"Elder's Kids are the Worst?"

by Pathofthorns 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  waiting

  Hey,

  Continuing on this dark thread,

  My pyschiatrist was trying to help me assimilate the accepting of a gay child. As a JW, I wasn't buying into the thinking. "What do you think your son is going to do the rest of his life? He's 18."

  My JW answer, "He can remain celebate if he really wants to." I was so straight talking.

  Now my answer would be honestly, "I have no idea in heaven or earth how to deal with this situation."

  The only thing that worked between my favorite middle son and myself was that we "agreed to disagree." And then we relearned how to communicate with each other again. And we remain silent on the issue of his sexuality. BTW, after college, he fell in love with a beautiful girl, and after a year, she dumped him. Lord only knows what the man will do now.

  The only thing I know is that I will remain his mother. That is the choice I've made.
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  RedhorseWoman

  waiting,

  Yes, it's so very easy to pin the badge of celibacy on someone when they are not part of your family. Seeing a close relative condemned to a solitary life is another matter, however.

  A sister in our Hall married a brother who seemed to us to be gay. We were right. Shortly after their marriage he told her that he was not sexually attracted to her and never wanted to have sex with her. Her dreams of having children went right down the drain.

  She wasn't the greatest "catch" in the world, but I think of how her life is now just a big sham. She's married, and most likely will be for life, but the man she married doesn't love her and finds her repulsive.

  Then I look at my nephew, who is celibate at the moment (and it is a myth that gay men are promiscuous....my nephew doesn't believe in having sex outside of a committed relationship). He wants nothing more than to be loved and to have a partner who will care about him.

  As a gay man, he feels friendship towards women, but he does not feel the emotional closeness that a heterosexual man would. He, instead, feels that emotional desire for closeness with a man.

  I try to put myself in his position. Suppose we as heterosexuals were forced to either live alone or marry someone of the same sex?

  It's true that some people choose a celibate life, and some people never meet someone they choose to marry; but to disallow them a choice would be cruelty in the extreme.

  This issue has, needless to say, caused me a lot of anguish. I empathize with you, Waiting. ***HUGS****
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  waiting

  Dear Red Horse,

  Thank you for your reply. Outside of our immediate family, particularily JWs, I've never discussed this.

  Such sad things in this world.

  Thank God for a good joke book.

  waiting
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  stillajwexelder

  bttt - I am still in a silly mood