I sat down one day and composed a letter telling of all my woes and medical problems. I too was very busy in the cong and circuit. I got a call from the co telling me how bad he felt and could he help in any way. I explained my situation and it was accepted. It has been years now and I hardly attend but must stay around for family sake. I do not want to lose them right now. Just keep reiterating the sickness issue and that you are tired out. I am sure that they will buy it and just keep your head down and all will work out and you can do whatever you want. And enjoy the real life without that baloney hanging over your head. If you have been here any time at all you already know that the whole religion is BS.
Your Experience with Resigning as an Elder
by committeechairman 69 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
designs
Your star will definetly fade- you may be able to be a Wt. reader on Sunday if the guys still like you.
Good luck.
-
GoUnion
I can see how you would want to stay an elder if you wanted some inside information to pass on maybe? Personall i couldn't do it, the demands on your time just to do the minimum can have an adverse effect on your health and time never mind the time spent doing elder stuff.
curious how you can sit on a jc and at the same time not believe in the doctrines.
-
piztjw
While I was not an elder, I was "reaching out" at a point in the past.
When I woke up to TTATT and decided that there was way to much nepotism and hypocrisy on the part of the majority of elders and ministerial servants in the congregation I wrote a several page letter detailing what the singular main incident was that opened my eyes. As part of that letter I informed the BOE that I would no longer be "reaching out". The following words are taken directly from my filed copy of that letter, and perhaps they will be of some measure of help.
"In view of this apparent ongoing situation, and in light of a number of personal observations voiced to me by some of the elders I find it necessary to respectfully request that I no longer be assigned, and inform you that I will not accept for the time being, any assignments customarily reserved for brothers only."
Since that time, while I still attend meetings for the sake of family members, I have quit having literal headaches, upset stomach, shakes, sweats etc. prior to and after meetings. It has been a wonderful benefit to my emotional and physical health to have quit running on the hamster wheel.
-
traveb
Resigning as an MS was one of the best decisions I ever made. I had tons of responsibilities and was obviously being groomed as an elder. There was no way I would be able to handle that amount of unpaid work. When it comes down to it, that's what "privileges" are - unpaid work for a magazine publishing & real estate holding company. Once you realize all you are doing is equivalent to:
Running on a treadmill
Keeping busy with busy work
Spinning along in a hamster wheel
Then it becomes so easy to drop all that nonsense. At first, it may be difficult to stop caring about what other JWs think of you. We all know that "keeping up appearances" is the most important think for JWs. Once you get over that mindset, it is so unbelievably freeing! You can finally do what's best for you and your family, and start enjoying life again.
-
Simon Templar
I served for decades. I am still in. My experiences are as follows:
1. I was doing the TMS, on Judicial Committees, Circuit Assignments, etc. I gave hundreds of talks/parts, etc over the years. I became legitimately sick due to the stress of the work and aging. I told the BOE. They asked me to stay. I said, Okay but I cant do anything for a period of time. I have to catch my breath. They agreed. At the next Meeting I was asked to do a part on short notice. So much for BOE sympathy.
2. I decided to move my residence to a new town, house, etc. I moved with a good letter of recommendation. I told the Presiding Overseer I would not be serving in the new Congregation for health reasons (legitimate). My wife was good with it. He still doesn't talk to me (I really dont care). I am still there, and the freedom is liberating and recuperative to say the least. The rest of the BOE and the Cong are good to us. All is fine.
3. I can keep going to Meetings/CA/SAD/DC and in service under this arrangement. I just sit there and watch, comment once in a while that's it. I am not in the TMS (what's the point?). No jobs to do, responsibility, COs to deal with, problems to handle. Very comfortable.
4. The various COs try and talk to me to reinlist me, but I slip out the back door quickly enough.
My suggestion is do what is best for you and your family. Just make sure your wife is in agreement with it and can handle it. If you decide to withdraw she may get emotional when the announcement is made. Measure twice and cut once. Once you cut this role out of your life, and if decide you want to do it again, it may take a long while for it to happen.
-
Aunt Fancy
My husband was an elder for many years and he stepped down. He was very involved in the RBC and he had many responsibilities and was always the one the COBE went to and eventually it wore him down. I will never forget the night they announced he was no longer an elder because they should have said he was DF! It was awful the way we were treated at first. He was asked many times to become an elder again and they always said they needed him but he would never do it again. He did not like the things that went on behind closed doors and when he found out the real truth about the WTS then he understood why he felt that way.
Your health and family are more important than being a slave to the WTS. If you are feeling this way you should step down because losing your health is not worth it.
Our experience in this area is that there are very few new elders being appointed so the ones who are in the position now are overworked. Hang in there and do what is right for you and your family, just be prepared to be treated differently.
-
sparrowdown
So do you still believe the GB are the FDS?
Do you still believe the WT interpretation of the Bible to be the only correct one?
Do you still agree with WT rules?
Does the thought of being "persona non grata " if you step down worry you?
How many disfellowshippings have you been responsible for?
-
DesirousOfChange
I cited family responsibilities.
The elder(s) who were my friends, still are.
The flock was sympathetic and understanding and encouraging.
It's been a gradual fade, including changing congregations a couple times.
Now we're mostly just seen as "inactive" and "weak".
Doc
-
L3G
Simon Templar offers good advice, including the part about your wife.
You also need to ask yourself whether you can operate out of the driver's seat, as a lowly publisher. I've seen bros. step down or be removed and just crawl up and become shells. Are you prepared for the radical change? If you've put all your eggs in one basket, that of being an elder, will you be able to find other things to satisfy your needs, like real study and really taking care of family members?
Whatever you do, I wish you succcess.