I'm talking like makes you physically sick and emotionally frazzled just thinking about it. I'm talking like you hate it to the point you'd rather go without than work at it just for the money. You'd live on cheap Korean packet noodles for the next year instead of exchanging your labor for this job's money.
Well, this is how I feel about teaching and tutoring. It makes me curl up in a ball in a dark room. I've been working in tourism but the season is over and there's no more work. I've been applying for admin jobs, which is another industry in which I have skills as well as customer service type roles. I get the odd interview or two each week, but nothing yet. There is so little reputable work in my city it's ridiculous, and the listings shrink every day.
So I keep tutoring as it's my most marketable skill, but I hate, hate, hate teaching of all types with a deep loathing and want to get out of it so badly I even considered door to door sales (13years a jw publisher certainly qualifies me!). Of course I won't do it, cuz I hate that too, and anything jw -like repulses me. Now, we have some savings in the bank, enough for me to live off til the tourism season picks up. People tell me however that I should just suck it up and keep teaching. They just don't understand how detrimental it is for my health though, and how much I feel like I'm walking to my own funeral when I walk into a student's house or classroom full of kids. What to do!
It's a nasty cycle. Teaching makes me depressed (clinically; have all the Dr reports) and when I'm depressed I find it hard to focus on my book or art or even more studies, things that may get me out of this rut. Yet when I'm not teaching I'm looking for other work. Not difficult work, but middling type of work. I believe certain work is beneath me, like anything jw-like. I also have a chronic condition meaning a lot of physical work is off limits.
Has anyone here ever been in such a bind? What to do?
