by SpeedRacer 68 Replies latest jw friends
I was lightly beaten if you can call it that. The typical bumping arms and fighting over an armrest was enough for all four of us to form a swat line on the couch at home after the meeting. They would never do it at the hall but we knew we were toast when we got home.
Thanks everyonel for the posts. I find your comments are amazing. I wish now looking back, I had broken the cycle.
Speedracer
Ditto Cofty! Your doing nothing more then causing pain in a child to get what you want. Or even worse your pissed off when you do it. There are way better ways of dealing with a children.
I remember my folks used to make us put our nose in the corner. As in touching the corner or they would draw a circle on the wall and make us put our noses on it. Hated that worse then spanking when you had to spend 30 minutes with your back aching. But then again if we didnt keep our noses on the spot we got a whipping.
Speedracer
Rebel8,
thanks for your comments. I am one who received spankings as a child and I do not have rancor or criticism for the parent who spanked. On the other hand, the punishment I received from the other parent has hurt to this day.
I was the second oldest of (eventually) nine children. Obviously there were years when there were fewer children. My parents--but especially my father-- explained right and wrong behavior and how to assess the value of my actions. He was a soldier. Tough but fair was how another man measured him.
Dad was remarkably ethical in many difficult situations that I witnessed growing up. He had the challenge any man or woman who went to work and came home with to-do lists and a growing family and a spouse and the need for a little space of his own. His word was valued in the home. We generally did as we were told. He would fire "a shot across the bow" before a spanking occurred. When it came, we knew we had engaged his superior force by choice. Although I was slapped once without warning when I made a sneering remark to him as a sassy 11 year old. I was embarrassed to think I had been so disrespectful to him. In retrospect, he might have sat me down and talked to me about my behavior and I would have been just as ashamed. But there were 7 kids in the family so I will not fault him for his flash response in the thick of it all. I have no scars from any of his words or actions toward me -not mentally or physically.
My mother didn't spank us really. We were harangued--In fact,(and this will sound bad to some), when dad would be near enough to hear the bedlam, he might sort it out, saying as he did at times: "Reason, sweet reason, Joanne--hit them!"
Poor mom. There was a bit of anarchy in the house when dad was gone. It is difficult to manage a mob like we were. But it was mostly when the population grew and we older children were getting to be in our teens that her way of dealing with discipline or instruction was troubling. She had words that would demean and humiliate that were not instructive. Her words would cut your hope of ever measuring up.
there is what i have to add.
Maeve
Jgnat,
Wow what a great idea. Showed my JW coworker and he was impressed. Love to bottle !
Speedracer
This is one of the statements and arguments my JW coworker came up with. Look how the children of the world are growing up and how much trouble they get into because of lack of discipline and spanking. The bible says........
It has been my experience while visiting my boys in school that the kids are very well behaved. Sitting in the cafeteria you could hear nothing but whispers and munching. I remember lunch a little bit differently in my day. It was pretty wild.
Speedracer
If you have to hit a child who is older then 5 or 6 you've lost the race.
Under that age a swat on the butt if they have put themselves in danger and or firm words about what they were doing wrong should suffice.
At a certain age you have to encourage them to 'argue their case' if they want to go somewhere or do something that you'r not sure about. If you let them win on occasion they will be encouraged to think through something before they come to you.
Getting them to think is more important then applying pain to their bodies.
Being out of the religion changed my viewpoint. NO SPANKING. Hitting is wrong
When you swat at a child and he immediately strikes back, that is a direct response to your use of force.
Regarding running into traffic, retrieving the child from danger, holding them tightly while forcing them to look at you and telling them, "No! The street is dangerous!" and allowing them to hear the urgency in your voice is just as effective and teaches them the reason why.
Why are parents allowing their children to be so close to the street, anyhow? Aren't they supervising? I once had my 3 year old go to step off the curb at a shopping center while we were heading back to our car just a split second before me when a car came speeding around the corner. I grabbed him by the hood of his winter coat and yanked him up to safety while his little feet were still walking in the air! A stern, "No!" and hearing the fear in my voice and seeing the fear in my eyes was better than what any spanking could have done.
In my country is simply not an option because it is illegal... and never got spanked as a JW child in the 70s and never spanked my children as a witness parent either
Ask the JW the next time you see him/her:
"I've been thinking about this discipline situation. I asked myself, 'Would Jesus hit my child; or is there a kinder more loving way?' And you know
what else? I thought of the parable about the shepherd who went after the stray sheep. He brought it back to the flock cradled in his arms. Didn't Jesus say: 'Feed my sheep?' Feeding is kindness, reasoning is kindness, but the Old Testament rod of discipline is too much like ISLAM. It is old world cruelty. I think I've learned something important about how Jehovah's Witnesses think from you. If you were more like Jesus, you'd be Jesus' Witnesses, wouldnt you?"
