Top Five Ways To Annoy WTS at Assembles

metatron

I suppose you could annoy the Watchtower simply by
doing the opposite of everything those dreary Kingdom
Ministries tell you every year - like let your kids
run wild, play with the elevators, pull fire alarms,
don't leave tips anywhere, fry garlic bulbs on a hot
plate in your room, or behave like starving pigs whenever
a free hotel breakfast is offered.

But those things are unimaginative - and only create
hardships for poor folks in the service industry who
don't deserve such treatment.

on the other hand, here's some fun things to do at
assemblies!

#1 Put on your cheapest polyester suit with a great
big name badge prominently displayed on it and then
patronize every adult book store in town. Invite people there
to attend.

#2 Invite lots of people with Tourette's syndrome
to attend. Get them seats in front rows next to all your
transvestite friends.

#3 If they let you bring in your lawn chair, for
some weird health/disability reason, put it
somewhere visible to all in attendance and
knit someone a sweater during the program

#4 Make little dollar bill sized pieces of green
paper that say "One less dollar for child molesters!"
on them and find a contribution box.

#5 Write big checks on nonexistent accounts - see #4

Enjoy! Remember, you're among the 'happiest people on earth'!

metatron

Had Enough

I love it metatron!!!!

#4 Make little dollar bill sized pieces of green
paper that say "One less dollar for child molesters!"
on them and find a contribution box.
#5 Write big checks on nonexistent accounts - see #4

If I have to endure sitting through their drivel, that's the least I can do.

Or how about:
Get your copies of the release from as many handout areas as you can, in fact, get as many copies as they'll let you have (you know, for your other family members that can't line up) write a bogus name in each one and mark them up, then leave them lying around to be taken to "Lost and Found". They'll be unusable and WTS will be out of the donation for those books.

If several people did this everywhere...hmmm...could add up to lost $$$ from the Income that "they don't have" anyway according to their finacial reports on another thread.

Every little annoyance helps!!

Had Enough

"Never doubt that a small group of citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."...Margaret Mead

ashitaka

Have a sign that says "Please kiss my ass" to flash at them when they flash the "please return to seat" sign at you.

ashi

Imbue

I think that little check thing is illegal...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The only good elite are dead elite!!"-Naeblis
(Ok! He borrowed it)

ashitaka

Imbue.....quite right.

But, you could put an unsigned IOU in the box, such as "IOU NOTHING!", or "IOU a Fruit Salad"

or even a "UOME" one, just for spice.

ashi

AjaxMan

How'bout this?

- Come to a KH, Convention with a bandage on your arm and a T-Shirt promoting Donating Blood.

- When bored, Humm real loud "The Star-Spangled Banner"

- Arrive late to the KH cranking out a Metallica song (like "The UNforgiven" or "Master of Puppets") or a Pink Floyd song ("Time", "Hey You", "Another Brick in the Wall" or "Comfortably Numb") or a Led Zeppelin song ("Stairway to Heaven").

Quotes

How about buying time on a billboard accross the street from the Assembly (or close to a KH or even Bethel) that says simply " http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/ -- your Study Archive Source" or " http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/ -- talk to your Brothers and Sisters online".

Or wear an alternate name tag and see if anyone notices:

===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

FriendlyFellaAL

Have a sign that says "Please kiss my ass" to flash at them when they flash the "please return to seat" sign at you.
ashi

I know this isn't really on topic, but this just annoyed the mess out of me when I was still active. I remember sitting through those endless sessions as a young child and finally convincing Mom to let me make a bathroom run...anything to escape the tedium. No sooner would I hit the hallway than Brother Self Righteous would flash one of those precious little signs in my direction.

Of course, being the perfect little JW that I was, I would feel horribly chastised and RUSH back to my seat so that I could enjoy the fine spiritual bulls, er, food!

Besides, the only part of the assemblies that even caught my attention were the dramas and they were so darned heavy-handed that it was absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to not get the point.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Brian

ashitaka

Did you ever try saying to the people who flash the sign and point at you, "Then why aren't you sitting?" Doesn't score any points, as I remember.

Being 5 sucked.

ashi

Nathan Natas

OK, I'm slow... I just realized that that's a SMURF in the upper left hand corner of the badge. It's even more brilliant than I first thought!

Of course the bad checks would land you in a heap of trouble. But printing up "Kingdom Lucre" in the manner of Monopoly money would be perfectly okey-dokey.

"Beth Sarim Bucks" maybe, payable to the "Kings" on their return?

I like metatron's "Get them seats in front rows next to all your
transvestite friends." I can see a gaggle of Dame Ednas sitting up front commenting in stage whisper about how cute the speaker is. "Oh, he's just FAB-ulous, darling! Look at his little bum! So cute!"

Top Five Ways To Annoy WTS at Assembles

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