I guess that I am a homosexual and didn't know it because I have been wearing white socks, exclusively, for the past thirty years!
Back in the 70's I had a severe problem with ingrown toenails. The dye from colored socks would get into the edges of my toenails and complicate the problem even more. So, since then I only wear white socks. I knew it was turning me into Cliff Clavin, but I never realized that it made me gay!
Now, in one of the congregations that I attended there was this one very old, feeble "sister" who must have been at least 90 years old. At one of the service meetings one night, the "brother" gave a talk all about the evils of "sisters" wearing slit skirts and the detrimental effects it could have on our young "brothers".
After the meeting, a group of us were talking about how spiritually uplifting the meeting was, and this elderly "sister" spoke up and said (in her typically feeble 90 year old voice), "I guess I'm gonna have to watch what kind of clothes I'm wearing, I don't wanna do anything to cause trouble in the congregation."
We all had to turn and look away, and try to hide the tears rolling down our faces from the laughter we were trying so hard to contain!!