Can't be myself

StephaneLaliberte

I had a diner with the neighbors... they don't know I'm a JW cause I don't tell people anymore about it. Somehow, the topic of cults came up and one of my neighbors said that the JW require 10% of their income to go to the church.

I believe in factual truth, I don’t care if I don’t like the JW anymore, making up falsehood is even concerning your worst enemy is wrong. JW don’t give 10%.

So I told her that I've known some witnesses and that I had never heard of such practice. Yet, my neighbor insisted as if it was a fact. “Oh yeah, I know for a fact!”

Right then, I realized I couldn’t be myself. I felt forced to let the topic go as it could compromise my position. I can’t say: “I used to be a JW” or “I’m not a JW” for fear she would tell somebody that came to her door. I’m in a prison made of glass where my expression of my thought and even faith is control by a religion I don’t even feel like I belong to.

So why am I still a JW? The shun policy. Am I a coward or am I simply choosing my battles? Anyways… a slow fade seems like the solution for right now.

AudeSapere

Choose your battles. Your neighbor has the facts wrong. I think it's the Mormons who give 10%.

Just state the facts as you know them and let it go. I also used to use the phrase: "I [used to] have friends who were JWs" when the subject came up. Eventually, with some people, I tell them that I used to be a JW. For most people I talk to, though, it is none of their business.

You did good. Pick your battles and let it be.

Good luck with your fade.

-Aude.

zound

As a full blown 'apostate' it still annoys me when people make false claims about JWs - or they call them "Jehovah Witnesses" (which shows how little they know about them - missing the 's in case you missed it)

The truth is damning enough - no need to support exagerations.

Maybe you should have asked her where exactly she heard it for a fact.

StephaneLaliberte

@Zound

"The truth is damning enough - no need to support exagerations."

Well said!

Julia Orwell

Yeah, don't let it get to you. Say your cousin is a JW or something. That's enough to prove your point without outing yourself. Or just tell your neighbour- surely JWs won't come sniffing at your door if she tells them you were a JW?

lost

Julia good angle.

Zound

I recall having chat with two Jamaican 'old boys' who were on about the jw's, lol.

i disagreed with his untrue statement, and he put up a fine fight, lol, until I said

'' look, I know for a fact what they believe and what they teach, because I used to be one'' ... priceless, bless 'em.

They did not 'shun' me after.

zeb

.."Iknow for a fact" is on a par with "Do you know what I heard?"

gingerbread

ecan6 You are experiencing something common to all JW's. We are trained to share only a part of ourselves with others - whether workmates, neighbors, friends, family...even spouses (read about how many on this forum are having difficulty talking with their husband or wife about doubt & their struggle with congnitive dissonance). As a true 'JW', our loyalty belongs only to God and the earthly organization.

We hide behind 'masks' so we don't expose our true feelings and thoughts. It's just part of being a Jehovah's Witness.

Deconstructing your belief system requires brutal personal honesty. Being honest with others will take some time.

sosoconfused

I was chillin with my neighbors and the topic of Religion came up. One made some deragotory comments about witnesses and I simply said, "I was one for 30 plus years - they are crazy but what you just said aint true and laughed out loud.... they laughed as well and we talked about it for 10 minutes then moved on. They weren't upset at all. I wasn't either and we just let it slide." Sometimes it is best to just fess up and move on.

Phizzy

Normal conversation with normal people throws up stuff like this, and really it doesn't matter if they get their cults in a muddle does it ?

I have specialist knowledge in a few areas, and if people I'm chatting with get stuff wrong I may gently correct them if I think it is helpful to them, if not I let them waffle on.

Same thing happened to me, Mormons getting mixed up with JW's in the mind of a lady I was talking to, I just told her the difference, and added that if JW's were a nuisance calling on her they do operate a "Do Not Call" list, information she found useful !

Can't be myself

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