Elders, apostasy and disfellowshipping issue's - thoughts please

by FeelingFree 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • piztjw
    piztjw

    How do you avoid elders?

    The saying, "Fight fire with fire," comes to mind. Ignore them, the same way they ignore anyone who isn't of their elite appointed snob class.

  • SAHS
    SAHS

    There is never a “one-size-fits-all” answer to such a situation. It all really depends on you – how much you would care if you were actually to be disfellowshipped versus how important it is to you to take your stand against the WTS and let them know that they aren’t your boss anymore. Different strokes for different folks, really. As long as you consider the long-term consequences of your decision – which it looks like you already have – then all should be well, as it’s ultimately your decision and your life.

    I say, All the power to you whatever route you wish to take. Just get out one way or another, and whatever happens make sure you keep your dignity! Take care.

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    I relate to the curiosity. I have expressed myself to a few elders, in a very calculated way, and very matter of fact. Always within the parameters of what they are held to.

    So I have been able to get away with most. However......if someone really wanted to come after me I am sure I have put alittle too much out there. Fortunately.....I'm simply too much work. So I have my JW friends, I'm able to talk to them about things to varying degrees. I just had a good buddy of mine under a few beers, tell me he thinks its all hypocritical crap, but his wife couldn't bear shunning.....so they do a couple meetings a month.

    Crazy!

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Well... It all depends on your BOE and how good you are. By that I mean, do YOU know how to handle yourself, and are you armed with the WTBTS'S own information??

    I just had a long conversation with an Eldub about " where I'm at" in my "spirituality", yadda-yadda. I told the truth. I said that I don't have all the answers, but neither do the GB. I then quoted WT articles about the WT magazine not being infallible or inspired. I even said that calling me or anyone else an apostate, because we disagree with fallible humans, is ludicrous!

    He agreed that it would be unloving to do that. What else could he say? Especially since I knew all the nu-light before it was announced at the AGM! He knows that I have doubts, even so, he is trying to be patient and loving. What else can he do?? His hands are tied! Unless I cause divisions or publicly say the FDS is not the channel of God, he can't do anything except wish me well!! He has to "wait on JEHOVAH!" LOL!!!

    They are so confused on a subconscious level, that you merely need to steer the conversation. They will usually stop short of blatantly contradicting themselves, and many times it works out in your favor. I finally said that if I knew any nu-light that I would keep it to myself as usual. After all, even Jesus kept some info from the flock because they couldn't handle it! "YES!!", he said, "What a fine example to follow!"

    I even said that if JEHOVAH allowed the FDS to teach something incorrect for 80+ years, then I had no need to worry, obviously JEHOVAH will work it out. Heck, we don't even need all the answers right now!! He agreed whole- heartedly!! He said that JEHOVAH is blessing the ORG, and that by and large, we are better than Christendom! I said that " apostasy" cannot just be KNOWING a current idea is wrong, otherwise we could NEVER have nu-light!!! Imagine the GB DF'ing one another the moment a teaching was questioned! He said," that would never happen!!"

    He tried to steer the conversation by saying that WHO questioned was important, as if ONLY the FDS could question. I was having none of that! I said that we all have a god-given power of reason, not just the GB. Then he said that we can't cause divisions! Then I said that "correct teachings of truth" shouldn't cause divisions, but should unite people! Then he said the sheep are immature, and can't handle too many ideas! I agreed!! LOL!!

    Its all about keeping your wits about you. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT recommending this course of action. I screwed up and made a target of myself. It would have been better if I just faded away as a weak sheep. Even so, if you know your stuff and are not afraid, you can hold your own with these guys. The burden of proof is on them! I even used their own fear of God against them! I said that if they judge me as an "apostate" without just cause, THEY would stand before JESUS for their wrongdoing!! So, there you have it. Just be careful. Decide what you want before engaging them.

    You can't win them over, they are gone. You can use their own cognitive dissonance to get them off your back. Call it theocratic warfare!! They lie in court, so give 'em hell!!

    DD

  • steve2
    steve2

    sorry feelingfree for the bluntness of my response and especially for saying you are not above being disfellowshipped. My bad!

    The aspect of my response I'd stick to is not handing them anything that will "legitimize" their acts of of shunning. A trap awaits anyone who concludes that when JWs earnestly ask what you think, they are ever genuinely interested and respectful in their listening.

  • Ajax
    Ajax

    Folks living in countries where freedom of religion is a right, have a huge advantage.

    YOU get to chose when you leave, change or abandon ANY religious affiliation.

    Walk out the door, never to return, and write down the date YOU left. Take a picture with that days newspaper as evidence.

    You are now FREE from that day forward. That's freedom of religion.

    Jump ahead a week , months or even years until a silly little cult of some sort dares to discipline or chastise you, or make an example of you by mentioning your name from a public platform, or interfere in any respect with your freedom of expression, or association or granted liberties. THEY are violating your civil libertys as a person who chose to be free from their influence.

    Never entertain their delusion that they have any power whatsoever because legally they have none.

  • silent
    silent

    The bottom line is this: If you talk, you give them proof and thereby a justification to DF you. There is NO amount of love bombing, kind words, double-talk, etc. that will change this...PERIOD! As long as you stay vague, disappear, fade, keep a smile on your face and friendly with them when you see them, you at least cast doubt on your reasons why you left. As long as you stay in this state, you're fine. There is no other way.

  • Zordino
    Zordino

    Its only a matter of time before they start shunning/DF'ing the Fader's aswell.

    My advise....... What Crazy guy said!

  • Comatose
    Comatose

    DO NOT talk to elders. If you are forced into it, be prepared to lie effortlessly. These turds do not warrant your talking to them.

  • ThomasCovenant
    ThomasCovenant

    ''I also said if the elders knew all my reasons for leaving they would view me as an apostate and I would get disfellowshipped. Her reaction to this was that I was very judgmental and of course they wouldn't think that at all!''

    If she feels so strongly that the elders wouldn't think that, ask her if she'd be willing to legally sign over the deeds to her home to you if they did, in fact, think that.

    Then hold her to it.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit