Negative forum behavior (page 2)

Simon

Simon, I appreciate your approach to this pervasive problem that has brought down other forums.
I just hope you find the time to moderate and apply these rules where applicable regardless of seniority or personal connection.

I actually think those two are linked. The mistake many forums make and the reason why this one has lasted so long (not the only reason of course) is that it doesn't matter if you are a 2-month old member or a 12-year old member - the rules apply equally.

If anything we expect more of people who have been here longer and should "know the score" by now. We try not to play favourites but do try to make allowances and reason with people when possible and they will give us chance.

Again, it's probably the "JW" factor but what I often see is people use the site while they need it and they find a home here. Eventually they move on with their ex-JW life (we should all become ex-ex-JWs) and maybe don't need the forum as it is quite as much and probably should move on from the forum as well but instead want to change it into what they now want it to be and this causes some friction.

I hope my connection with the boss means she'll never delete me though ;)

sparrowdown

This is a very helpful list. Many that come here (myself included) are forum "virgins" so it can only be a good thing to specifically describe what would be considered "bad form". Thanks.

stillin

i disagree. Just kidding!

DwainBowman

!!!!!!

Vidiot

Honestly, Simon; you should write list-form articles for Cracked.

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

That is, hands-down, the greatest quote I have ever heard.

TerryWalstrom

On the Christadelphian site they have a unique feature which I have only mentioned once here many years ago.

PANKRATION

This is a special arena for people with personal grudges to debate each other outside the general population (visiting newbies).

The ill effects of a newcommer visiting for the first time and encountering the stench of negativity wrongly biases.

This is a kind of hospital, if you stop and think about it. It is a recovery ward. It is a community picnic. It's ill-mannered to push, shove, and name-call at any of those.

However--a special Pankration arena with certain guidelines attached, will bring the REAL battle out into the open. Otherwise, it festers into covert hostility.

When I got to a certain Mexican restaurant I see the condiment area marked

according to how HOT the ingredients are. I think a similar function might be advisable for certain Topics. Controversial topics are HOT.

Proper labeling goes a long way toward preparing us for what lies therein.

Most of the bad stuff I've seen in the last decade on tis Discussion Forum has been due to certain persons POSTURING for the attention of the outside audience rather than settling things privately by internal PM.

I know because I've tried to PM certain irritating people who ignore the PM and continue their natter on the public forum.

So anyway. . .

That's my suggestion: PANKRATION arena for members only. It is one on one and not a free-for-all. Members can observe without comment.

Simon

Most of the bad stuff I've seen in the last decade on tis Discussion Forum has been due to certain persons POSTURING for the attention of the outside audience rather than settling things privately by internal PM.
I know because I've tried to PM certain irritating people who ignore the PM and continue their natter on the public forum.
That's my suggestion: PANKRATION arena for members only. It is one on one and not a free-for-all. Members can observe without comment.

I agree. Most people who act up do so because of the audience. They demand an explanation for things but aren't happy if you take the time to explain things by email, PM or anything else other than publicly. i.e. they are not really interested in getting an explanation at all.

It sometimes seems that no one can obsess about winning an argument and hold a grudge like an ex-JW can !

I understand the intent for what you suggest and have thought about things like this several time but the people who do this would just complain if things were moved to a special area that wasn't on public display ("OMG, you're trying to hide things / cover things up !!!"). They will never be happy without the audience plus I don't want to encourage the behaviour at all - I doubt any hard feelings and insults said in such an area would ever be forgotten and allowed to lie for long.

Ultimately, I think it would send a confusing message saying some things are OK in one spot but not in another. Better to promote the rules and tone for the site and those that want that sort of site can use it as intended while those who want "fight club" can go find someplace else to infest.

you should write list-form articles for Cracked

Just to clarify, I didn't write that - it was from another blog but it made such good sense I thought it worth posting here too.

disposable hero of hypocrisy

I don't envy your job buddy. There's simply no way to keep everyone happy.

WhenI first came here I was shocked by the vitriol displayed by some, and at the same time equally impressed by the way vitriolic discussions could be held yet friendships maintained.

It was partly this realisation that helped me ease out of the black and white thinking indoctrinated into me from an early age. I'm altogether more balanced now, and if you disagree then you can all just *@#& off!! Only kidding, lg, loving the site, glad I'm finally able to sign in!

undercover

...some exJW's seem to bring a unique level of dysfunction to things especially if it involves any whiff of "authority" which of course is inevitable.

I think I've been guilty of that one myself. Being raised as a JW, but escaping, doesn't automatically make you a well adjusted new person. You still have to come to terms with your past, your present, and how you face the future.

After 10 years of either lurking, being active, going away, lurking again, I think I've finally grown some, and stuff that bothered me once isn't worth the trouble anymore, including board politics, feuds, popularity contests, and disagreements on how best to 'fight' the WTS.

I'm grateful the forum exists so we can keep up with the shenanigans of the WTS, and to vent when it affects us personally. If friends are made, that's even better.

MissFit

Thank you Simon for posting this. It is a good reminder.

Negative forum behavior

Share this