This is so disgusting how these elders don't care if they ruin a marriage. Those elders are wrong for encouraging him in they way they have. They are not to encourage anyone to divorce. I hope they are deleted for this but we know that won't happen. It just amazes me what they get away with. If I were the wife I wouldn't want the husband after this, he showed how weak he really is.
Friend gets "scriptural divorce" over wifes transgressions before they got married...
by sosoconfused 81 Replies latest jw experiences
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sosoconfused
I have talked to him twice today and he seems like he just doesn't want to even try to look past what she did. I still inquired what the basis for the scriptural divorce was without trying to sound to pushy and it is the same thing. They keep telling him that they got married under false pretenses(sp).
Like I said I still don't get it either, but that is what they told him. I am thinking of calling her as well but I am sure that would not go over well since he is a "friend" of mine Then again I am sure once he gets wind of my situation he will jump ship LOL
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Marvin Shilmer
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sosoconfused,
I’ve heard of such divorces before. Very rare. But it’s happened. Sometimes it’s overturned by Watchtower and sometimes not.
You won’t find much—if anything—published by Watchtower on this, but the organization’s penchant for Mosaic Law thinking is behind it.
Under Mosaic Law if a Israelite woman who should have been a virgin at time of marriage turned out not to be and the man objected to the union on that ground, then the marriage was ended by stoning the woman to death.
Watchtower leadership over the years has received appeals on this and, though it’s waffled here and there, it has sometimes upheld the divorce as scriptural. When a marriage is 1) relatively new 2) the individual at issue should have been a virgin at the time of marriage, 3) there is unequivocal evidence the individual was not a virgin at time of marriage, 4) the mate is much offended at this and does not want the union to continue as a result and 5) there is no suspicion of ulterior reason for ending the union, Watchtower leadership has on occasion accepted a divorce as scriptural.
I'll add that I've not heard of one of these cases since probably the late 1950s or early 1960s.
Marvin Shilmer
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BroMac
Dumb husband: Was his penis bigger than mine?
Naive Wife: (pauses to think but has said she will answer all his questions honestly) Yes, but, (tries to be reassuring as to his manhood)
Dumb husband: Cant cope with that. Marriage over.
He is a bigger dick than he thinks
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Vidiot
Marvin Shilmer - "I've not heard of one of these cases since probably the late 1950s or early 1960s."
Well, considering how nostalgic the WTS has always been for the 50s/early 60s...
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joe134cd
With JDub politics. Sometimes it's just easier to keep your bloody mouth shut. I would just show him the above mentioned article. States it there in black and white. I hate it when you are getting unqualified individuals making up rules for people, who have no right to do so.
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Pistoff
So this friend of yours may end up divorcing his wife, the elders will then realize they made a mistake, and they WILL tell him he has an unscriptural divorce; it won't matter that they told him this, he will take the fall for it.
Has he thought about that?
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Socrateswannabe
Sosoconfused, others have already made the point that your friend may not be leveling with you. People lie for many reasons, and I think that there is a chance that you are not being told the truth.
I don't know your friend, but I have sat on many judicial committees and here are some of my observations: If what your friend says is true, this judicial committee rendered a stunningly egregious verdict against this couple's marriage. It is completely indefensible, and is unsupported by anything in the scriptures, the WTS literature, or by common sense. It is impossible to commit adultery if you're not married, and adultery is the only grounds for gaining a scriptural divorce (in Matthew Jesus said it was "fornication" but JWs understand this to mean pornea with someone other than your mate, so for this to apply your friend would have had to be married to her at the time).
So here's how it should and would normally go down, even in the unfair world of JW judicial committees: The wife confesses to the husband and then they go together to a judicial committee. If the husband is not put off by this (and why should he be--they didn't even know one another at the time), the sister is counseled and perhaps privately reproved, but likely as not, she may get off with just counseling and perhaps losing her privilege of pioneering for a bit. If the husband is repulsed by the conduct of his wife, that would not change what happens to her as far as the congregation is concerned. She is no more culpable if he is put off by her actions than if he accepts them. If he decides to initiate a divorce, the judicial committee would inform him that he may do so, but that he would not be scripturally free to remarry. There is no indication in Christianity that a bride has to be "pure". That is 3500 year old Israelite garbage that was worthless back then and even less applicable today. If this situation had come up on just about any committee I've served on, the elders would have counseled the couple to stay together, and in fact, no committee is ever supposed to counsel a person toward a divorce. Even in the case of adultery, the innocent mate has a right to forgive if he wants to.
There are plenty of nutty elders out there who, on their own, might be capable of rendering such a moronic decision as you describe. But that's why there are at least 3 elders on a judicial committee. The idea is that if the committee goes completely off the rails, at least one of them will yank the others back on track. My experience is that elders and judicial committees don't hesitate to call the service department when they have an issue that is complex or that might spawn litigation. I have sat on a number of committees that did this. There is no way the service department would have agreed to their decision.
So to my thinking, the situation your friend described to you would almost have to be a conspiracy between him and at least three elders. I suppose that is possible, but it is unlikely. This sort of thing would expose the congregation and the individual elders to a civil lawsuit. The issue used to be called Alienation of Affections, but I understand that is no longer used in most states. I would think there is some similar basis for suit that has taken its place. Perhaps some of the lawyers on our forum can answer that.
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5go
I am willing to bet that this is the society trying very hard to get out of the corner they painted themselves into with the scriptual divorce rule. Too many people are miserably single or married because of it, and are taking things into there own hands to remedy it.
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mP
Tell him to put his trust in Jehovah.