drunken thread about my niece's JW wedding , my non jw sister and gay nephew impressions,
by Miss.Fit 16 Replies latest jw experiences
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Miss.Fit
Okay bear with me here. After the wedding we went to the bar twice. Once before the reception and then afterwards. Forgive any typos. It took me 3tries just to get the op.
Recap: my middle sis LL and her family are practicing JWs . My little s is LS and her family are not. My family...2 daughters and a son and a jnon jw husband are not. I am mostly physically out and working on the mental part.
LL's daughter C had her wedding tonight. It was not at a KH but a brother who was accually C's grandpa gave the wedding talk and performed the ceromony. He used the standard marriage outline.
My little s is and nephew J mentioned afterwards how uncomfortable they were during the wedding talk. My little s is turned to me and asked why do JWs hhave to turn everything into a sermon. She and her son were kind of twitchy through the whole ceromony. I think they were trying to resist the urge to flee. During the prayer I kept my eyes open and saw her discomfort. I patted her arm in sympathy.
The prayer was long and another sermon. The groom's mother had died a few months ago. The prayer brother brought her up and mentioned how we were looking forward to the reserection. Blah blah.
More to follow. I'll get to the drunk part in my next post. It was hilarious. I'll tell you all about the corruption of JW WP.
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Miss.Fit
Okay...more background: I attended the wedding with my 2 legal aged beautiful daughters.
My niece C originally told her mom that they were only going to invite JWs and so she wasn't going to invite nonjw aunt LS and family. C's mom LL told her she could not do that. She did not want to be put in that position so that's how sister LS and nephewJ came to be invited.
Now to the wedding: my sisLL mother of the bride and closet alkie (I love her to death but just stating common knowledge) started "self medicating" well before the wedding. She was a nervous wreck and 30 min.late . Wedding was held up waiting for her. Aparrently the invitations said 4:00 but her daughter told people, 4:30. Mysis LS and J had spent all day yesterday and today helping LL get ready and decorating the site.
So I guess they were not good enough to invite at first but okay to do all the work.
They did a great job btw. The ceromony and reception were held in the motel. For some reason alcohal was not allowed in the actual reception but you could go to the bar to drink....which is what we did.
Little s is took my daughters and I to the motel's bar. We had not eaten all day.
We ordered some food and drinks. We started talking about the wedding and she mentioned how preachy it was. I opened my mouth and mentioned how the prayer was like another sermon. Then I looked at her and said maybe it was just me but I didn't think it was appropriate to mention so dead woman in the middle of a wedding ceromony. (Btw if he was going to mention the grooms dead mom i think he dhould have mentioned the bride's brother who died last year. But I didn't say that part.)
My little sis looked at me with her mouth open in shock and started to laugh and say I think we should get you another drink!
My s is LS said jws weddings are so strange. I told her at the reception what a loving sister she was to come to an event where she obviously felt uncomfortabe to support her sister. I wanted her to know I understood it was difficult for her and acknowledge it. I don't think I would have understood myself if it weren't for the posts on this board.
I know she doesn't agree with most of jws teaching but put her feelings aside. How many jws would do that?
We noticed a young man(okay my daughter noticed him) and asked about him. I was curious because he had a nicely groomed beard. I told s is LS that he probably wasn't considered very spiritually strong because he had a beard. She thought I was joking. His name was W. And I found out later he was studying to be a nurse.
He and his family are cousins from s is LL husbands side.
Actually both the mom and dad are cousins. Am to drunk to explain now.
We invited W for drinks. We had a blast. He was hilarious.
More on that later.
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Fernando
Was your nephew a JW before?
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Miss.Fit
So the interesting was watching jw logic in action.
Now I don't know if W(aka good looking 22 yo nurse student with great beard ...my daughters' opinion) was pulling our leg, but he was telling us how he had already been in several motel rooms drinking. Apparently since you couldn't bring drinks into the reception room, some of the wedding guests moved the party to the motel rooms...I guess they brought their own liquor?
Anyway he mentioned that he just turned 22 the previous day.
My nephew told him happy birthday let me buy you some shots. My Nonjw sister kept hissing a cross the table: J they don't celebrate birthdays!! The birthday boy looked up like oh yeah I forgot. I told my sis.. he's already half assed drunk I'm sure accepting 1 happy birthday wish will be the least of his sins tonight.
So he accepted the shot. Then nephew clinked his shot glass in a toast. W the bearded JW - said something about toasting being a pagan costum. little sis and son looked at him in disbelief. My smart daughter said if you want to talk pagan what about the wedding ring?
The bearded jw laughed and said I know right..I always wondered about that.
Here is a hilarious mental picture: a drunk off his ass jw attempting to witness and defend the wedding talk about submission,( something my nephew mentioned he found offensive)
We closed the bar down. Of course we all were witty and clever.
I am interested to see how interesting and funny bearded jw is sober.
Last I saw of him he and my nephew were looking for another bar to close down. Bearded jw had told my nephew that this is the most he had ever drank. And nephew told him he wanted to really get him fd up.
I was a little concerned because nephew is 26 and had more exprerince getting f up ed and can handle it. I took jw aside told him to be safe and to remember its okay to say no if he felt he had enough. He accused me of being incredably patronising. Then I felt bad.
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Band on the Run
Oh, it is so fun to drink. Hangovers are not fun. Maybe the sermon drove the guests to drink more. I only attended the JW weddings of my two female cousins. K, was sixteen and pregnant by the 36 year old groom. No JC. Baby came way too early to be a preemie. K. was still sewing a simple sheath that made her look as though she were 30. My mom let me wear my white lace junior high school graduation dress. I was the bridal looking person in the small crowd in the backyard. I saw the wedding gifts. All were emblems of gross housekeeping. Oh, the fuss made over a cheap iron. If getting married involved ironing clothes, I vowed to be celibate.
The other wedding was much nicer. It was at the KH. Knocked up bridge of 18 but to a 19 year old groom. No JC. Baby arrived a bit too early. This cousin's mother took her to a sample wedding dress shop. She had a normal bridal gown that was exquisite. Slightly more sophisticated wedding gifts of domesticity. I believe there was even some dancing. Square dancing.
Both brides had strong JW elders leave the family as in abandonment. No forwarding address. No child support checks. The first wedding was so depressing. I wanted to tear out the groom's eyes. He was Daddy to the rescue. Everyone thought the age difference was obscene - except for the JWs.s My cousin was very smart. He was a recent convert. She had bloodlines back to Russell. Someone made a remark how she could help groom with his public talks. I wanted to pick up the frying pan gift and bang the person over the head. She could have been President of the Society -if women were not garbage. In both weddings, the wedding talk person said inappropriate things, given the circumstances. Chasteness was emphasized. Fathers were mentioned. I was in tears thinking of how my uncles just walked out. It was a fresh event, not 20 years before.
I think my mom went to a bar afterwards. Child bridge made her love child wear dresses to below her knees when she was a toddler. Groom died. She had great trouble coping b/c he treated her as a child, which she could have been. Oh, I relished freedom those days. Beatles, Yes. Woodstock. Yes. Village Voice, Yes. Bought own domestic appliances.
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Oubliette
why do JWs hhave to turn everything into a sermon?
Because it's all about them. It is a very narcissistic religion actually.
Read about narcissistic personality disorder and you'll see that it describes the JW cult leadership perfectly!
Here's an excerpt from the Mayo clinic website's definition:
- Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism. - [Emphasis added]
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Vidiot
Miss.Fit - "So the interesting thing was watching JW logic in action."
JW logic is a thing? When did this happen?
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PaintedToeNail
The last JW wedding I went to was for family. My kids and I cringed everytime they mentioned the headship thing, and how wives should be submissive. My son was pissed and felt it was truly painful to witness.
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Miss.Fit
Fernando: no my nephew J is not a jw. The jw. with the beard is. I could be very wrong but there seemed like some chemistry going on. But jw with a beard is very funny and I had a hard time telling when he was serious or just pulling our leg. He let nephew know he could tell that my nephew was gay.
Band: I remember when I was a preteen assuming that when you hit 18 it meant marraige time. There were several girls who got married at 18. We had a young couple move next door. My elder dad would be constantly refereeing them because they were having trouble adjusting to marriage.
My niece however is 26 when she got married and her husband was married before.
Obliette: thanks for the link. I know as a born in we were taught to do put the org. first and take every opportunity to "witness" that our whole life should bring honor and a witness to Jehovah. I always accepted it as normal way to bring "honor " to Jehovah. It is just recently that I realized how unnatural it really is. My nephew also mentioned the memorial service for the bride's brother a year ago. He said it really upset him the way jws used it to promote their religon instead of focasing on his life.
Vidiot: lol.. I was posting with my tougue firmly in my cheek."logic".
PaintedTN : that was the exact reaction my little nonjw sister and nephew reacted. The drunk jw tried to explain that submission really only meant respect. Nephew was not buying it. I was just sitting back watching the train wreck. The jw was really out of his element. I really liked him though. It ddnr seem like the typical jw but I couldn' t tell if that was because he wasn' t sober.
My daughters and my sisters really liked him. My nephew was totally flabergasted...he didn't know what to make of him. One minute he was defending the jws and the next minute he was telling us outlandish tales that had my nephew shaking his head in disbelief.
He was telling us how he would just go up to strangers and interact with them:
JW W " this guy pulled Spencer aside and asked if he had some" product " .
Nephew:wait- is Spenser one of the wedding guests?
JW: no he was with a group of kids I met playing hacky sack.
Nephew: you approached complete strangers ? Why?
JW: I wanted to play hacky sack.
Nephew : Who was the guy with Spenser? Did you know him?
JW:( shrug). Nope , he told Spencer to meet him in the alley behind the motel. He said he would be wearing a trench coat.
Nephew: well did you leave?
JW: no, I wanted to play hacky sac.
Nephew: ( face palm). You approached a bunch of guys you did not know, witnessed a drug deal and stayed around to play hakey sac?
JW: * shrug* sure I really like hacky sac.
Nephew shaking his head and laughing: you are something else man.