Is it just me...

Freeof1914

I haven't been on this site for as long as many of you, but when I first started it just felt like much more supportive and constructive. As of late though it just seems to be a very toxic and argumentative place to be. I speak for myself and I believe others as well, when I say that some of us need a place where we can vent, speak our minds freelym and not feel attacked. Many of us already have that in our personal lives and it just feels like such a shame that a place that once felt safe and like a breath of fresh air has become such a venemous place where insults are so freely launched back and forth. It truly is saddening to want to get away from that in our lives, or in the org and find ourselves right back in that same type of environment. I am no one to blame anyone, but I feel that many of us have lost perspective on the real purpose of this site. Just saying.

Julia Orwell

I agree. We need to remember where we've all come from and why we're here rather than picking at each other and squabbling.

OnTheWayOut

Often times, the most active threads happen to be debates between believers and nonbelievers. But that doesn't mean that those that vent cannot find a sympathetic ear here. If someone comes for help, they are not typically "attacked" for their belief/nonbelief/thoughts. If someone comes to proclaim a message from God or that God is dead, of course they are going to stir things up here, and many not interested simply avoid that thread.

I think it is a bonus of this forum that we can debate in one area and share support in another.

I have sat and broke bread with many that I vastly disagree with. The debate (even the toxic argumentative type) should not be taken so seriously and personally and everyone should be able to shake hands if they met. I am sure some would not be okay with that with some people, but we are a bunch of vastly different people united by one cause. That doesn't prevent us from being like any other slice of humanity.

Freeof1914

Otwo - I totally agree with you, I love to debate and enjoy hearing wonderful debates, but I find that as if late the tone and in the way the attacks have become personal have just left a bad taste in my mouth. Regardless of how staunchly I disagree with someone it doesn't give me the right to disrespect anyone on here or belittle them. I have no issues with heated debate, just find that lately the manner in which they have been conducted have crossed that line from debate to simply insulting and trying to humiliate the other party. I do agree that differences in point if views and debates are an important part of this forum, just wish it were done with more respect I guess.

clarity

Freeof1914

Amen! ...err... I mean, I totally agree with treasuring JWN

as a safe & pleasant place to be. No need to grit our teeth

and agree with everything tho .... say what we think, but add

a spoonful of sugar with it. The guy that is taking us seriously......

may be in desparate need to be accepted & heard.

clarity

LisaRose

There have always been arguments, it's the nature of most discussion boards including this one. I used to get upset about it, but really, it is what it is. I used to think the atheists were being too brutal on the believers, and maybe they are, but after a while I realized they are helping many to develop critical thinking skills, something we didn't learn as JWs. I have learned a lot myself. Keep in mind that this is not real life, if someone is getting hurt by the postings of someone on a discussion board, then they shouldn't be here, or should not post on contentious threads.

There are other ex JW boards that are geared more towards support and helping, people are free to go to them.

rip van winkle

I think JWN has become less confrontational than when I first became a member here.

Or I'm less sensitive and raw than I once was when I first became a member here.

After 20 years of stifling thought and opinion, sometimes it DID feel like a free for all. But maybe it was easier for me than you, or some others, as I didn't grow up in the sheltered world of JW's.

I once knew what is was to have my own views, to have a difference of opinion with others and still respect them and be friends. Or not be. Choice is good.

It is understandably more difficult for those coming from an insular place of ONE thought, which permeates a cult, that people may feel (more or less) on shaky ground and less likely to offer up their opinion here for fear of someone questioning their belief.

Questioning one's belief, whether religious or political, is not an attack on the person. If an opinion is expressed on a discussion site, which this happens to be, other members can offer their opinion/ belief with counter arguments. That begins discussion.

Discussion is good. Personal attacks are NOT. Unfortunately, it happens at times when people are frustrated, perhaps proven wrong, or are unable to express what they mean in an understandable way. Nobody's perfect: I have seen it happen on both sides of a discussion.

Without being in the heat of the moment, I often found good reasoning and sense for the opposite argument/opinion. It didn't mean that I necessarily agreed, but, I stopped reading other people's responses with MY emotion attached to their words. I stopped being ( to some extent) reactive.

Reading in a neutral way has helped me to really listen and accept the other side of a position without personal anger or indifference towards them . And I have appreciated the variety of thought here.

Unfortunately, some really great posters are no longer posting here, some by banning and some by choice. Many have moved on with life.

Moving on is a GOOD thing.

ohnightdivine

Since I first came here last September to vent and seek emotional support until now, I've gotten more than I wished for. Simple replies and words of encouragement are always there and I am grateful for this. Now as to the debates and arguments, I just try to avoid checking the threads that I feel are not helpful or appropriate for me at this time.

kjg132

ohnightdivine, I do the same thing. I try not to even read the stuff that will bring me down. Lately the debates actually made me feel disappointed that maybe posters weren't who I thought they were in my head and when I realized how silly it was to feel disappointed in people I do not actually know, it made me just let it go.

prologos

some characters with their characteristics just want to be at the top of the heap, where they belong, and the only way to get there is by overtly or subtely beat the other lady, fella down.

if you are educated,-- teach, do not use the special big words to intimidate, denigrate the learners.

Doris day : "I want to be teacher's pet"

Is it just me...

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