Well, I'm about to do it.....

razorMind

Inform my JW parents of my official stance on "the path they tried to teach us when we were young girls." <---(oft-used phrase to try to "guilt" us into coming back as JW's)

It'll be a first and a definite shocker coming from the likes of ME...I usually avoid all religious discussion/confrontation on the few occasions I've visited them. I've written a nice, pointed letter--I left out the UN, cult mention, and the pedophile issues. I emphasized the Prodigal Son story (my sister is DF'd) and the blood issue. I emphasized my personal relationship with God, my prayers to Him to find the truth (I don't belong to any church), and basically.....compassion and humanity for others who share this planet with us.

Most pointedly, I detailed examples of "worldly" folk like my inlaws whose daughter made the same mistakes my DF'd sister made and whose churches rallied around all the families affected and showered them with love and forgiveness. I contrasted this with the whole "Judicial Committee" process and subsequent shunning my sis went through.

It's all written very respectfully, yet firmly. The days of feeling guilty because of always being fed the "martyr" bit are OVER. They can take it for what it is, or cut off all contact with me forever. My dad may try this trick to try to remind me of who's always wielded control. My answer to that is--BR ING. IT. ON.

I've already accepted in my heart that my family will probably never again spend time together under the same roof. If they choose to shun me forever, well, that is THEIR CHOICE. They are certainly "giving an effective witness" to my inlaws, that's for sure.

I wait with bated breath for the consequences.....

Odrade

Congrats to you on taking the reins. I wrote a similar letter this week, and am in the process of getting it on the computer. I feel in my gut that the confrontation with my family will happen within the next week or two. I wanted to have a full defense of why I'm not around that would NOT trigger judicial proceedings. Let me know if your letter works. I'm very interested.

(((((rM)))))))))

Odrade

MrsQ

Congratulations. What you are doing is so hard! I hope all goes well for you, and that the backlash is not too severe. Be strong!

Q.

lisavegas420

razorMind and Odrade.....would either of you or anyone else that has sent a letter to family, care to share your letters with me?

I have often thought about writing a letter, but frankly, I'm not even sure they would open it.

but as razorMind said: already accepted in my heart that my family will probably never again spend time together under the same roof

Lisa

arancia

the fact that j.w cut all the strings with their who ever the person is,show very clearly how insicure their belive is.The fact that they forse the situation by makinging all difficult,is again a sign of insicurity on the part of the organisation it self.,but to reach a certain age and experince in live for nothing,as far i concerne realy make me sick.Religion is a cituation of free choice,but they are ditactors and can not accept any freedom.They are not happy lol,they never will be because in the end of the day they regret surely the ones who have the gut to do what you are doing.good on you,you deserve the best in life from now on. arancia

reubenfine

I applaud your decision and courage. I wrote such a letter and my two sisters now shun me although they didn't even try to prove me wrong on even one point. I said if they can show evidence about the UN scandal to the contrary of my statements that I would go to every meeting for a year. Their only response is I'm an apostate and end of story. My mother still loves me and won't shun me, though. Oh well, at least I did what I thought I had to do, speak the truth. I will never stop speaking the truth as I see it and have no regrets in living that way. Whatever happens, you will be true to yourself.

Gopher

As one who has been shunned by my own parents and grandmother for over 3 years now, I fully empathize with all the earlier posters on this thread.

Razormind, you have to do what your heart and mind tell you to do. You can be logical, reasonable, and try to choose your words ever-so-carefully. You can build an unimpeachable argument.

In the end, none of it matters. All that matters to our JW parents/relatives is blind adherence to their faith and worshipful devotion to their organization. Even if it goes against all logic.

But I guess we all know what it's like to be a loyal J-dub. We can understand why our relatives shun us. They're told to HATE us (even their own relatives) by their masters at Watchtower headquarters. It doesn't matter what the Bible says. It doesn't matter what their heart tells them. (Oh yes, it's a "Biblical" hate which means to "love less". )

Oh there are a few exceptions where a JW will listen to their inner voice and still talk to you "on the sly". Any who have such JW relatives can count themselves quite fortunate.

After a while we can adapt to the fact that essentially we have no parents (or whoever the relatives are). It creates a hole in you, but pretty soon you learn to work around it. And that right there proves that their shunning doesn't work. We don't have to feel "cowed" into returning to their controlling, mind-numbing, heartless "religion".

razorMind

by their masters at Watchtower headquarters

Excellent choice of words. Sums it up exactly.

After a while we can adapt to the fact that essentially we have no parents (or whoever the relatives are). It creates a hole in you, but pretty soon you learn to work around it. And that right there proves that their shunning doesn't work. We don't have to feel "cowed" into returning to their controlling, mind-numbing, heartless "religion".

This too is true. I think I've been slowly distancing myself for some years now. I think I will start lessening contact with the other relatives as well (not that they're seen on a regular basis anyway)--it's funny how even the most inactive, double-life-leading of them will regard you from a distance once you either get DF'd, or reveal your real stance on the org. It's strange--the longer I am out of the org, the less time I desire to spend with any of them or talk with them.

Lisa, I can share the letter via email, or whichever way you'd prefer. (don't have much experience with the private message feature here) I'd also be interested in seeing other letters, if you don't mind sharing.

There's some minor tweaking to be done to some parts--but I will keep y'all posted when I send it.

Well, I'm about to do it.....

Share this