How did your KIDS react when you left?

by Prisca 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Interesting responses.

    (((zev))) what a shame. I hate you Watchtower!!!!!

    I grew up Catholic, I can't imagine my parents having sat me down at some point and saying "we were mistaken about the Church, and we're not going to attend anymore". My becoming JW was largely a rebellion against my Catholic upbringing. I thought that the WT was the antithesis of the RCC. Wrongo!

    I was always popular with the kids at the KH. I hope that my disassociating creates curiosity in some of them, a willingness to question what they're being taught. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Excellent question Prisca...and some equally interesting responses here.

    I left the troof first, and I left as a believer. My kids remained with their father because I was destined to go down with this system of things, and both their father and I thought this was the right thing to do. The children were never forced to stay with one parent rather then the other, they were given the choice...so in time, one by one, they came to live with me. Over a period of 4 years I changed from "believer on the outta" to "non-believer now anti". The kids still respect their dad's view regarding the troof...but they have made a stand and no longer want to be part of that world again. I did introduce worldy things to them gradually, so as not to freak them out. First xmas we did nothing, Andy had to have a quiet xmas with his girls in the bedroom...he did this out of respect for my kids delicate situation...to them at that time xmas was still bad. Next xmas we spent with Andy's family and the kids were treated like they were part of the family and they liked it and they loved the warm loving family thing...they also realised that worldy people are not so bad. The following xmas we went hard....the tree, decorations, pressies, xmas carols etc. This year will be our second xmas...and they can't wait...little monkeys LOL.

    So now we're worldlies and we have all adjusted nicely - kids especially.

    ~Beck~

  • imanaliento
    imanaliento

    our oldest then 17, was upset when he was told this meant the older brother he liked wouldn't be talking to us anymore. I think he thought we would still go, but we all talked about it with them for a good month, we read Franz's books, so alot of that was discussed. 'he so enjoys sleeping in.

    the middle son, 14 started asking questions early in the year. the one I remember was the WTS put in the bible book of stories that the first rainbow appeared after the flood, he knows some physics and that those laws had to be in place long before the flood, so it couldn't be the first. ( it was the first printing error I opened my eyes to ) his dad told him to ask an elder, elder Doug said well there could of just misted out ( you'd still see a rainbow ) or it rained at night, ( he had no real logical answer ) . the 14 year old from then on sat at the meetings passing a paper back and forth between he and his dad questioning everything . he saw the hypocricy.

    #3 son, 10 at the time son always had us on the schedule to do the WT at the time that was decided upon, it took a while to change his routine, he's fine with us not going and being able to celebrate birthday parties, when he told the kids in his class that he celebrates now. they said "go Jayden". looking forward to the holidays, and making their lists.

    they laugh at the dubs now.

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    The kids never gave it their all.So when I told them about what I found out, at first they were shocked,but then as I proved one point after the other,showing them the WT.past history they were able to let go.Now they are so much happier with living their lives as they want to.They are decent good kids.Its hard to answer questions without giving up too much info. because of not wanting to come out in the open yet .The kids are out,but the parents are still in,waiting because much more is involved for us.Lets leave it at that for now.Blueblades

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Thank you to everyone who responded.

    It's a question that I've often wondered about. Having had such strict parents, I cannot imagine them ever leaving the JWs. If they had, it would have brought a fair amount of emotional and spiritual trauma to us kids.

    Also, reading the posts here, we discuss our reactions to leaving the JWs and life since, yet I don't recall reading much about your children's reactions to leaving (hence the reason for posting this thread). Sometimes I think we get so involved in our own journey out of the JW world, that it is easy to forget that the children of ex-jws are going through exactly the same transition.

    Perhaps theirs is a far more complex transition, since they also have to cope with the thought that their parents have made mistakes in their upbringing, and now their life is going to be changed by their parents' new decisions and choices?

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Prisca,

    : How did your KIDS react when you left?

    Do you have kids, Prisca? I have four. They're all grown now.

    How about you?

    Farkel

  • gumby
    gumby

    Well, I have one child who is 28 and she and her family are very loyal dubs. He is a servant and she is very active and what we knew as very exemplary.

    I was already DFed when I had turned Apostate. My daughter heard about my new 'FINDS' and my doubts and questions about the Org. through my wife who told her . When I had read COC in the first month or so I layed it out quickly in a readers digest version of what I knew to my wife who listed as she had to....I was" LAYING IT OUT"

    All this was related to my daughter and nothing changed as far as she treated me.

    I'm a fortunate one with my daughter who still talks to me on the phone.....when she calls for her mom....She AND her husband both talk to be when dealing with my wife on the phone or face to face.

    So my answer prisca....I was treated the same as I was when I was DFed when I left the borg.

    I am sure my daughter was sad and her family....two kids also ( yeah, I'm a granpa twice) that I wasn't "coming back".

  • pomegranate
    pomegranate

    Mine reacted like this: Happy happy joy joy

  • gumby
    gumby

    Cute little tykes you have their Pom.....thanks for the pics!

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