WholeWheat:
I understand your concerns about how some people adopt a 'no holds barred' type approach to posting. As usual, Hillary_Step gave a well-reasoned explanation and valid observations with regard to 'board life'. Of course in an ideal debating environment, there would be respect for each person even if there was not respect for each view. Name-calling, being verbally abusive to individuals, put-downs, and being generally provocative, is in my view rather childish, that is why I am wary of certain people here who appear to revel in being abusive. I have, of course, the option not converse with them. These people are time wasters. The worst are those who use 'hook and bait' techniques to draw you into endless discussions that lead nowhere. They do no good to their cause (whether pro- or anti- the society/JWs). In my experience these people inhabit all sorts of forums (not just religious). They are like a vindictive kid on the beach who comes along and kicks over another child's sandcastle. For what reason? It gives them a sense of power. I'm talking about personal attacks on individuals. Now you come across as being a reasonable, thinking person, and this is just the sort of person I and others are pleased to engage in conversation, even if we may strongly disagree with that other person's point of view on a certain matter.There are some online posters in various forums who claim to be active 'loyal' JWs (and we only have their word for it!), but display an aggressive and abusive nature. I wonder if they would be like this if they were actually talking face to face with the other person. Here I think is the key: It is the mode of communication which provides the temptation to be less than civil. It is the shielding from physical human confrontation that makes it so easy to abuse others with seeming impunity. Just like road rage, people who may ordinarily check their behaviour let go of restraint because their vehicles provide a protective enclosure and the mobility to 'escape'. I used to wonder how people who got drunk could become aggressive, because alcohol only makes me sleepy and more relaxed. It seems obvious to me that given the right conditions (i.e. no/few restraints) people will exhibit their true inner self.
People who verbally abuse others in cyberspace are not really the type of people I would want to talk to in real life, so why should I talk to them here? Don't be put off by those who have decided that its 'JW season' and that taking pot shots at JWs is therefore fair game. There are members here who, once they are satisfied that you are not out to 'get them', are more than willing to engage in meaningful and respectful discussions.
Lastly, however, I would repeat what other members have said, and which you need to keep in mind in order not to throw out the baby with the bath water. Many folk have legitimate cause for complaint about things that have happened to them that are directly related to living life as a JW. So don't be surprised when you see posts lampooning the society and jokes directed to those within the organisation who abuse their positions of authority over others. This is a non-personally abusive way of releasing righteous indignation, but it is not necessarily directed toward JWs in general. In my own case, my argument is with the society, not with individual JWs, many of whom (in my experience) are kind, pleasant people to know and fit in well with my value-system of concern and respect for others. I do appreciate there are congregations like yours where it appears one can freely discuss concerns about the society without fear of being labelled 'apostate' - but based on the experience of many JWs and XJWs they are the exception rather than the rule. I think it only proper that you should treasure your friendships with the loving brothers and sisters you have in your congregation.
Kind regards,
NW.