Do You Regard This Place As A Rehab Centre?

by Englishman 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  To clarify:

  On this site, and others, I regularly come across people who say they are "Moving on", or "Getting a life for themselves", or simply stating that they have "Outgrown this place".

  Now, I'm not talking about people who have simply got bored with posting, or are cheesed off with someone else and decide not to post anymore. I'm talking about ex's who have come here purely as some sort of therapy exercise and believe that, once recovery is achieved, that "Moving on" is a necessary conclusion to their re-adjustment back to normality.

  In other words, like Sandra Bullock believed in "28 Days", they assume that leaving is a sign that they are no longer operating dysfunctionally. Look at me! I'm cured! I've left!

  Me? well, I solved most of my dub hang ups over a period of years well before the advent of the internet. I'm delighted that I learnt a lot more reasons as to why the WT is so wrong, and that I learned much of that from sites such as this. But I don't feel any sort of dependancy on this site other than the fact that I love many of the folk here. I post here because I like it here. It's as simple as that.

  How about you?

  Englishman.
• 

  ashitaka

  Nah, this place is just a place to hang now. I remember coming here in Sept of 2001, not wanting to turn back to the JWs after learning it wasn't the troof, and being depressed about Sept. 11 and wanted to talk to somebody. Well, this place was it.

  Now, this really is just a place to post and talk about anything, although JW issues do infuriate me from time to time, and I can come here to vent. I still have one family member in, after getting the rest of them out.

  ash
• 

  ozziepost

  I post here because I like it here. It's as simple as that.

  I like that. Simple and direct. Well done, Eman.

  Is Harry smiling yet?

  Cheers, Ozzie
• 

  obiwan

  I have definitely had some rehab from people on this forum, it tells me I'm not alone and other people can relate with the trauma from the org. It has helped me put some things to rest.
• 

  expatbrit

  I post here because they put internet access in the psychiatric wing.

  Expatbrit
• 

  Englishman

  I post here because they put internet access in the psychiatric wing.

  *Splutter*!

  Englishman.
• 

  Matty

  Do I regard this place as a rehab centre? Yes, but not only that I also regard this place as a place to hang out - a real community. If posters need some kind of closure it's up to them I guess, but I regard many of the people here as personal friends and so if they then decide to leave the forums and proceed to make a post about it I feel more than a little discarded. I can't help thinking that this is a leftover JW behaviour, feeling the necessity to make an exit like that.

  How would you like it if you went to your favourite pub or coffee shop one evening and one of the regulars waltzes into the bar and shouts out to everyone "I don't need you lot anymore, I don't need this place, I've got other friends now, goodbye!" and then walks out. You would think he was a bit of a nut to say the least. Likewise if a poster needs closure and feels it necessary not to post or visit this forum anymore I certainly wouldn't advise them to start a thread saying "I've moved on, I don't need this place anymore" - I'd advise them to just stop posting.
• 

  Shakita

  Mr. Shakita and I lurked for a long time before posting here. We used this site, along with other sites such as Freeminds, to open up our minds after being so blinded by the fear that the WT puts in you to listen to "apostate" talk. I guess we did use this place as a rehab center at one time, but I think we have moved past that. Now we are trying to find our way in the "real" world, learning that there are no easy answers.

  Mrs. Shakita
• 

  COMF

  E, I started posting in January 1997 (on H20). It took me six months to accept the reality that the WBTS wasn't what it had claimed to be. Chalk in another three years adjusting to all the implications of that, especially including struggling to figure out what to believe now that I knew The Truth™ was not the truth.

  I basically had to start over from scratch examining everything I believed and deciding whether it warranted keeping or throwing away. There were lots of discussions on H20 and here that helped me with that stuff. It was also a help to read posts of other people who were going or had gone through the same process.

  The boards helped keep me grounded, allowed me to vent when my frustration at all the unknowns got too high, and gave me a kind of support group.

  At this point, I would say that I'm past all that. However, I would have said the same thing a few years ago. I didn't realize at first how theraputic the boards were, and a few times at different points in my progress I too announced that I had gained all I could from the boards and was moving on, only to return either gradually or quickly.

  Back in 1997/98 I was all over the board, posting sometimes for hours. Now I just look in occasionally. Used to be, everybody knew me. Now I'm so scarce here that my name doesn't even pop up when those roll call lists (Who Would You Most Like to [fill in blank with favorite verb]) start getting posted.

  Yeah, it's therapy, and there comes a point when a person who has been getting deep soul healing from the board turns his eyes from the screen, notices the physical world around him, and realizes that he is at last ready to become part of it. It's a great moment in recovery.
• 

  Fire Dragon

  Englishman,

  I have to second your statement:

  I love many of the folk here.

  First I came here to learn the truth about the Borg. Once convinced that the WTS is a cult, I came to "recover." I am still recovering, though some wounds may never heal. I go away for a while and find that I have 'withdrawal' and have to come back. This forum is addictive. There are many intelligent and insightful folks here and I like to think that I associate with a higher class of people by being here.

  Fire Dragon