by Prisca 24 Replies latest social relationships
Can you see yourself remarrying (or getting into another long-term defacto relationship) if your partner died?
I'm not talking about the usual situation where people get divorced, but if your partner died, and you suddenly found yourself single again?
Could you handle it emotionally? If you have kids, how do you think they could handle the possibility of having a new step-parent in the family?
Has anyone done it? Any experiences?
I know I've made silly comments about this subject in the past, but on sober reflection, I don't think I could. I'd be too grief stricken for the first few years to be worthwhile company to any potential mate, and after that I'd probably be reluctant to try due to the probability that a future marriage could never replace the great one I had.
Can you see yourself remarrying (or getting into another long-term defacto relationship) if your partner died?
No way! It would be out of the question for me. I plan on going first anyways.
Brummie
I'd probably be reluctant to try due to the probability that a future marriage could never replace the great one I had.
You say the nicest things, Steph! Well done, mate. That's almost as good as giving her flowers!
Cheers, Ozzie
I agree with Ozzie, although I think she'd like to hear that even more than receiving flowers!
I hope none you nice guys here ever have to deal with this subject.
I've always told SheilaM that if she dies first, I have some scores to settle and would follow directly. I could neither replace her or enjoy my life with only her memory.
Dark but true.
Thunder
Could you handle it emotionally? If you have kids, how do you think they could handle the possibility of having a new step-parent in the family?
What timing Prisca!
I just attended my best friends wifes funeral and it scared me really bad. I kept reflecting on the idea.....what if it was my wife? When I think about that situation it REALLY scares me and I wonder if I could handle it. My wife is my whole family, as the rest shun me. We have been married 30 years.
I am with Steph. To think of remarrying would be a hard thing to imagine when you love someone your now with so much. I have cried just thinking about my wife dying. I see how it affects others and it really scares me. I hope I die first as I think she would handle better than I.
I suppose in time I might re-marry but it's hard to guess at.
As for my daughter who now shuns me accepting another woman in my life.......she has nothing to do with me now so I guess it wouldn't matter.
Gumby
Since my husband is 18 years my senior, we have discussed this in the past. He wants me to find someone else if he goes first; I just don't feel as though I could.
Tammy
Until I met and married onacruse I thought for sure I would remarry if my mate ever died. Now however my love for Craig is so deep I know I could never replace, or remotely find someone who I love as deeply so why bother.......I now understand why sometimes married couples die so close together, I would die of a broken heart, I simply wouldn't want to live without my sweetie.
Sad but so true!
Katie
PS to this is when my Father died I had wished someone would have come into my Mother's life, she is such a wonderful woman and yet seemed so sad and lonely. Children just can't fill that void in their parents lives so it wouldn't have bothered me to see her remarry in fact I wanted her to find some happiness and a companion.
Hi Prisca,
I'm wondering what brought on that question? I have personal experience with this. I was only 28 when my husband died. If you asked me while I was married to him if I would remarry......I most likely would have said no. I did however. I am happier now than I ever have been in my entire life. I consider my (2nd) husband to be my first. Now, at the age of 42, I am sure that I would not remarry. Then again, hmmm.....I thought that before, didn't I? I guess that I'm just trying to say that you never can really know what you will do until you are in it. I just don't want to find out again. I've got the best guy in the world. Dj
