A Recovering JW

by mtwtf 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • mtwtf
    mtwtf

    A Recovering JW

    recovering

    Previously I have vented here about anomalies that stood out in WTS /JW.org literature and meetings. Today the anomalies keep coming, but they now leave me unruffled. I have changed. I now see myself as a recovering Jehovah’s Witness.

    Yes, I still feel the pull of years of intoxicating indoctrination and am learning that spiritual sobriety is not an easy path to follow. Daily challenges present themselves. The voice inside the head of a recovering witness tells him to continue the indoctrination, since it’s the only way with a future. Go to meetings, contribute, engage in field-service and most of all, listen and obey. Only then, according to WTS teaching, can anyone be happy – the entire world, so we are told, is actually unhappy, though the people don’t know it. Strange isn’t it?

    When a doubter tries to argue this with himself, the voice in his head floods his mind with guilt.

    change

    However, while individual change-of-heart and/or individual growth is anathema to the WTS / JW.Org, this religion nonetheless makes its own changes of metamorphic proportions. After laboring for years to change into something bigger, brighter, better, the WTS has finally been able to morph into JW.Org.

    Leaving its old WTS caterpillar-like shell behind and donning its new JW.Org garb, the ugly old WTS caterpillar presents itself to all and sundry as a modern, technologically savvy, but otherwise innocuous religious butterfly.

    The GB must hope and pray that all the natural predators that stalked the WTS caterpillar, will be thrown off scent by the new JW.Org regalia. The hope, as it flits from one doctrinal position to another – as butterflies flit between flowers – is to suck up financial nutriment at every point, unhindered by previous enemies.

    The big question is:

    Can the metamorphous from WTS to JW.Org assure the organization a safe and prosperous future?

    Maybe.

    Maybe not.

    language

    With all this going on, JW dubs must be puzzled as to which language to listen to. JW.Org’s verbal language, or JW.Org’s body language?

    JW.Org’s verbal language hasn’t changed over the past 100 years.

    The end is imminent – look at the state of the world.

    Don’t be distracted by chasing an education for yourself or your children?

    Don’t start a savings’ retirement plan, you will never need it.

    Don’t worry about health cover. Nobody will be ill in the new system.

    However, JW.Org’s body language says: ”implement your next 100 year plan today. Buy-up investment properties; build your most opulent mansions; employ the best available defense lawyers, tax avoidance accountants, strategic financial planners, property developers, political lobbyists, and so on”.

    This language conflict should confuse the average JW dub? Yet it doesn’t seem to. JW dubs see with absolute certainty, only those things they have been taught to wish for in the coming new order.

    Should we be optimistic that JW dubs will one day learn to read the body language?

    Maybe.

    Maybe not.

    prayer

    On the matter of hopes and prayers, millions of people now living and tens of millions of people no longer alive, have been misled by the WTS / JW.Org regarding what to hope and pray for. It is true, all churches mislead their parishioners on the matter of prayer, but not all boast they are God’s personal representative and that they alone have the truth.

    JW.Org has consistently taught that while God hears all prayers, he acts only in response to JW dub prayers. To be blunt, God never acts on behalf of prayers from Catholics or Born Agains, or for that matter, from anyone else, according to JW dub beliefs.

    However, what if you are a JW dub and you don’t get what you have prayed for? Dummy you! You have asked for the wrong thing. The problem is of your own making.

    So what sort of prayer should one make? From an objective standpoint, prayer can be categorized as:

    D.I.Y. Prayers

    (D.I.Y. has the same connotation here as in D.I.Y. home renovations.)

    This is a prayer where the successful execution of the prayer rests almost entirely in the hands of the one praying. As a result, Do-It-Yourself prayers have a higher success rate than Other Prayers. E.g.

    You pray to lose weight – the prayer will work only if you alter your diet (friends may give encouragement);

    You pray to stop smoking – the prayer will work only if you quit smoking (friends may give encouragement);

    You pray to find a parking bay at the mall – the prayer will work only if you keep circling the parking lot until a parking bay becomes vacant.

    Many examples come to mind.

    Other prayers

    This kind of prayer is one where the successful execution of the prayer does not rest in the hands of the one making the prayer. As a result this prayer invariably fails. E.g.

    A winter prayer for a clear sunny day – since the weather is out of your control, you might receive a thunderstorm;

    A prayer for a loved one not to die – since life and death are out of your control your loved ones will go the way of all flesh and eventually die;

    A prayer for your bitter enemy in the congregation to die – this won’t happen quickly either, unless you make it a D.I.Y. prayer! In this case, many friends would most likely offer help. (Just making a point. Do not try this at home.)

    reflection

    So, after a long and thorough search of the veracity of WTS / JW.Org teachings and doctrines, I find myself – somewhat like a person lost in a desert – back where I started.

    I’ve walked in circles. All I have found is that the millions of searchers before me have also wandered in the same circles, in the same sand, and none could find the “way” out. My paradox is summed up below:

    “Myself when young did eagerly frequent doctor and saint, and heard great argument about it and about: but evermore came out by the same door as in I went.”

    (Omar Khayyam)

    mtwtf

  • Jeannette
    Jeannette

    What a delightful read. Not that I can help you at all.

  • Tenacious
    Tenacious

    While I can sympathize with you and having to be right back where you started, the reality is much more sinister and twisted.

    Let me first explain why the push is now geared towards the younger generation, adolescents, the preteens, and teens. Considering the way things are shaping up with the generational teaching coming and going, the anointed number increasing, etc. The WTS is now trying to play catch-up with the technological advances, marketing, and the ever increasing independent thinking. The last Sunday talk I attended was all about parents and their children and how they should be respected, not spanked at the hall, yadadadada.

    The WTS is trying to indoctrinate the young as early as possible in an effort to stave off what is all but inevitable and that is a decline in membership due to the availability of information thanks largely in part to the proliferation of the internet.

    When I came into the WTS, I wasn't given a choice. I was brought up in it and expected to respect and obey my parent’s decisions. Recently I asked mom if she ever researched the WTS prior to accepting it as "truth." The answer was obvious, as she is also now doubting so much of the crap that comes out of Brooklyn. If you were born and brought up in the WTS then you were doomed from the start.

    The reality is that the GB is not in it for the money or accommodations. It's about power, prestige, and control. Their twisted logic is similar to that of the rich and wealthy and that is we, as mere servants, cannot be trusted to make good decisions of our own. Therefore, we need to relinquish our minds, thoughts, emotions, and decisions to them, the WTS, in order to be saved from the big 'A'.

    The power and prestige is more than intoxicating. To that end, they use it in congregations by continually applauding and announcing accomplishments. At assemblies and special meetings it's always about titles, titles, titles. Ever notice why the WTS finds it necessary to announce each speakers' CV before their speech? How about the announcement of anyone who is pioneering or has been approved to be a regular pioneer? How about those congregation party's for pioneers? The magazines, articles, books, talks, ministry school assignments, are all laden with loaded language, reverse psychology, and various other control techniques.

    When I found myself back at the realization that the WTS indeed had been teaching many Biblical truths, I had to ask myself the obvious question.

    Why does the WTS teach Biblical truths while corrupting and misinterpreting other scriptures?

    The means does not, I repeat, does not justify the ends. When an organization does not allow you to leave of your own volition, it becomes a cult.

    The WTS has become corrupted from within and while they may sincerely believe they are doing Jehovah's will, they are not.

    This is completely obvious from the snakes, abusers, and corrupt elders and appointed men that can be found in any of the over 111k congregations worldwide. Not to mention how they are blatant in their covering up for pedophiles all the while destroying evidence.

    You may think you are a recovering JW but in the reality is you find it difficult to accept what is plainly obvious. You are unable to function normally outside of the influence of the WTS. Seek professional help.

  • RecoveringISFJ
    RecoveringISFJ

    This is my first time posting.  i like what mtwtf said in this part,

    "Yes, I still feel the pull of years of intoxicating indoctrination and am learning that spiritual sobriety is not an easy path to follow. Daily challenges present themselves. The voice inside the head of a recovering witness tells him to continue the indoctrination, since it’s the only way with a future. Go to meetings, contribute, engage in field-service and most of all, listen and obey. Only then, according to WTS teaching, can anyone be happy – the entire world, so we are told, is actually unhappy, though the people don’t know it. Strange isn’t it?

    When a doubter tries to argue this with himself, the voice in his head floods his mind with guilt."

    I am currently going through a lot personally, which is making me question a lot of things in my life.  My world is upside down and trying to recover is hard.  I am glad you're at the point where you can now feel unruffled.  I don't know you or anyone else here personally, but reading some of the posts here I can definitely see the damage done to a lot of us through false hope.  And this new JW.org stuff, nothing about helping each other through the bible, just a lot of self advertisement.  Shepherd the flock, huh?  More like corral the flock where the are so tied up in a pen that they can't breath.  Reading that a lot of you were able to get past this gives me hope that myself and others can do the same, even though some old feelings still linger.  Thank you for your post, it is encouraging and reminds me and hopefully others, especially the lurkers (I was one too) that there is a future outside of the one we thought we knew.


  • 7Starz
    7Starz

    Synchronicity - the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.

    Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  Freedom.  It's funny how much you can take until something and someone(s) pushes you over the edge.  The edge you were told that leads to certain death, but instead you find freedom.

    Flight takes place, you grow wings and soar into the night that is suddenly as clear as day.

    Synchronicity is inevitable.  First time post, but long time reader.  Today I was going to speak about starting the long road of recovery from being a long time Jehovah's Witness and wouldn't you know, something similar was already posted.  It's amazing how we are so much alike in our thoughts.

    Thank you Ray Franz for opening my eyes and thanks to all of you for providing support, refreshment and laughs along the way.

    Looking forward to the adventure. 

     

  • truthseeker100
    truthseeker100
    Welcome 7Starz
  • truthseeker100
    truthseeker100

    7Starz

    Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  Freedom.  It's funny how much you can take until something and someone(s) pushes you over the edge.  The edge you were told that leads to certain death, but instead you find freedom.

    Nice first post learn to enjoy your freedom and revel in it,

  • 7Starz
    7Starz

    Thank you truthseeker100. 

    It brings to mind the fictional quote  made by actor Mel Gibson in the movie Braveheart when he portrayed the Scottish rebel leader William Wallace: 

    "Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you’ll live — at least a while. And, dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!"

    "Every man dies, not every man really lives."

    The days of being afraid and looking over my shoulder are now in the past.  It is time to really live "the real life."

  • truthseeker100
    truthseeker100
    Without giving out too many identifiable details can you tell us a little about yourself?
  • Simon
    Simon
    What a delightful read. Not that I can help you at all.

    Ditto - great to see so many people leaving and, well, not being a complete mess! I just wish I had been as reasoned and self-aware when I was waking up to it all.

    Welcome to the forum!

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