by cookiemaster 20 Replies latest jw experiences
I have known where a deaf person led The blind person to the door
God help 'em if they had to run for safety
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The blind would have to alert the deaf when they hear a dog somewhere
and the deaf would have to lead the blind to safety
what a pair
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Not mine, but my SIL, she was about 11 or 12, knocking on doors with her similar aged friend, they appraoched the door of a sweet, but somewhat dark cottage. The front door was slightly ajar, in the gloom they could just make out a cat sittng motionless, they tapped on the door, no response, so my (now) SIL called out "Anyone home ?"
A strange, reedy voice replied "Only me the cat".
The two girls legged it outta there !
To this day, her now XJW friend still maintains it was the cat that spoke. LOL
Nice one Phizzy.
The sister I studied with and took me up to baptism told me this story.
She was doing FS in a rarely worked, remote area with Mega Bucks properties with really long drives. She could'nt go up the drive of this house, she did'nt know why. She just "felt" something. Like an invisible barrier. She said later, she thought Satan and the demons may have used that property for an assembly/gathering and angels were stopping her from calling at this house.
Rather spine tingling, I thought.
i remember working with my mum in FS and we called on a big(ish) house with one of those traditional bell chains. I pulled it expecting to hear the jangling of a bell but nothing happened. we carried on talking to each other. then I said to my mum "did you hear the bell ring?" she said no and tried pulling the chain. again nothing. so I said "I think it's stuck" so I pulled. By this time we were laughing. so my mum then pulled the chain trying to get it to ring. and so it went on. Suddenly a man's head and naked torso appeared out of the upstairs window, completely dripping wet, so stressed he was almost crying and shouting at us "what's your problem ringing my bell like that!" he went on. at which point I noticed that the chain simply connected to an electric bell so the poor guy must have been in the bath or shower listening to the insistent ringing of a door bell. We were laughing for ages about that but how annoying lol
There was another time I was working with an elder's wife and on her door this young lad answered and said "sorry, I can't stop I've got to wipe the kitten's bum". We were both laughing so much that her husband had to split us up.
My wife went with another sister to a door and a man met them on the front yard obviously upset. Sister Ditzy then proceeds to go into her presentation, meanwhile the guy starts to fume and extend his arms to his side with palms up, staring into the sky babbling about Christ. Then he proceeds to go into a David Blaine (not Splane) imitation and starts to levitate off the ground. Unfazed, Sister Ditzy continues with the call by trying to read a scripture, all the while my wife is pulling her by the back of her blouse to get the hell out of there. Creepy, yet hilarious. JWs always have the last word, whether you speak in toungs or levitate at will.
I do remember some weird situations, but the funniest I had with an elder that attempted to talk to anyone regardless how appropriate or safe it was. He crossed a path of woman who was running to catch a bus carrying a cane under her arm, which she of course missed. Couple minutes later she run behind us wielding the cane above the head yelling that we caused her to miss the bus. We had disappeared in large appartment complex and I never attempted to hold anyone running for public transport.
I can confirm the validity of Blondie's experience, but she left out a few details. When the witch handed the soiled rolled-up watchtower she subtly revealed her identity. Her chilling words haunt me to this day: "This magazine is full of nothing but Roumors and Sweet Little Lies. Take this crap back to your leaders compliments of Rihannon." After the witnesses left the witch prayed to Satan for a new name and promised the devil that if he gave her fame and fortune she would write every song about destroying jehovah's witnesses and praising and honoring Satan. Today we know this witch by the name Stevie Nicks. However, recently she broke her promise to the devil by actually reading a watchtower and accepting a bible study with jw's and the devil punished her by sending her, her latest song, "What's dumber than a song? This song."
There was this time I was with my brother on a study of his when the study put on a nice porno during the study and my brother just kept riggt on with the study. Very awkward it was...
I had to go to the door with this large oaf of a man who was dumber than a box of rocks, he insisted on knocking on the doors with a large metal bolt so that the householder could hear us knocking...
this particular door was slightly ajar and he just walked in! I couldn't believe it!! There was this poor young woman sleeping on the couch and was awakened by a giant dude in a suit (missing teeth, he kinda reminded me of andre the giant when he spoke)...needless to say the woman was scared shitless....
once she gets her bearings she rejects his offer of a brochure...so he gets out another magazine from his bag and offers it to her, she is dumbfounded and kicks him out-
yes I am still out on the porch horrified and embarassed that I was seen with him, all I could do is say that I was sorry and leave before she called the cops on us-
CHG
When I was maybe 12/13 years old I knocked on a door and an old man answered wearing a bobble hat, a shirt and nothing else. He had the biggest scrotum I've ever seen.
