I'm trying to get a jump ahead for my colleague. I am making progress though and she is now willing to listen to logic. Logic and reasoning is like Kryptonite to JW's.
Does anyone know the themes of this year's circuit and district conventions?
by mamacita29 11 Replies latest watchtower bible
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sir82
"Do More, You Miserable Worms"
"Jehovah Needs Your Money"
"We Speak For God, Obey Us Or Die"
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Finkelstein
Yes " Steadfast Devotion to Jehovah's Publishing House "
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Beth Sarim
''Send us your valuable things''.
lol, but just to make mention that it's 10 years since ''Deliverance at Hand''.
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freddo
Welcome to the
"Dunk'em Young Circuit Assembly!"
1. Song & Prayer
2. Experiences - interviews of those who were baptised as soon as they were out of nappies and who remain confident in their old age that Jehovah's promises of paradise are true. (Wheelchair users may remain seated during their interviews)
3. Announcement
The Circuit Assembly deficit is £_________________
4. Financial Needs of the Local Circuit
Give Us Yer Lolly. (And Ice Cream Money)
5. Baptism Talk -
Are you over five years of age? Not baptised? No toy cars for you, then!
The baptism candidate (singular) will wave her teddy bear and say "Yes Mummy" to acknowledge she agrees with the "Two QUESTIONS".
Lunch time and upbuilding association with any anonymous pedophiles in the audience.
6. Symposium. Return To Jehovah!
A) Return To Jehovah With Your WALLET.
B) Having Returned, Will You Praise Jah With Your Valuable Things?
C) If You Have Returned, Have a Penis and Long Trousers - Then Reach Out For Privileges!
D) Return with a clean shaven face.
7. Explaining "The Generation" that Overlaps and It's Grand Climax at Hand!"
8. Announcement "The Deficit is still £________________________" Give More!
9. Beware of Apostate Lies about Child Abuse
Interview a repentant child molester and have him explain why Angus Stewart and Justice McLellan are tools of Satan.
Song (Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?) and Prayer
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Finkelstein
Good one Freddo
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Finkelstein
or..... " Providing for Jehovah's Earthly Kingdom to Gain Paradise "
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steve2
"Millions Now Living Are F*cking Gullible" -
Sabin
Freddo, you are so cool man. I split my sides laughing. -
DATA-DOG
"Imitate Jeehoober, the Grand-Gofundme.com user!" 2016
DD