code they go by (ahem, look at religion - all having their own) and oh my, if someone crosses this fine line; all hell breaks loose. But since we talk about law now, I'll say how things go here before I give this topic a final rest.

    Here one police officer keeps his own blog and he is also actively pursuing bullies and other illegal activities on Facebook during office hours. He has written that from legal perspective 16 year old girl can have sex (yes sex, not just dating) with 50 year old man. Socially acceptable or not, it's still perfectly legal if nothing illegal is going on such as rape, using enticement tactics or others. There has also been discussions of lowering the 16 year limit to 15 here.

    This topic has long ago went off the rails from what it was written. I leave the rest of your legal and personal level moral arguments for you to discuss between one another. In general, I recommend relaxing.

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