The ten best ways to disrupt a District Assembly:

by czarofmischief 71 Replies latest jw experiences

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    1. Have an apostate food truck outside with free burritos and Shasta cola.

    2. wear a smurf costume and run across the stage.

    3. Bikini car wash across the street.

    4. Have an old-school breakdancing session on the corner, cardboard and all. Bonus if you do it on a mat made of Watchtowers and primary colored book covers.

    5. Have a garage sale or flea market in the neighborhood during the afternoon session.

    6. Sit in the audience and applaud everything that anybody says - try to get a standing ovation for each sentence of the closing prayer.

    7. Put a recording of rap, heavy metal, or other forbidden music on instead of the Kingdom Melodies.

    8. Get fifty of your friends to walk around in the stadium during the session, holding signs that say, "Louder please!" and "Take your shirt off!" and "Make some noise!" and "We're number one!"

    9. Protest outside with signs that say "Religion is a snare and a racket!"

    10. Hog the women's bathrooms, making the lines as long as humanly possible.

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    Yawn and sigh as loud as possible to disrupt the people around you trying to hear the spiritual feast.

    Get up and down several times during a session, and when the people around stare at you, tell them you have the bladder the size of a peanut.

  • shamus
    shamus

    LOL!

    I personally didn't like those people who disrupted the assemblies! They made me think that the truth was more correct!

    Anyways, funny comments!

    Try giving out free coke outside during the parts... harry potter autographs out the front doors....

  • Yizuman
    Yizuman

    ROFLMAO

    Yiz

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    LOL

    I tried the rap one

  • Scully
    Scully

    Bring a whoopie cushion and place it on your seat under a towel or blanket. Oh what the hell.... bring several and share the joy.

    In addition to the whoopie cushion, bring an "Immodium" box filled with candy. Munch on the candy liberally, but make sure the people around you see that you have an "Immodium" box.

    Every 20-30 minutes, make a spastic dash out of your seat, as though you need to get to the washroom in a BIG hurry.

    When you come back and sit down again the whoopie cushion will make everyone very very afraid.
    (repeat entire procedure as needed)

    Love, Scully

  • shamus
    shamus

    Talk like you're psychotic, kinda like SOJ, but more irritating.. (hard to imagine, I'm sure!) Mumble lots, like the mentally challenged person from "There's Something About Mary"... mumble particularly about your penis.

  • Swan
  • Hamas
    Hamas
    "There's Something About Mary"... mumble particularly about your penis

    Have you seen my weaner ?

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence

    Bring hundreds of copies of a letter from the UN stating that the WBTS was an NGO for almost 10 years and leave them in various places where they can be easily found.

    Jackie

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit