hi, im new here

by brwneyedgrl1 39 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Welcome to the board hon! Just keep in mind that there is somebody out there that is more suited to you. That will love and respect you without expecting changes from you to be that "perfect" person. Don't settle. You'll have plenty of war stories to read and share here.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Concernedmama - how is your daughter doing? She's about to start school pretty soon isn't she? I've not been around much lately...Life's keeping me busy.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Hi Billygoat,

    Nice to hear from you and I hope it is wonderful things keeping your life busy. Yes, my daughter and JW her boyfriend are still tight as ever, although as they have both been very busy this summer they haven't seen much of each other...but then there is always the computer or telephone He has taken to riding his bike over sometimes, and they just hang out, or play basketball, walk over to nearest convenience store for a Slurpee, or just sit around a talk. Pretty innocent stuff, and I would feel horrible shunning him or forbidding him our house just because he is JW. They will go to separate high schools next year ( starting grade 10), and I really hope that it loosens the tight bonds that hold them together. I try very hard not to fuss, but when I see their tight emotional connection, it is very obvious that it is not at all a casual relationship, despite their young age. I am actually very fond of the young man, but I will be so relieved when they go their separate ways.

    Sorry for highjacking your thread, brown eyes, but now you see why I have questions for you.

    concerned mama

    Edited by - concerned mama on 9 August 2002 11:55:31

  • BeautifulGarbage
    BeautifulGarbage

    Welcome Brown Eyes,

    Unfortunately, your situation seems to be a common one. "Worldly" girl, JW guy.

    I'm sure you will find some support here.

    Take care,

    Andee

    Brown eyes here too

  • stichione
    stichione

    Welcome Browneyes. You'll find the world of JW Discussion very interesting!

  • Kingpawn
    Kingpawn

    Browneyedgrl1,

    Welcome to JWD. Your situation is one I've seen mentioned here a few times, but I can't remember any where it worked out (if I'm wrong, someone please correct me) over the long run. If you click on "search" in the upper left hand area and type in "my boyfriend is a JW" or "relationship with a JW" etc., you'll find stories similar to yours.

    Megadude started a thread yesterday about the JW's core belief, which basically could be summed up as "the organization, no matter what." Be ready to jettison anything and anybody rather than leave it or risk getting kicked out because you see an obvious contradiction or error.

    This guy, if you were to go back with him (a possibility I sense since you and he still talk, the main issue is religion, and you want him to "see the truth"--he already does, in his view), as others will verify, sooner or later he'll have to `fess up to the elders he's been seeing a "worldly" girl. He'll be strongly counseled against it and that guilt trip they lay on him will make him a cold-hearted ex-suitor, unless he convinces them you're a possible "recruit."

    The fact he got involved with you at all, knowing how the JW's argue against marrying someone of another faith (and marriage's the purpose of dating, you see) as "limping on two different opinions" (1 Kings 18:21) shows he can't make up his mind. Or all the compromising on this issue will have to be from you.

    You have decades of life ahead of you. He's just one guy. Don't bet your future on him.

    Edited by - Kingpawn on 10 August 2002 7:23:27

    Edited by - Kingpawn on 10 August 2002 7:25:30

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    Hi and welcome aboard!

    So...you like VanMorrison?

    plum

  • back2dafront
    back2dafront

    funny how you said your parents asked if "he is black." They claim to not be predjudice but when it effects their own family, boy..watch out. My family associated w/ all types of nationalities, but when it came down to me dating another race, my father gave me quite the speech on all the hardships I'd encounter in a mixed marraige. WHATEVER. True there can be hardships, but it's nothing nearly close to what he had it cracked up to be. At least not yet. :-P

  • ring
    ring

    hello and welcome to JWD

  • curious
    curious

    I love Van, have most of his cd's! His mother was a dub for awhile when he was growing up! hmmmm... just found that out.

    Anyways, depending on your feelings any mixed marriage is going to be rough... I think you're love for each other has to be so much stronger than normal marriages and man most of those are tough enough.

    I know of a few cases around here where the wives are JW's and the hubby's are not and the marriages have lasted into the 25-30 anniversary marks. However, I don't know about the reverse, hubby JW wife not... since it is such a male dominant religion, as most are! might be harder especially when kids are involved. One case the wife gave up the JW's while the kids were raised and then after they left went back... the other case the kids are strong JW's.

    So GOOD LUCK! and be strong and think very, very hard on your decision... but most of all be happy.

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