I'm 58 I hear you brother! I'm paying the price too
The older I get the more angry I become!
by Sour Grapes 33 Replies latest jw experiences
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Not_Culty
Message me if you wish . Mr Sour grapes. The elite activists active now are
Talented
Intellectual
Skilled
Possess common sense
and connected with resources .Some of us have multiple PHDs
We are the ones without fear .
WT has our families.WT fears us
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joe134cd
I was reading a post on here yesterday, of a 20 year old women who woke up due to her jw boyfriend feeling guilty about making out . Although I'm in my mid 40s now and left 5 years ago, I couldn't help but feel so thankful that due to a favourable set of circumstances this women awoke when she did.
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sparky1
This is a very important topic for me. I am 62 years old and have gone through therapy about 12 years ago. No longer do I have issues with major depression or all consuming anxiety. But I still have residual anger! Maybe our deep seated issues don't come to the fore all at once? Perhaps we can only take so much psychologically and so our minds only let us work on what we are able to at any given moment. At any rate Sour Grapes, I feel your pain and am sorry for all your wasted years as a Witness. I am working on my anger daily by practicing principles of mindfulness that I learned in therapy.
Each morning I read a segment of this book to refresh myself on how to apply mindfulness in dealing with my anger. My hope is that I no longer injure myself or those close to me through inappropriate expression of anger. Best wishes to you. As Jon Kabat Zinn is fond of saying: 'Remember, in any given moment, there is more right with you than wrong with you.'
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Brokeback Watchtower
I'm 65 and was consumed with anger for the first couple of years I found TTATT it is very natural for all I can see. It usually becomes less consuming as time goes on and we do some introspection.
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DesirousOfChange
I too was extremely angry after I got past the shock of learning TTATT.
Angry first AT ME, for being so damn stupid and gullible to really believe that somehow I was soooo special that I (or anyone) could "beat" death. Think about that........now i'd laugh my ass off if someone tried to convince me or that.
Angry too at the lying bastards that know they are lying bastards at WT/HQ. I'm not sure how high or how deep that goes. Could all of the 7 Popes/GODs (Guardians Of Doctrine) be that gullible too? Do they REALLY believe the shit sandwiches they are selling? IDK. But there are high ranking JWs that DO KNOW. They know because they have written lies and twisted facts in their publications in an effort to support their bullshit doctrines. These people KNOW they are lying and giving misleading "evidence". They know they are doing harm to the R&F. They continue on with their fabrication that enables them to continue to live their cushy lifestyle at the expense of their victims. If there ever was a Hell, they should be there!
We've come to realize that our "fate" in life is pretty much set already. Too late to make major changes. Fortunately we didn't put all of our eggs in the WT basket and did some planning for our future. And, our kids did go to college (because I missed out thanks to Armageddon being so damn close) and are all fairly well established in their lives. Now it's our grandchildren that we focus on. They will never be in the Cult!
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JW GoneBad
The Older I Get The More Angry I Become!
Sour Grapes...you're not alone according to the other posts.
If this is any consolation...the WTBTS is very well aware of the anger among the older generation of JWs. We older PIMOs are like a thorn in the side...and the pain to the Society is being felt more and more day after day...rest assured!
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Wasanelder Once
For the longest time when I put my head on the pillow at night I didn't realize that I wasn't actually resting my head against it. I was so wound up that I was hovering just above it thinking I was relaxing. Now I slow down, put the thoughts of the past out of my head and rejoice in the day I just lived, the people I interacted with and laughed with. I love my days. I don't let the past keep my head hovering above the pillow any more. I breathe deep and exhale a few times as I let the pillow caress the side of my head. I love to be breathing. Just let it go and enjoy your days SG.
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Sour Grapes
I appreciate all of the insightful and heartfelt comments! The Borg stole our past but not our future. We have learned to live in the present not putting living on a block of ice waiting to live in a future petting zoo that is just around the corner.
I will never forget the sorrow in the eyes of my mom laying in a nursing home bed when she accepted she was dying. She beat the truth into me because Armgeddon was so close and I wouldn't even get to graduate from high school.
If there was a burning hell, the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses would have a front row seat.
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Brock Talon
Sour Grapes
When I started to wake up, I was angry at first too. But I soon realized I was only hurting myself. After all, the people I was most angry with were not even in my life any more, including my parents who got me into the mess in the first place. All those people would never feel my anger, so what good was it doing me?
Once I fully woke up, I also came to the realization that I was angry with myself as well. That anger lingered somewhat because the person it was directed at looked at me every day in the mirror.
Eventually, I had to learn to let it go and forgive myself for all the wasted time and opportunities. I forgave myself for trying to build relationships and attempting to please people that didn’t really care about me.
Once I did that, I was able to move on and build a happy life. I don’t think I could have done that successfully if I was eaten up with anger. Now, I will admit that from time to time I feel a slow, dull, ache of regret. But that comes less frequently and with less intensity all the time. I don't feel anger any more.
The only way I am reminded of any of these kinds of feelings is when I peruse social media sites like this one. I come here from time to time in order to remind myself of where I came from, and also to see what is going on in the ex-JW community because I still care about it. But I limit it because it can bring back negative feelings I don't want to have.
My suggestion is to try to limit your thinking about all this stuff and concentrate on something you really want to do that you never would have before. The Watch Tower already took many years from you; why give them any more?