WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

Unchained

Hi!!
This is my first time at this so bare with me. I will be turning 21 tomorrow so I decided to celebrate like this. My family threw me a surprise birthday a week ago and we even had a pinata . It was great.
I was a JW all my life until this past year. Throughout my whole JW career I saw a whole lot of crap especially by elders but always excused them because I believed it was Jehovah's organization. Now I know God has nothing to do with the JW's.
I was lied to all my life. Now I don't know what to believe. What will I teach my children one day? Will I teach them about heaven or about a paradise on earth? Will I teach them about the trinity or about God and Jesus being two different individuals?
I was also lied about resurrection and that paradise would be here very soon. But I really never thought to see the day that my parents would have to pass away. What will I do when that time comes?
Leaving the JW's was one of the best decisions I have ever done, but it has also left me with a lot of questions unanswered.
I would like to hear what you all have to say about this and any advice you might have to give me.

Goodbye for now.

Your friend,
Unchained

Gopher

Hello. You have a lot to deal with! I can understand, because I was dismissed from JW's 1 year ago, but just a few months ago stopped going. I worried a lot about what was next!!

You seem to have a lot of concerns about the distant future. I would say just get to know yourself better first, and concentrate on the HERE and NOW. Establish your goals in life and what is truth FOR YOU.

Even though JW's have not proved to be the answer, yet there are a few Bible teachings that you may choose to take with you forward into life. If the paradise hope and the teaching about Jesus being second to God make sense, hold on. Read God's Word (if you can stand to do so), find what makes sense to you. Then pass the truths you are sure of to your future children.

When I saw your concern about your parents (I hope they are doing well physically!), it made me think about what I read one time. Life is like a road where you have 10 cars coming directly at you from the opposite direction. But what happens in real life is that 9 cars veer into the ditch before they ever reach you, so you only need to worry about that remaining 1 car. In other words, if you worry about every possible thing that may go wrong, you'll wreck your happiness and waste mental energy that could be well spent on other things! Worry about the things that actually confront you.

So continue to develop a relationship with your Creator, which should easier now that a meddling organization is out of your way.

Just my thoughts.

Gopher

SanFranciscoJim

Thank you for making me feel old, Unchained!
You were approximately ONE MONTH OLD when I was disfellowshipped!
In any event, if you love your children unconditionally, you will allow them to discover their own spiritual path. Most religions, IMHO, teach that "we are the only true religion", and therefore are practicing conditional love, much as the JW's do.
The God I worship today is a God of Love, not a god of doctrine.
JIM

Edited by - SanFranciscoJim on 23 March 2001 20:57:53

ICHING

hi unchained - thanks for writing and sharing -

i'm reluctant to offer advice - continue to post and read here - your present feelings are more than justified given what you've been through - those feelings are not about to disappear overnight -

you're not alone

I-CHING

PS happy 21st!!

Edited by - ICHING on 23 March 2001 22:43:17

Prisca

Unchained,

As Gopher said, concentrate on the here and now and try not to stress out too much about the future. Appreciate each day as it comes. In time you will work out what you want to believe in and what morals you want to live by. You are only 21. Your whole life is stretching in front of you. You can take any path you want. Give yourself some breathing space before you make any big decisions.

And Happy 21st!

doubtingsister

I really have no idea where you should go from here, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. All I can say is be glad you made it here for now and have others who can help you through this. I'm glad to meet you unchained and I'm sure you'll find many allies here!

rollercoaster

Dear Unchained,
I have a wonderful daughter. She has been raised as a JW. She is a teenager now. I feel so bad about not even celebrating her birth. I can't believe I have been so ignorant. This year we will celebrate as much as possible. I want her to have so much joy in life. I want her to remember laughter and love during her youth. And most importantly, I want her to remember me as being part of it.
Teach your children the principles of Jesus. The morals of love and kindness to others. Honesty and sharing. Compassion and tenderness. Respect and honor. As you teach them these things the other questions will be easily answered.

RC

OrangeBlossom

Great username, btw. It helped me alot to read Ray Franz' books, "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Religious Freedom." He brings out how the appeal of the JW's is that they seem to possess knowledge about the future and there is a certain contentment to knowing exactly what is going to happen. However, it is their perceived knowledge of the future, and we know how often that changes.

It is not easy to go from "knowing the future" into the unknown, but try to look at it as a journey and try not to put too much pressure on yourself in the process. I'm still on that journey myself. There are days when I feel like I've made a huge mistake and that I have been completely duped by Satan, but most of the time I look at it as glad to know that it is just another religion, with some very sincere, loving and misguided people.

But most important, imho, is that you try not be bitter. You are only 21 and came to the realization early, some of us were twice your age or older when we became aware of things. Even still, you lost out on a childhood that could have been filled with some wonderful memories and it's hard not to be bitter about that. Just count your blessings that you are still relatively young enough to enjoy many guilt-free years and the freedom to truly examine all religions if you choose.

Happy birthday!

Angharad

Happy Birthdy Unchained

Have a great day!!!

dark clouds

Unchained:

I began my planning my "escape" right about your age and was out a short time later, i totally empathize with your questions, cause we were never given a fair chance to chose.

Our whole world was "written" for us, starting with what we believed to what we had to think, from who our friends should be to what our goals should be. Extremely unfair, i KNOW. Believe me when i say you are NOT alone. This 'confusion' and lack of 'religious direction' you feel is not only understandable but the begining of your healing process. It will and does take time, but you will find your answers.

Luckily you figured out that the "truth" wasnt true, which shows that you are ahead of that bunch, cause you can think for yourself. Something we were never allowed, at least out loud, while we were in the borg.

You like i figured it out at a young age, so consider yourself lucky a second time also, because now you wont waste your life away in that path. Your doors are open to explore and learn and to find the truth that resonates within your soul. God, whatever you learn to call him/her, has not and will never abandon you, that is not his/her nature.

Religion may be hard to swallow now, but the beauty of it is that you are not pressed for time anymore, you have all the time to find out what it is YOU believe. Not to sound fundie, cause im very far from, as you will read in my posts, Jesus dedicated himself at the age of 30, and HE was 'the son' of god.

The only advice i can give is READ, read everything, let your mind and imagination take over, question it all and then read some more. The worst that can happen is that you will be educated. Only by comparing points of view will you come to find what resonates within you, and dont ever feel pressured or guilt ridden into accepting any one elses dogma and doctrine, unless you feel it is right for you.

One book i will recommend,
The Road Less Traveled, by Dr. Scott Peck.
he is a brilliant man

of the, I was walking in those shoes 8 years ago and found my way, class
CHUCK

one more thing
i found an axiom years ago that helped and still does,
"A druid is dependent on no man, and answerable solely to the voice of his own conscience."

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

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