New Book Published

by satinka 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • satinka
    satinka

    Hi Clarity, It feels wonderful to have published my book. More than I imagined it would. I described my upbringing so that readers (even nonjws) could understand life inside the religion. Because a cult mentality is seriously twisted and very different from an authentic personality. Rather than "helping exjws," I have found that more nonjws than exjws are reading it by a huge margin! But the nonjws often have jw relatives that are causing problems for the rest of the family --- and that is why these nonjws are curious to know what is behind the chaos. They seem to be searching for an explanation. Another thing, some exjws still have jw relatives close by and don't want to get caught reading "apostate" literature. In my own situation, I had a lot of fear to work through before ever going public. I have quite a number of JW relatives, including an elder.

    Hi love2Bworldly, Thanks for your suggestions for marketing "Phoenix of Faith." It is helpful because after all I am doing my own marketing and distribution. You know, I had good training from the jws to get book sales! LOL!!!

    hugs to you both, Clarity and love2Bworldly. Thanks for your comments!

    satinka

  • satinka
    satinka

    Many people, after leaving the Jehovah's Witness religion, see themselves as "broken." I don't. I see all those who left the religion as individuals having the courage to grow into their own power. It takes courage and integrity to leave the religion because elders teach that leaving is "your failure." — failure to measure up to their man-made standards in some way. Your faith is somehow “defective.” But I see your courage and I see your leaving as your own personal growth step. You have outgrown the religion, like when you were young and had a pair of shoes that had grown too tight and are now causing discomfort.

    To me, blindly following religious rules dictated by religious elders demonstrates a lack of free will. You see injustice of those rules and believe that you can no longer turn a blind eye or you would be living falsely. Following your true conscience takes strength, not cowardice. It is not your fault if a religious theology collides with your free will. It is your soul urging you to grow!

    If you were disfellowshipped you may have noticed how the judicial committee became more concerned with "keeping the congregation clean" than caring about helping you work through your doubts. Nevertheless, you have survived the demonization and the shunning and are successfully rebuilding your life. You have discovered you are inherently equipped with all the tools you need to be well. People appear “out of the blue” to support your healthy self-directed decisions.

    You recognize that you are free. So free, in fact, that you could choose bondage. You have the freedom to go back, but the question begs to be asked: is going back to a corrupt religion really your strong desire? "Pick up your cot and walk," is a scripture that immediately comes to mind, since you are no longer paralyzed by fear.

    It takes courage to speak your truth. It also takes integrity. Some ex-members have written books, set up blogs and built websites as a way to speak their new truth. Many great videos have been recorded to share with the world. "Many will rove about and the truth will become abundant" is a scripture that takes on a whole new meaning!

    It takes courage to speak about all the new things you are learning after leaving the organization. Things you would never have learned by staying, now that you think on your feet outside the religious box. Now you are self-directed and that feels positive and freeing!

    You no longer live with the idea that one day you will do this or that. Maybe you may long to sky dive, hang glide, or whatever your passion. Now you follow your heart. You no longer live for some elusive future date to begin living your joy.

    You have abandoned a religion that once kept you stuck. I cheer loudly for each of you!

    I'll bet you can think of some other qualities that I missed that would show your growth upon leaving a patriarchal religion. By all means, validate your own growth! You are awesome people, living healed — and growing stronger every day!

    satinka

  • Bruja-del-Sol
    Bruja-del-Sol

    What a beautiful post Satinka! You've really touched me with it. My feelings are so two sided most of the time. On the one hand I feel strong, a survivor, a fighter, a woman who found her way in life all by herself, someone who fought for her freedom after 33 years of 'cult hostage'... On the other hand I often feel insecure, weak, alone sometimes since I find it hard to make new friends (I often choose exactly the wrong people, give too much of myself and end up disillusioned when they end up not being worth my time, energy and affection). I have a wonderful husband but he's never been a JW and doesn't understand a lot of my upbringing in the cult...

    So your posting is 'balm for my soul'... especially today, don't know why, but I've been weepy all day... so thank you for your encouragement.

    With love

    Bruja.

  • satinka
    satinka

    Hi Bruja,

    Thank you for your beautiful comment! It has been a long road of healing for me, too, as I was disfellowshipped in 2000. I know what you are saying, feeling loss from the community point of view, and feeling freedom from the cult on the other hand. I figure a lot of it has to do with the religion screwing up our otherwise healthy boundaries. The religion distorts the meaning of the family, as love from members is so conditional. Other families love each other through thick and thin, but not the jws. It's all about rules and standards and if you break a rule, you can be shunned, or marked or otherwise judged. In the organization we were taught to see ourselves through someone else's eyes. Our conscience wasn't truly our own. When we leave the religion, it is a big adjustment to find out who we really are as our authentic self got so lost in the religious maze.

    The main thing is KNOW that we can find our way back. We can find out who we truly are on the inside by separating ourself from the religion and its dogmatic rules.

    You are a courageous woman, Bruja! I applaud you!

    Thanks for posting.

    hugs

    satinka

  • satinka
    satinka

    Yay! I've been invited to speak at a university!

    satinka

  • clarity
    clarity

    What! Satinka great news! How did that come about?

    *

    I am so excited for you kid!

    clarity

  • satinka
    satinka

    Hi clarity,

    I was approached by someone in Humanities after seeing the announcement in a departmental newsletter.

    I will keep you posted!

    Cheers,

    satinka

  • KiddingMe
    KiddingMe

    Congrats! Thanks for sharing.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    HI Satinka, this is just so great! i will order the book soon. I love the way you write and also the blog. The part in the intro about children is spot on - thank you so much for your work, getting this book written!

    Marina

  • satinka
    satinka

    IownMylife,

    Thanks for the great feedback about my writing!

    Cheers,

    satinka

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