I have unfortunately been in the grip of anxiety and depression multiple times in my life. Each time, my mother would say to me, "What have you got to be depressed about; just snap out of it. Be happy." I felt like punching her right in the nose. You know what I mean.
THEN...THEN...then, a number of years ago, she hurt her back bending over to pick up a clothes pin. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with her back. She was bed ridden for months. Depression tip-toed in on its little cat feet and sat on her chest breathing into her face for months and months and months.
She would sit at the dinner table take one look at her food and burst into tears. Stuff like that. You know the drill.
It took months for her to recover. Tricyclics, God. After it was all over and she was back to herself, she apologized profusely for what she had said to me when I had been depressed. She said, "I know you must have wanted to punch me in the nose." To which I replied, "you'll never know how close you came."
People who havent' been there should have nothing to say about it. In fact, Art Buchwald, who has been hospitalized twice for depression told the National Press Club that if any of them found themselves depressed, to make certain that any therapist they went to had also suffered depression as well; that a depressed person should never accept as a therapist anyone who hadn't been depressed themselves and thus knew what they were talking about. I agree. Unless you've been there, you have NO idea - you're just shooting off at the mouth.
francois
