Hubby's tempted to go back

by jgnat 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • Captain Obvious
    Captain Obvious

    I think Aunt Fancy is on to something. The ONLY thing that really helps an ex-JW drop the feelings of guilt is to do more research. It's ok that he feels and doesn't think, let him read about the needless hurt and pain the WT has caused people. Let him read at least the part of CoC that talks about the Mexico/Malawi deal. Only a cold hearted bastard couldn't be moved by that.

    This brings out a very important point for all of us with loved ones still in. If they just happen to quit meetings, fade away without doing their proper research and finding solid ground for their doubts and issues... They are easily dragged back either by "encouragement" (guilt) from family/friends or by something they see in world events that makes them panick. Look at how much the meeting attendance and baptisms spiked in the year following 9/11.

    When we want someone out, we can't be happy simply to see them quit going to meetings. Brain washing goes MUCH deeper than that, and can be re-ignited anytime.

  • Ruby456
    Ruby456

    thank you capt.

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    Maybe you should both sit down together and watch the Samuel Herd video on women and headship .

    Then ask him what his thoughts are about it .

    Then ask him how he see`s you in that video .

    Then maybe ask him , who is the head of our household ? You , the husband ? me , the wife ? or some stangers we have never met and call themselves the Governing Body.

    smiddy

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    It doesn't matter how much someone enjoys the freedom of being out, a person who is physically out but mentally still in is a walking time bomb. Has he read Combatting Cult Mind Control?

  • rjharris
    rjharris

    One should never be made to feel so uncomfortable so as to "dodge and weave" from fellow Witnesses or to be made to feel "guilty." This shows a person still in fear of men and "in captivity" to an organization. This is not the freedom The Master spoke of. (John 8:31-32)

    While I cannot speak for the husband, why not ascertain who he feels that he should be in service to: An organization or Christ.

    Ascertain who it is he is to listen to: An organization or Christ. (Luke 9:35)

    It might help if it is explained to him that taking upon himself a name not belonging to our "Owner" (Christ) makes him an adulterer. Permit me to explain this (Married persons can appreciate this):

    If a man and woman marry, the woman takes the surname of the husband. This marks or identifies her as belonging to him. If the married woman takes upon herself another name (other than that of her husband), she commits adultery in the since she has identified herself with another man.

    Likewise, if anyone claims to be attached, membered, or "married" to Christ, they take his name upon themselves and no other. What name is that? Is it Jehovah's Witness, Mormon, Catholic, Seventh Day Adventist, Lutheran, Methodist, etc? No, none of these names belong to Christ. Taking such names identify the person as being attached to or membered (married) to those "organizations." So what is the name Christ would give his followers?

    "Disciples." No more and no less. We are to be "His Disciples." Drop all of the fancy names.

    Read John 8:31-32 and Matthew 28:19-20. Then read what Jesus said below at John 13:34-35:

    "I am giving YOU a new commandment, that YOU love one another; just as I have loved YOU, that YOU also love one another. By this all will know that YOU are my disciples, if YOU have love among yourselves."

    Notice that we are to be known simply as his "disciples."

    The many fancy names and divisive titles today are man-made and belong to men. True followers of Christ should cast them off. Even the expression "Christian" is man-made. In fact, it was the first "title" assigned "to" disciples of Christ by non-followers. Jesus never referred to himself as a Christian; he never referred to his disciples as Christians; ans his disciples never referred to each other by that title either.

    The bottom line here is that one should not go back or "go INTO" something such as a religious organization as Christ does not exist within any of them. That would be confining. No! Christ exists "WITHOUT" of them. Notice what the Apostle Paul says at Hebrew 13:13-14:

    "Let us, then, go forth to him outside the camp, bearing the reproach he bore, for we do not have here a city that continues, but we are earnestly seeking the one to come."

    A "camp" or a "city" is a place of organization as opposed to a wilderness that is desolate and barren.

    Notice where Christs disciples are to go: Outside the camp. Why? Because that is where Christ is.

    Too, notice that disciples of Christ have "no organization" or "city" to go INTO at present, but we earnestly seek the one to come.

    I am convinced that the entire world has been grossly misled concerning God and Christ and it is an impostor that has misled the world. This impostor has a name. It is called "Christianity." The Master foretold its coming. Jesus said it would come on the basis of "his name" truthfully proclaiming that he is "the Christ" but would mislead many. Notice what Jesus says at Matthew 24:4-5:

    "Look out that nobody misleads YOU; for many will come on the basis of my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will mislead many."

    Christianity has over 41000 contending denominations. This is the many.

    R. Jerome Harris
    e-Prophetic.com

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    He has considered if asked if the enquirer might hold his hand for a couple months until he gets back in to his groove. That might drive away the Witnesses faster than anything.

    Or it may backfire and somebody will 'disciple' him until he's back and committed again. Bad idea!

    What exactly does he feel guilty about?

    Is it that his KH friends miss him and the only time they would see him and catch up is at the meetings - he feels bad that they miss him? (I.e. he's hurting his friends.)*

    Is it that meetings are communal worship and he feels he's missing out or shortchanging God by not going? (I.e. he's hurting God.)

    Is it just a vague, 'superstitious' feeling that stems from having Heb. 10:24, 25 drilled into him for so long? (I.e. he's hurting the Org.)

    Or a mix of all three?

    If he identifies what, exactly, is triggering his guilt, you can both work on neutralizing it.

    -----

    * That's a pull with me. Recently two very nice JWs from our Hall dropped by after their FS. We get on with them, have some laughs, but they said they missed us and please come back - 'you know it's the Truth' etc. It was hard to keep our lips buttoned. While we were pleased to see them, naturally we do not want to have to sit through nearly 2 hours of irritation twice a week so that we can see each other. Nevertheless, the emotional tugs, the faint stirrings of guilt, did try to surface.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    He thinks the Witness routine is the right way to live. He just can't bear to do it. I don't think he could finish any book that wasn't studied a chapter at a time. I think I can give him snippets though. Blondie you are right about him needing the final revelation. Good thoughts all except for r j Harris.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    . . . it was not the truth but I missed my friends. ~ Paul/JWFacts

    You can criticize and say they are "conditional" friends. It's true. But they are loyal friends as long as you meet the conditions. In general, [new] friends are hard to come by.

    Doc

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Paint-by-number friendships.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Questions to ask him:

    If this is "The Truth", why is it so hard to go back? He is a good person, so why would God make it so difficult, the bible says that those earnestly seeking him will find him.

    The Watchtower teaches that the kingdom hall is a spiritual paradise. If this is so, why does he not enjoy it? Why are so many JWs unhappy. Why is there so much gossip and back biting?

    If the preaching work is so important, why is it so spectacularly imperative (6,00 hours four one convert)

    Answers to give JWs who are nosy

    I am not sure that it's any of your business

    I have been just too discouraged to go to meetings since I heard about the overlapping generations, it just doesn't make sense.

    I have been reading the bible and finding things that make me feel it's just a collection of stories.

    I am on a sabbatical.

    I have been too busy, you know how it is, but maybe next month.

    I am working on it.

    I stopped going because the voices told me to.

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