Another Df'ing/suicide...in memory of a dear friend... (page 5)

myself

(((((((((Essie))))))))))

Hugs right back at you!

Talking to you was therapy for me. I had thoght about starting a thread about it too. I decided to watch the board this weekend and post something this week. It is such a terrible loss. I knew "Drew" in his childhood years, and you were able to share so much of his later ones. Thank You.

forgive me, I forget who it was that posted that he must've been proud to have a friend like me. that is so kind of you to say, but honestly, it has to be the other way around. i am so proud that he was my friend, i only wish i could've helped him somehow...

Don't underestimate yourself. He and his family had asked about you when he couldn't contact you because of the shunning situation. He cared very much about you by doing this. He was the type of person who gave from the heart, you truly were his friend. He left us a legacy of wonderful memories to cherish.

I feel I have found a friend in you too, I want to stay in contact.

oldcrowwoman

Esmeralda

I am sorry to hear about your friends death. It is difficult to understand or even comprehend it all.

In my workplace a friend and co-worker who died of 90some % burns in taking his life. We are having a celebration of his life at the hospital.(workplace). This Friday.

Its really hard to take this all in and to comprehend of suicide as well it is for you. I do offer my condolences and a hug.

OCW

Garnet

Esmerelda,

Thank you for sharing that sad story, I can feel your pain just by reading your words. I too like so many others have made the attempt, looking back I cannot even believe that I was so down and out that I would even try such a thing. The ironic thing to me is that I joined the JW's to "get away" from those feelings and a few years later, realize that being in the Org. made me feel more guilty, less of a human, etc...I am trying my hardest to "fade away" but for some reason don't have the guts to just write that letter. I belive that in due time I will find the strength.

I again am very sorry for the pain that you are going through, unfortunately many of us know too well the same pain and can relate, but you will recieve much comfort from your friends here.

Much love to you & Take care

Garnet

Ghost of Esmeralda

Thank you, OCW for your post ((((((hugs)))))))

(((((((((Garnet)))))))))) hugs for you, please hang in there and don't despair. Fading out is the way to go if you can pull it off...i wish you all the best with that and thank you very much for your post...and welcome to the forum.

so many memories of my friend have been flooding my mind. I am trying to focus on the happy ones, so I don't let my mind wander to the darker thoughts of what he went through at the end. I'm still in shock, I don't know if I will ever get over this entirely, and am so completely frustrated by the lack of information available. I can't even find an obituary on him anywhere :(

Thanks again everyone for your support...i have read, read again, and read again your posts in the past few days, and am grateful for every kind word.

essie

Megaera

{{{{{Essie}}}}}}

I can't even find an obituary on him anywhere

Gawd that's harsh. Not even worthy of a remembrance in death for the sake of his wife and child.

There are far too many of these meaningless, senseless and cruel deaths. The WTS has much innocent blood on their hands. Nothing can justify even one of these wrongful deaths. Nothing.

You write so eloquently, Essie.... your memories of Drew are a wonderful tribute to him. I am sure someone would be interested (a local newspaper, perhaps) in publishing his story.... "Not Just Another Suicide" or something along those lines. People need to know how devastating it can be to be disfellowshipped. This is a time in a person's life when they need love, support and guidance THE MOST, and the WTS casts them aside like garbage.

About 15 years ago, I too lost a friend to suicide a short time after she was disfellowshipped. I didn't know about either the DFing or the suicide until it was too late. The pain you are feeling is all too familiar to me. {{{{{{ Essie }}}}}

cruzanheart

Dear Essie, I just read your post (I've been off the board for a few days), and I am so very sorry, from the bottom of my heart. Please try to find a way to send Drew's wife and son a little note of love and support, and add mine to it. There is nothing harder than losing a loved one to suicide because you spend so much time wondering if you could have done something -- ANYTHING -- to keep it from happening. And print out all of these posts -- they will bring you comfort every time you read them. I did that with the thread about my dad's suicide, and it is immeasurably comforting, like lots of hugs every time I need them.

(((((Essie))))) (((((Drew's family)))))

Love,

Nina

larrynbabies

(((((ESSIE))))) I am so sorry to hear about your friend. You know my story and It seems such a waste when someone does this and you are left wondering why. Even having been on the edge of this cliff we still look down and wonder... Losing someone who we loved is such a terrible thing. It seems that the ones that are the most vulnerable and kind suffer the most. The ones with the biggest hearts and the most humility are so much at risk to being harmed by the organization. It just doesn't fit with how people are supposed to be. The rules of this cult have damaged thousands and thousands of people. I wonder if a day goes by that someone somewhere has not taken this step because of the organization. God knows his children and he will recieve them with open arms no matter what.

Larrynbabies

coffee_black

I am so sorry. Words just aren't enough...

Stories like this need to be told. Couldn't we somehow compile them? Publish them?The public needs to know how distructive this cult is. It happens to so many JW families. I think if we put our heads together, we could come up with a way to make this public. The stories I've read on this site alone would be enough to fill a volume. I for one, think it needs to be done.

coffee

Ghost of Esmeralda

Hi Coffee,

just discovered your reply to this thread, thank you for writing.

Unfortunately I could put two chapters in that book, three if you count my own struggle with suicidal tendencies since the age of 12. But I think you're right, if there was a way to remember, and put these stories in one place, it SHOULD be done.

I have webspace...if anyone has essays that they want to put up in a In Memory of those lost to suicide section, e mail me at [email protected] and I will do my best to get them up onto the web.

I am going to add Drew's story to my website right now.

As a footnote; I never found an obituary for Drew, but through a friend of my mom's I was able to get the last known address for his wife, and I did write a letter to her, and her son. I don't know if she'd even read the whole thing, knowing that I'm out of the Org...but I had to try.

thanks again everyone for your posts to this thread. I'm still looking back at them and reading them.

love

essie

Another Df'ing/suicide...in memory of a dear friend...

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