WERE YOU TREATED POORLY IN THE CONGREGATION?

by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    After reading these posts, I am embarrassed that the "Christian " congregation could ever claim to be so loving. Especially after considering comments at the service meeting on how to treat disfellowshipped ones, it makes you take a real long look at the organization.

  • Darkhorse
    Darkhorse

    "I don't know how i stumbled over this site"

    Oh, give me a break - don't try to play dumb. You purposely performed a search and did not just "stumble" into this "so-called apostate site". You purposely entered it, you are trying to justify to yourself that it was "an accident" that you entered an apostate site. Better look out, how do you know some of your other JW friends will not find out about you checking out apostate material and ratting on you to the elders. That is what some JW's do, right (I am not JW)?

    You had mentioned the others were disappointing Jehovah - don't see what Jehovah has to do with anything..... Well if you think they have because of them being on this site (which is ridiculous), guess you are disappointing Jehovah also - big time - seeing you are still a JW.

  • apple829
    apple829

    Rosalyn

    Did you e-mail leelee? Let us know if she responds!

    Sherryl

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    When I was growing up in St. Croix and Australia, I was treated well and felt like a part of a loving brotherhood. Once I came back to the U.S. in 1973 I noticed a definite chill in the air, but since I was an elder's daughter and a pioneer I was treated fairly well. When Big Tex and I got married we were still treated fairly well by our peer group, but the elders in our new congregation for some reason treated him like a punk kid and kept raising the bar on standards for becoming an MS. Then we started dealing with Tex's child abuse issues and suddenly we had leprosy, AIDS and halitosis all at the same time. By that time we were in his old congregation, where he grew up, and I could feel the temperature drop whenever I walked in. I changed congregations to get away from the nasty, bitchy comments made by the people who were still speaking to me, and at that point became invisible. I have been invisible ever since. Put up with it for 14 years, telling myself this was the "right" thing to do, but when my 6-year-old was in a wheelchair due to post-viral arthritis and I wheeled him into the KH and NO ONE came up to ask what happened, I decided this was the meanest place I'd ever been and if these were the people I'd have to spend forever with, then I'd pass.

  • dsgal
    dsgal

    I was never treated the way Jesus said his true followers would treat people.I never witnessed any "agape" love,only cliques,backbiters and gossipers.It was nothing but a social gathering mainly for elders,ministerial servants and their wives.I found that the women were judged mainly on what their husband was in the congregation.(And mine was an unbeliever.)He tried to get me to see the light for years.Thank God my eyes were finally opened.

  • spike
    spike

    YES. YES, YES, but I was too stupid to realize it. I just keep forgiving their cold attitudes. I kept trying to fit in. I hoped they would correct their unchristian behavior. When I found more love in a 12 step program, I began to wonder what was up. Maybe this is not a God organization after all. I am bitter I wasted so many years people pleasing.

  • mommy1
    mommy1

    Yes being a poor kid it was embarrassing when the well off families would bring into the hall all their hand me downs in trash bags to give to you. I didn't mind the handy me downs except for the part of making sure everyone in the congregation was looking at those trash bags and commenting at the end of the meeting oh how good of sister Money to give you those clothes.

  • saltiest
    saltiest

    I was never treated very well, always looked down upon. But then again, now matter how hard I tried to hide from everyone else, having a mother who was blind, and a father that snored during the meeting didn't help. I was invited to gatherings for the kids my age but was pretty much ignored. The few who paid attention to me and actually acted like friends immediately ditched me when I showed signs of depression. Oh, and when the whole stalking/attack issue came up I was laughed at and told I was making it up.

    I would say the only ones who treated me well were a few older brothers and sisters. One of them to this day talks to me like I'm a human being even though I'm no long one of "them".

    Oh yeah, another reason why so many families couldn't stand me (and I'm sure my whole family) was because we didn't have a car and always needed a ride to the meetings. Believe me, I dreaded the meetings just because of the ride factor. Soon as I was old enough and my parents let me, I walked to the meetings so I could leave as soon as possible.

    No gooey memories here.

    Alicia

  • Nanoprobe
    Nanoprobe

    Opphs wrong story

    Edited by - nanoprobe on 23 August 2002 18:21:1

  • Larry
    Larry

    While growing up, my family was always looked down upon. My dad wasn't a JW, he was as 'worldly' as they came, we were poor, my mother had 7 children, no one in my JW family had any JW responsibilities or titles, etc. But things changed as we got older, we all started working, getting baptized and married, got position and titles in the BORG. So things were looking up, but I always felt they never forgot where we came from.

    Interestingly, I think that's why my Mother was so hurt when I left the BORG - She no longer had someone to be proud of, an example of someone to prove the folks who looked down on us wrong - No more 'look at my son, he conducts the WT lesson,' etc. My advancement was a reflection on her.

    After I got married and moved to another hall things were 'peachy' - at least for me. But my wife hated the fakeness, she saw it immediately, but I was too busy reaching out to see it. I saw it after I 'stepped aside' as a Sheepdog, folks treated me differently over night.

    Anyway, these are some to the replies that touched me or brought back memories from the previous post -

    "I remember going out for service and I was that last person chosen."

    "Nobody wanted to go with us. Nobody even wanted to give us Not Homes to do by ourselves."

    "When I asked her who would be coming by to pick me up (with my son), she said: "Oh, I thought you had a car we could use. Well forget it then," and hung up in my ear."

    "but when my 6-year-old was in a wheelchair due to post-viral arthritis and I wheeled him into the KH and NO ONE came up to ask what happened, I decided this was the meanest place I'd ever been and if these were the people I'd have to spend forever with, then I'd pass."

    "I found that the women were judged mainly on what their husband was in the congregation."

    Peace ansd Security - LL

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