For My Dad.

by Englishman 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LovesDubs

  JW funerals are nothing more than Infomercials for the Society...taking advantage of grieving worldly relatives whom they know arent going anywhere and will sit there and listen to that hogwash. I posted this experience last July when it happened, but my dear friend who is DA'd as I am, her JW husband passed away of cancer and she had the funeral in a funeral home, but the husband chose a JW to do his "talk". The guy basically took the Society's outline and stuck the deceased's name in it all over the place to make it "seem" like he was talking about him specially when he wasnt. "...and J's FAVORITE scripture was the one about the preaching work... and J's OTHER favorite scripture was the one about the ressurection of the righteous ones to a paradise earth...and J would NEVER leave out the scripture about getting accurate knowledge of Jehovah..." it was sickening. He stated that only JWs are "qualified" to speak about God. That only by being a JW can you attain to this paradise. And he asked the JWs there "how did you treat 'ones'(I hate that term) when you came in here? Was it with love?" And then....

  When he finished he said the widow would like to say something...and there was a WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH as 60 JWs stood up en masse and WALKED OUT OF THE BUILDING! All she wanted to do was thank them for coming and thats the LOVE they showed to the deceased's nonJW family and his CHILDREN?? All of dads "FRIENDS" get up and desert them? I wanted to puke at that display of self righteousness. And they didnt LEAVE they all went just outside the windows and laughed and talked and patted each other on the back for their show of solidarity "for Jehovah".

  Ive never seen such a blazing display of hypocrisy in my entire life.

  My sincere condolences to the loss of your dad. My parents are gettnig up there too...Im not sure how I will be able to handle that loss, but there wont be any JWs there scorning my tears or pretending that they give a ___ that they died.

  Loves
  "My task is to bear witness to the truth. For this was I born for this I came into the world, and ALL who are not deaf to truth listen to my voice" - Jesus before Pilate, John 18:37
• 

  DoctorFeelgood

  Regardless of religious beliefs (or not). grief and sorrow are not weakneses, they are a natural part of recovery.

  Today, I attended the funeral of my late brother in law, who was 53. The service was in a church. A good part of the service, reflected on his life. Whilst there where many tears, the where also many smiles, as details of some of his worldly escapades where relayed to the congregation. I was looking after his little granddaughter Mia who is 2. To keep her amused, we quietly played games at the back of the church and had a lot of fun, which is the way he would have wanted it.

  Although he was never overly religious, his mother was. In his final days (he had terminal cancer), he asked his wife to make sure that the funeral service was held at his mothers church, because he knew it would make her happy. He had no time for self pity, he was more concerned about how his death would impact on loved ones. What a man.

  Whilst playing with Mia, it struck me, that as we grow up, there is a danger of us all taking ourselves far too seriously. Laughter, fun, happiness and love, are often lost during life's journey.

  So I hope that you all feelgood this wonderful day.

  Doc (happy he is at peace)
• 

  TR

  Englishman,

  I'm glad you stay in touch with your mom. It's one of those paradox's of the JW world. A non-JW showing compassion and love. Actually, I would rather leave the whole JW thing out of it. Just a sincere man having a loving and caring moment with his mom.

  TR
• 

  conflicted

  Englishman, I would like to send you and your mum my condolences, it is a special day - a day to remember that your father lived, and it's a good thing to mourn his passing.

  Frenchy, I was touched by your example of Jesus grieving for a loved one - I felt sad just reading the experience and it brought joy to my heart to know that this is normal and good.

  I once attended a funeral of a "worldly" person whose JW sister arranged for an elder to conduct the sevices. The sister was the ONLY member of that family who knew JW teachings - as a result the services were very distressing to the family, imagine how they felt when they heard:
  1) She isn't in heaven
  2) None of you will ever go to heaven
  3) She will return one day, but unless you change your ways you'll never see her again
  4) When you die there is no after life, just non-existence
  5) God only loves those who are JW's - you will all soon be destroyed

  This was how he conducted the funeral, I was the only other person in the room who knew what he was talking about, and even as a faithful witness I thought he was wrong to do this to a family who just lost a loved one - this is NOT the time to preach, it is a time to comfort, and JW's dont know how to do that for anyone else but themselves.

  larc, it was your post that urged me to relay this experience. I hope these examples are a comfort to those who have lost someone and weren't allowed to grieve - it's okay to feel sorrow, even years later.

  (no longer) conflicted
• 

  RedhorseWoman

  Englishman....****HUGS****

  Both my parents are gone now. Both had JW "memorial" services. Neither one was acknowledged as a person. I'm just glad that I was already inactive and didn't have to follow WT dictates.
• 

  philo

  ::Funerals are for the living loved ones of the deceased, not another opportunity for JW's to witness.

  That is so right. And the witneses have got it so wrong. You have brought to mind the funeral MEETING of my father's.

  Thanks for ther reminder, painful though it is.

  philo
• 

  Thirdson

  Englishman,

  I think what you do each year is very kind and makes a sad time better. There are so many warped ideas that Jw's have about remembrance, and the celebration of life that you help a great deal.

  I have yet to face the loss of my parents but even now they say odd things. My mom recently told my sister that she was not to inform her out-of-country relatives (me, and two nephews) of the death of either her or dad. Fortunately, firstsister refused to agree with the request and said all the relatives have the right to be told and the chance to attend funerals. Morbid as it sounds, I have contingency plans, money etc for emergency trans-Atlantic trips.

  Thirdson

  'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'