by witchywoman 28 Replies latest jw experiences
Had Enough,
Ditto, wow! It`s like looking in the mirror.
I have spent years healing and trying to become an emotionaly harder person, for my own safety and survival. You guys have brought me to tears.You guys are great, and btw like Gloria Gainer sings, I am no longer that chained up little person still in love with you. I WILL SURVIVE!
If there is anyone out there still in the organization and you are reading and you can identify with anything here, you are not alone.
witchywoman
(((((((((((((((((( Witchywoman ))))))))))))))))))
What strength you must possess. To bear the pain of a man who betrays you emotionally thus scarring your mind and sense of self worth. I applaud you lady for being strong and compassionate.
I could with my life for Jehovah, I wanted his blessing and approval
It's so mind boggling that we used to believe that God would not love us unless we loved him through the WTS. But now we all know that he/she god/godess accepts us for who we are. One must not love an organization to be loved by a higher power.
Welcome to the board Lady!!!!
((((Cassie))))
The funny thing is that I would have never stayed with him if I had not learned about the Jehovah hates a divorcing thing. My gut feeling was to run the other way and I went against that to serve (or so I thought) God.
I don`t believe that I was bearing anything very well. I was reaching a breaking point, I guess I only knew that, and someone was going to get hurt. Had I gone back to him I would have made his life a living hell as he had done for me. Can you imagine that I went back to him and caused him some sort of grave injury. I would be a Jehovahs Witness in good standing sitting in jail, how could my daughters have lived with that?
You are right I gave too much of my life to that org.
witchywoman
{{{{{{WitchyWoman}}}}}}}}}
Thank you for your post. You have certainly endured much. You said of yourself as not being a fighter, I know you are refering to physical confrontations, but you are a great fighter for what you endured. It took alot of inner strength to go through what you did. Your story reminded me of my wifes story (tinkerbell4125). I admire people like you very much, and truly appreciate you sharing your experience with us all. CC
Thank you CC,
And yes you are right, I am not a physical fighter. As a youngster I saw how physical abuse was used to keep my mother in line and to solve problems with her. I always knew deep inside of me that if I ever had to be on the receiving end of that type of abuse that my promise to myself (even at so young of an age) that I would stop it in any way fashion or form that I had to, and I know I would not have stopped until I knew it was over. The repercussions for me (legally) would have been severe.
The elders did not seem to mind how much misery that I was in. It was a brand new cong. and my friend (jw still talking to me) said that they were probably ready to dsfp their first wrongdoer. Once it was over I never saw the 2 elders again, only the one that came to my motel room. He apologized (seemed sincere) and said that it would be announced at the next meeting.
witchywoman
witchwoman,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It hit home in so many way! I haven't posted my story, but after reading yours, I hope to be able to in hopes of helping someone else too.
I think there are so many stories out there like ours that are never told and that has never been heard!
I'm so happy that you have worked through alot of your issues and have finally started to find some sence of peace. I know how hard that can be, especially when you have family members still in the cult.
A big cyber hug to ya girl!!!
Tink =;o)
truly a sad life....hang in there.....i am thinking of you hugs...
Thank you Tinkerbell!
Thank you ugg, you are a sweetie! It was a long time ago.
witchywoman
Hello witchywoman,
I wanted to tell you how much your post touched me... That was an amazing email, and I am so glad you decided to post it! Thank you for sharing that.
My mother is going through the same thing as you, even disfellowshipped for sort of the same reason as you. But my sister is still cold-hearted in her total shunning of Mom. It has been about 3 years now, I think. They were very, very close before the DF. They did everything together, 'like sisters...'
My mother told me that she, like you, would not accept emotional blackmail. When I read that line in your email, I thought of my mom right away. (Mom, it you read this, I am sending you a mental hug all the way to Texas J )
One time my sister let her little girl visit my mom for part of an afternoon. My mom said it was very nice to see her granddaughter...but she had to not get 'too happy or too close' to the little girl, because she knew she would just be ripped from her life again. The sad part is, she was right. My sister felt 'guilty' for letting her 2 year old daughter visit and make cookies with grandma, and informed Mom it would never happen again, until she came 'back to Jehovah'.
Anyway, my mom doesn't read the board at this point, but I am going to send her a copy of this post and your other one about your letter to your sister. I know it will mean a lot to her to know she is not alone.
And Witchy, you ARE such a brave and strong woman! J (You are too, Mom! I hope you read this!)
Thank you,
-LisaBObeesa :)
I was supposed to post this on the "email to my daughter' thread, but this one is great, too!
Edited by - LisaBOBeesa on 6 August 2002 12:3:6
