One year ago...

by DeWandelaar 16 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DeWandelaar

  ... i joined this forum. Well... 11 months and 23 days ago to be more exact. Why this post? Because I have changed within this year.

  When I first posted on this forum I was still a big believer in something... in God... In Christ... I started to read the bible and I sucked it up big time especially the Gospels. However... later on I started to study the backgrounds of the books that formed the bible. I read some aprocive books and a lot of interesting blogs and articles (both here and from other sources). I have seen a lot of youtube movies of different groups, conspiracy theories etc etc and within all this chaos I discovered the truth...

  For some this truth (also known as TTATT) is everything that strongly and with proof undermines the theories of the bOrg but that is not TTATT I mean... I already found that earlier on...

  for ME TTATT is this: the truth that there possibly is no truth

  If there is a God who loves us then he does not show it. Which father would give a riddle for his offspring that is SO hard to catch that he would never ever be able to find it. So difficult that his offspring can not find him and can not get to know him? The answer is quite simple: NO father would do that. That is why there can not be a fatherfigure within him... since if he WAS a father he would have easily let himself be found.

  It is this simple and yet hard fact that is eating my brain every day all day... the realisation that everything around me will be there once... the realisation that every minute of my life should count... it is harsh... it is hard... but it is the truth

  I was on my bike going to work and I wondered why it is actually so hard to believe? It happens in nature all the time! If a duckling gets 5 small ones only 1 or 2 of them will survive... the rest will die by nature. If you are a particular sort of fly you might live only 24 hours (so he better make it a good day!). We see it in nature every day. What is the fucking use of all that violence of the deaths of all these animals? Why does something that gets born get to die early without hope? ... they are not getting a new chance. They get born... are unlucky that a big fish is hungry and eats the living daylights out of it. We find that quit normal. Just as normal as eating a chicken that is served on our plate. But when it happens to mankind we are hoping for something more. It is actually irrational if you come to think of it

  On what ground is mankind basing that hope? A book that is written by same mortal men as us? Did God reveal himself to you and said to you there is more? And if he did WHAT did he say? I sometimes read about people who said they had such an experience but when I ask them to write it down in detail they are not able to do so. If I say: well... just tell me then instead of writing it down... they are not able to.

  Are you able to? Write it down here please so that I may have hope on something better then this shitty life we are all living.
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  Giordano

  I am not sure what kind of life your living mine is not shitty....my end might be but not my life.

  I left the JW's with my wife when I was 23 I am now about to turn 70. I believe that I have had a productive life. An abundance of family and friends.

  If there is a passing on into something else then so be it. If there is no after life then I will return to where I was before I was conceived.....the great nothing.

  I long ago realized that I didn't care if god existed or not. If god's true language is silence then everything that follows are just bad translations.
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  2+2=5

  Holy shit, it is like you are writing down my thoughts.

  I believed in God for a while after learning TTATT. But the more I think about things the less sense God makes.

  The nail in the coffin for me was a true crime documentary that I watched one Saturday morning.

  Two teenage girls about 17 years of age are out walking early one evening. They get picked up by a couple of drug abusing guys. They are driven out to a quiet area and are both raped at knife point. They are thrown back in the vehicle. They are driven around some more while the guys take it turns raping them. This goes on all through the night and into the morning the next day. The two men then start taking about how they can't let them go and they will have to kill them. They drive out to a creek, make the girls strip down to nothing, and have them clean themselves in the water in an effort to hide the evidence of all the rape. They tie one girl up to a tree, and one guy leaves the other to kill them both. He tries drowning the one that's not tied up to the tree in the creek, but he is having trouble managing. So he starts stabbing the girl in the side to try and kill her more quickly. The girl that is tied up can see this happening. She is next, and he when he attempts to kill her, he makes a mess of this also and ends up kicking her while she bleeds out on the ground.

  The killer was found, and admitted all this to the police. The actual interview was played on the show.

  Could you imagine the last hours of these poor innocent girls lives? It was so shocking hearing this guy admit to this, I will never forget it.

  They interviewed the family of the victims on the show. It was heartbreaking.

  But this is just the tip of the iceberg. This kind of evil has played out over and over again all over the world, day in day out, for thousands of years.

  Where is God? What the hell is he doing? He wants us to call him father???!!! FFS! What father could possibly watch his children suffer this. I could hardly watch the show, let alone see it with my own eyes. How does God watch these things? All the while knowing he could prevent it in a second.

  A few years ago in Perth Australia, a seven year old is raped and then strangled to death in a public toilet.

  I get so wound up about all this shit sometimes I can't sleep at night. Screw god and his love and his shit wisdom.
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  yadda yadda 2

  You're a young soul it seems. You're suffering some existential angst. It's natural after all your religious bubbles have burst. Lighten up my son, and never forget....

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ
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  yadda yadda 2

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu-dx8PM0b4
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  Xanthippe

  DeW and 2+2=5 I know it is a shock to the system. We are born, we try to be happy and then we die just like the other animals. Some people do terrible things. This is not the end of your journey into reality though, it's just the beginning. Keep searching, keep reading, google is your friend. Don't expect people here to give you a hope or reason for living. It isn't that easy. Just keep in mind that we live in a huge universe and this planet is just a speck in it. The opinions of people on this speck? Well ....
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  DeWandelaar

  Dear Xanthippe,

  That is the thing that also leads to the conclusion. The actual question people should ask themselves is this "what is the USE" ... The more I look at the universe the more I see the uselessness of all that. I mean... what use has Mars? what use has Saturnus? It has absolutely no use for earthly inhabitants (unless you work for NASA etc). It is just "there" but what the **** is the function in relation to us: NOTHING.

  And it is that "Nothingness" that is tearing at my brain. All things we are doing in life are actually "useless"... we do them because of chemical processes in the brain and that is it. Maybe I think too much :P
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  Fernando

  A challenging question indeed: "why does God permit evil?"

  I have pondered if we have possibly been asking the wrong question.

  What if God has played his ultimate trump card to end evil legally and permanently?

  Could it be that we simply have to accept and pursue this solution?

  Should we be asking: "why do we permit evil (by ignoring God's solution)?"

  There was a seismic shift in the sociological landscape almost 500 years ago in 1517 when one man was so emboldened by this solution that he launched a solo challenge against the status quo.

  He articulated a startling and frightening vision that ended up unleashing unbelievable freedoms which resulted in a much safer world for many of those in the west.

  What would happen if we took his vision to the next level and then to its zenith?
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  Xanthippe

  There are millions of galaxies with billions of stars in each. You are being 'provincial' in a universal way, forgive me for saying so. We don't know what the hell is going on out there. The distances are incomprehensible.

  We are more than chemical reactions. If we weren't we would never have developed medicine to help the sick and in pain or the elderly. It would be just natural selection like other animals. Even cave men have been found with broken bones that later healed and they continued for many years after that. Without the care of others they would not have survived. We can decide to be more than our brain chemistry and instincts. That is why there are thousands of charities.

  Don't give up. Where you are is the hardest time. You have got used to the freedom and now the black hole of what reality might be has opened up. Just jump in and find out. Google whatever you like. Lots of clever, interesting people out there. Find them.
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  DeWandelaar

  Dear Fernando... Martin Luther was still religious so although he started to change the thinking of millions (which started havoc and wars all the same) he was still a captive of a God-concept (something MANKIND created).

  I will give a very short synopsis of a book that is showing the way to 2 billion inhabitants of this blue planet:

  God, in all his greatness and kindness and loving being, creates a small planet within a VERY big universe of universes. When he created this small planet he created an even smaller garden and in it he placed an even smaller species: humans... He then creates a tree which in ALL universes around us will lead to a universal war of spiritual beings. Then the whole bunch of creatures that multiplied get flooded of the planet into extinction almost and we get to follow 8 persons who are going to fill the earth (again). Of all the people that are then inhabiting the world he only chooses a small portion that have to live as nomads their entire lives and will have to learn the complete planet what truth is but before we get to know it there needs to be a shitload of murders to be done and some coveringups of holy texts before it comes to ALL the people in the world! And finally... when ALL the people in the world have excess to these holy scriptures there will come about 10.000 different dominations because the scriptures can be read in all kind of ways... failing to find the right path in this chaos will lead to another destruction because the father and creator of all wants to make it to fucking difficult to find the right path. Very loving indeed.