Where else is there to go?

by snare&racket 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    When I left the JW's, close friends and some elders discussed my desicion with me,without fail they ALL concluded the same thing...

    "But where else is there to go?!"

    At the time, the question just confused me, I could not see why it confused me or the very telling nature of such a comment. I never thought that once.

    Firstly, this indicates that many JW's remain JW's simply because of this tunnel vision perspective... everything in their periphery is valueless, but the WT on which they focus is EVERTHING. Even their family and children become second to the book publishing factory! (warning bells?)

    The people that said this phrase to me were significant people in the JW pond, one was a presiding overseer, one was an elder, one was a pioneer/missionary, one was a M.S. It rolled off their tongues so easily that it was a crossroads they had obviously reached by themselves, for whatever reasons. It is a big question and been as the answer is very personal and takes a life time to answer, there is no quick retort.

    I didn't understand at the time, but now looking back, it seems a little clearer. It is a confusing comment, because it indicated that person believes that humans NEED to be SOMEWHERE. I assume they mean somewhere religious, somewhere organised. I sincerely never felt that, I thought I had been raised with the truth, the moment I saw it wasn'y it was over. There was no "eek where else is there?" it seemed an odd question to me. Where else is there to go? Why go anywhere?! I now believe this says much about those that attach themselves to a movement. It is a ride through life, let someone else lead, take shelter in a herd of fellow followers, let other people research history, science, philosophy and do all the work for you. But I think this is less of an attachment than the BIG SELL, the BIG LIE.... the big scary life outside camp watchtower! How do you achieve anything in life without being part of such a movement? This is the salepitch they have eaten up....

    JW's have been sold a lie, the same old lie that humans fall for throughout time.... they have been told they have no power. They have accepted a premise: To get anywhere in life, you need to please god, god has chosen 8 window cleaners in a brooklyn factory to speak for him, do you agree?(answer 'yes' you can stay, 'no' say goodbye to your family and friends)...Therefore do as these 8 men say and you are in fact pleasing god ! Wow! Watch the good times roll in....

    ....only, any honest JW will admit that this didn't happen! Life to a JW is a depressing, burdensome strife, they prey for its end daily! The irony being it is the life THEY ARE CHOOSING! But to let go of the organisations wagon and try to mould life around you by hard work and determination is scary and you have to do it 100% on your own! But there is a benefit to going it alone.....it works! It is what 'normal' people do every day, whilst JW's pray for it! They live such a miserable existence, the only thing good and clean and in their indoctrinated, skewed lives is a book publishing organisation. What makes it that bit more depressing, every JW knows that quite likely, the ivory tower they all kneel beneath is....more than probably tarnished in corruption, but they dare not check to see, ignoring the punishments for EVEN looking for such information, the question remains for them... "where else is there to go?"

    Secondly, the JW's look at the horizon of our world and everything they look at has been tainted, from other religions on offer to careers, achievments, education. So of course, there appears to be nowhere else to go, thats has been indoctrinated into you by the people you are currently latched on to! For someone to reach a point in their JW life where they ask "where else is there to go?" it means they see issues and have problems with WT as a religion. Why doesn't their cogs turn one more tooth, why doesn't it 'click' that when hey look out at the horizon at all the other options, all the data they have on them has come from....... Watchtower! A JW was discussing other religions with me, he made comments such as "don' talk to me about buddhists, too peaceful to step on insects, that is just ridiculous!" and that is as deep as it goes.... Catholics are evil, all other religions are vaguely evil but JW's dont know why. Going door to door en masse apparantly is more important than anything else in the bible. Why? Because that is what they were told! Of course, this makes AVON calling with a summer sale (good news), gods cherished people. Ok, maybe not AVON, but the Mormons do it now, and evangelicals are preaching in most town centres. Catholics say they build churches and preach and go to peoples houses when invited and have done so for centuries! "Oh no, door to door is the ONLY and BEST preaching!" Really? After 25 years knocking on empty doors, I know that is bullcrap!

    Why doesn't the cog teeth turn one more movement, they have already said "where else is there to go?" and they often conclude "Who else is preaching around the world!" aha ! I'll stay a JW! .... Why not go one more cog turn and ask "Who wrote that verse? When? In what context? Does that neagte all other commands? If you do the door to door preaching can you make as many mistakes as the JW's have? If the JW's make mistakes and I overlook them because of their motive I asuume they have and the ministry work, why cant I overlook the mistakes other reigions make, taking in mind the good they do?"

    They must reason this way, but ignore those thoughts, these are obvious thoughts. I had them for years. It also makes the question invalid and dishonest, "where else is there to go...nowhere" is actually "where else is there to go?...I don't want to even think about it."

    "Where else is there to go?"

    1) You don't need to GO anywhere.... already you are showing indications of indoctrination. You don't NEED an organisation, you may however WANT one. Think about it....

    2) Maybe your opinion of your options beyond WT has been biased! Be honest, all your information on other religions, life options etc have been described to you by one source! 8 window cleaners in a factory in Brooklyn....the very same people who can't survive if everyone leaves. Is that smart on your part?

    Where else is there to go?

    That should excite you, not scare you! life is short, time goes in one direction. There have already been billions of people who have lived and died in religons and movements you consider false, that is how easy it is to waste a life. Do you know what they were saying to themselves? "Where else is there to go?" Life is unfair, but then again it is also VERY fair sometimes...it is up to you to let go and live your own life, nobody will do it for you, the religion you belong to least so! They will have your family abandon you if you decide to find somewhere else to go... that is the kind of animal you are harbouring beneath.

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    Exactly my friend.nice post.liked your argument about how others could have asked themselves the same questions.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Great OP Sanre, many of us may have left but are still recovering, this raised points close to my heart.

    let other people research history, science, philosophy and do all the work for you. Also, how do you achieve anything in life without being part of such a movement? Of course this is nonsense.-Snare

    I have an enquiring mind and love reaading science and theology, but your post made me think, the thological side can be dangerous, I amy still be indoctrinated to want to "belong" and that is dangerous thinking, happily this site has protected me form Mormons and many other cults

    Maybe your opinion of your options beyond WT has been biased! Be honest,

    This is so true, on our journey we need to be honest with ourselves, we need to recognise we are deprogramming from a destructive cult and accept some of our bias is due to residual indoctrintion. This can be a big struggle at time I know I have been there.

    Thanks for this Snare I enjoyed it. I still believe in God though Kate xx

  • Captain Blithering
    Captain Blithering

    Can I get aaaaaAMEN! the question is, how do we make that cog click on to the last tooth without inducing the cult brain - shutdown mentality in those we love? Gently gently, im told...

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    You have to want the cogs to turn..... it actually requires bravery, removing the fear of asking the simplest questions!

    How many times did you wish as a JW that you were a bible sudy so you could ask questions you dare not ask now..

    I think JW's know that the route ends in leaving, they know the ivory tower stinks when you get close , so they hit the hand break!

    In addition to that, the JW brain is certainly hardwired differently, independant thinking is seen as wrong. That is some scary sh*t right there!

    If I heard a medication may cause more problems than fix, I would jump on the research with zeal. Tell a JW that a governing body member left and wrote a memoir of his "crisis of conscience" and watch the cogs hit the brakes, watch the brain washing kick in..... every natural response is to ask where they can read that book! Every honest inch of that person should WANT to read that book, for reasons of sincerity, integrity and truth... but look at what actually happens...

    FEAR

    TREPIDATION

    DEFENSIVE

    ACCUSATORY

    These are programmed responses, with an element of personal dishonesty. When you reach a point where you simple WANT to know, you still get those responses, but you overcome them, the need for truth is greater than the indoctrinated fear.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    how do we make that cog click on to the last tooth without inducing the cult brain - shutdown mentality in those we love? -CB

    It's so difficult, and sometimes we need to accept a Steven Hassan style intervention is not working.

    My daughter had stopped going to meetings, but was very conscious about gossip and ones finding out, she was dealing with residual indoctrination and was angered at me for leaving my way. She wanted a fade and I wanted a big bang. We could not exit without one impacting on the other. It was stressful and delicate.

    I was wrong, I got frustrated and blurted out "YOU ARE BEING CONTRLLED BY A DESTRUCTRIVE CULT", she lives in a different city, and did not speak to me for 24hrs, I thought I had lost her for good. We are best pals again now, which is also sad in way, she hasn't got a new circle of friends at the moment, but that takes time too.

    CB, my point is emotions are involved, it's hard, we are human and can make mistakes, I only hope I have stopped you from making the mistake I made with my precious girlie.

    Kate xx

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Tell a JW that a governing body member left and wrote a memoir of his "crisis of conscience" and watch the cogs hit the brakes-Snare

    This is so true, my loved ones hit the brakes all the time, Paul Grundy says certain things cause a trigger that get ones to enquire, but in the main there is phobia.

    Many who have loved ones still trapped may get frustrated by this, Shame we can't free tham all.

    Kate xx

  • steve2
    steve2

    Wonderful thread Snare. You write well on the topic. Actually, the strong fear-based inclination of humans to remain in unsatisfactory situations for dubious reasons such as not letting themselves generate alternatives is not confined to religious affiliation. How many people remain in chronically unhappy relationships or unsatisfying jobs because they cannot see beyond their fears? The JWs provide a personally relevant example of that mentally and emotionally stunted outlook - but truth is, people from all backgrounds and belief systems limit themselves due to negative, fear-based beliefs that there is no viable alternative to that which they currently have. What a dreary, dreary basis for living one's life beneath one's potential.

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    Sometimes you can't see the situation when you're in it. It takes balls to get out and look back on it all.

  • LucidChimp
    LucidChimp

    I've been asked this exact question by two dubs I spoke to... Best I could do at the time was "get out of her my people" and "flee to the mudachuffin' mountains". [Which fell kind of flat - they both knew I don't believe in the bible]

    Great post (I think all of the varied "kinds" of Jdub fall under two Species: those who will leave for reasons pertaining to corruption and doctrine - and those who will not... I'm willing to bet you only hear this question from those who will not).

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit