Today my son told me that he can't stand this religion

by hardtobeme 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  hardtobeme

  He is 14 y/o. I have talked to him TTAT. And he understands. He doesn't wanna be a JW. He told me that he has done some research about JWs on the internet and youtube after I talked to him.

  He told me today that he wants to get out. That he has cried with friends. I told him that we have to keep it low. That his mom, my wife is still into it even thought I have talked to her. That I have family in there and that we don't wanna be shunned by them.

  He told me that he loves me a lot. I told him that we will always be father and son. I told him that I will never leave him and that we had to wait till his mom and sister wake up.

  I'm lost here. I don't know what to do. Please everyone help me...
• 

  Captain Obvious

  Well for starters... Congratulations! To him and yourself.

  The conversation you two had today is what many of our dreams are made of. Stop being stressed! Just help him understand what's at stake for your family, help him understand your plan with your family and how he can help.

  The he danger is when your wife questions him on his inactivity or outright disbelief. It will circle right back around to you sooner or later. Probably sooner. Be ready for that, could blow it all wide open but if that's what is going to happen, so be it.

  You need to prepare sir. Prepare for fights with wife and family, confrontations with friends and elders. If it were you alone you could probably pull it off but with him involved... You have no control.

  Reflect on on how fortunate you are that your son is awake! And prepare yourself for the fight of your life.

  I wish you well.
• 

  Crazyguy

  Be happy real happy one is awake and maybe he can in time help wake up the other child.
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  It sounds like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". Everyone else is asleep and have been taken over by pods. Stay awake, Stand Firm and Grow Mighty! Sorry, old habits die hard. Happy for you and your boy.
  
• 

  berrygerry

  You are so damn lucky.

  Take a deep breath - every day.

  Keep this special bond going with your son.

  Have you read any of Hassan's books?
  
• 

  hardtobeme

  Thank you guys.

  My wife tells me that we have to "help" him. That she has seen that he prefers friends outside the congregation, that those kids are bad association and that someday I will regret it if he leaves the truth. ( She doesn't know that that is my plan with the whole family).

  I have tried to talk to my daughter too. Once I started a conversation using the movie Divergent, which she likes a lot. I asked her what she thinks about killing divergents. She told me that that is totally wrong. I asked her what she would think if that was going on in real life. She told me that she would stay away from those people. I asked her: "What would you do if you found out I was a divergent?" "Would you turn me in to the leaders to kill me?" She told me that she doesn't know. I asked her: "Faction before blood?" She said: "I don't know".

  I asked her all those questions before my other kid. He told her: "you are stupid, how are you gonna turn in your own dad?". I had to stop him and told him: " be gentle with her, if she doesn't know, she doesn't know it. I will always love her no matter what". She just told me: " I love you dad, sorry".

  I know as a fact my two kids love me. I'm always there to support them in anything they wanna do, as long as I know it won't cause them harm.
• 

  berrygerry

  She told me that she doesn't know. I asked her: "Faction before blood?" She said: "I don't know". I asked her all those questions before my other kid. He told her: "you are stupid, how are you gonna turn in your own dad?"

  Do NOT cause CD. Read Hassan's book(s).

  My wife tells me that we have to "help" him. That she has seen that he prefers friends outside the congregation, that those kids are bad association and that someday I will regret it if he leaves the truth. ( She doesn't know that that is my plan with the whole family).

  My deepest regret was in preventing our children from developing friendships and social skills.

  JW's, by and large, are the most socially inept (besides Amish) that exist. Even Scientoligists and certainly, Mormons, know how to have a conversation with non-members.

  The same cannot be said for the average Dub.
  
• 

  cantleave

  Another leaves the cult - congratulations!
• 

  The Searcher

  Help?

  You're doing a great job on your own!! Just keep doing what you're doing - nice and gentle, because your kids' minds will be in a state of flux with all of this!

  They will really appreciate having you as an anchor and voice of reason in their lives, and you are very clearly not going to let them down.

  As for your wife, try and stimulate her thinking by asking viewpoint questions - "what do you think of......?" or "how do we balance this with what the scriptures say?"

  Don't say anything about her beloved Org, otherwise she'll run for the hills - and probably the Elders as well! Let her figure it out for herself.

  You're doing good!
• 

  carla

  What a difficult position you and your son at the tender age of 14 are in!

  As for the wife worried about outside friends; don't you need to prepare him to deal with all kinds of people both inside and outside the cult? (err, religion) if he doesn't learn while in the safety of your home when he gets out on his own he will be utterly lost. Well, you could try that tact.......