ELDER'S WIVES AND CHILDREN

by minimus 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    Have you ever noticed how some elder's families are the worst example in the congregation? Some wives lord it over the rest and think they are special , while some kids get away with all sorts of things because of big daddy. Have you ever had a problem BECAUSE an elder's family got away with something and YOU got blamed for it? I knew of many cases where kids were smoking, drinking and committing all sorts of offenses and got out of it because who they were.

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    I'm glad that you said SOME, because not all elders kids get away with proverbial murder, nor are all elder's wives gossips who know everything that's going on.

    My mother was an elder's wife. My father never told anything he wasn't supposed to. In fact, she learnt more about goings-on in the congregation from others than from her elder-husband.

    My sister and I were elder's kids. We were under strict control, and were told to "be an example" for the other families to follow. We were not allowed to do many of the things other kids got to do, and I frequently got hidings for misbehavoiur.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
      "If we wanted sluts in our church, we'd be Catholic!"

      - Betty Bowers,
      Elder's Wife

    *** ok so betty's not exactly a witness, but close enough

    p.s. yes elder's kids do get away with murder. well, attempted murder at least. just ask my niece!

  • ugg
    ugg

    alot depends on the size of the congregation,,,,the number of elders,,,and even where the location

    of the kingdom hall of is,,,,what part of the country....ect ect....i am in a small congregation,,,,in a very

    small town,,,,rural country!!....yes,,,,i have seen the above....i have also seen the opposite,,,where

    elders wives and kids were scruntinized for every thing they did...it just depends on so many factors..... problems like that were very rare in my congregation........

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    We had the reverse problem ... my wife would not be at all the meetings because of depression and at times get criticized ... and my kids were judged extra hard because they were expected to be perfect ... and at times were accused of things they did not do ... and the moment I resigned as an Elder and our family was no longer as active, we were judged as a fallen family ... we could not win for losing.

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    My father was a devoted elder and never tolerated any nonsense from any of us four girls, we either towed the line or we were out on our asses. My mother has always been devoted to the truth and has never tolerated gossip in any form. In fact she is quite fanatical. Now that my father is dead since 1995 my mother is worse. But I can tell you that there are some elders with families who did think that they were better than everyone else. and their kids were brats. I know plenty true stories about many who misbehaved. I was afraid to misbehave my father would have killed me.

    It funny though today I wonder if I would have left the organization if my father was still alive. I still ask myself that question.

    Mind you many times my dad was angry with me for something or other. One day he was nice to me and other days he dispised me, and my mother too, they were impossible to please. My mother was worse and she still is. I haven't heard from her since I left and in Dec. 1999 and apparently I found out she has been in the hospital twice quite ill but no one in my family talks to me, so I found out just by chance.

    so yes there are some very strict elders and families who live to the letter of the society's rules and regulations. my family was living proof of it.

  • gwyneth
    gwyneth

    I agree about the scrutiny...I was an elder's daughter. When I was 16, a very close friend of mine who had left the org three years earlier called me out of the blue to tell me he was joining the Navy. As we were catching up, I told him with stars in my eyes (if he could have seen them) that I had my first kiss. He got angry with me and told me "But you're an elder's daughter!" At which point I was angry, because he'd left the org three years before and was still holding me up to JW standards, and because he thought that meant I shouldn't have a life.

    Was I a wild child? I was a model Dub until that first kiss, by a worldly boy no less, which led to sneaking out of my window at night to meet him on the golf course for more of that marvelous kissing...and then my mother read my diary. She found every detail of my nocturnal rendezvous (plural) and my father "stepped aside" because obviously he wasn't spending enough time raising us properly! All the other elders in our cong were grandfathers, so there weren't too many other elder's children. I guess we were just a disappointment.

  • minimus
    minimus

    seems like alot of elder's kids got crapped on.

  • Elders_Kid
    Elders_Kid
    seems like alot of elder's kids got crapped on

    Tell me about it.

    EK

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    I was an elder's daughter. I was expected to be perfect. I got in trouble fairly often. Dating worldly boys a couple of times, lying, then dating someone who was studying, "loose conduct" blah blah blah.

    But I saw plenty of other elder's kids/wives who did whatever they wanted. And they definitely thought they were something special. I was never accepted by anyone in any congregation, except for a couple of people. I had no friends, except for one woman older than my mum.

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