Argh! Fading on hold?

Gypsy Sam

I think I picked a bad time to fade so fast. Suggestions? All this happened in 48 hours.

a. Had a message today looking for our time, since November. C.O. In town next week so they are trying to clean up. Message said I could text my time to another brother, but I don't have his number....technically, my teen has zero time. I have had many bible discussions the past few months. Yet, none would be considered WT definition of "time". Thinking I'll just call back and say zero. Thank you, we are fine. Thoughts? Hs been trying to get a shepherding call in. First time in 15 years an elder has tried. I've evaded him before as I've been traveling a bit.

b. Found out my sibling and their spouse are aux pioneering this month and next. I thought they were smarter than that. Ho hum. Was planning to have enlightening discussions when I see my parents this summer, along with my sibling. Have mentioned Conti case to them. Spouse of sibling said "good, she deserves every penny". Also, advised that I can turn down a meeting with elders and just tell them I'm all set. A little surprised they are pioneering as the wife isn't okay with hubby being promoted to elder, which he's been recommended for. She says it is because of the child abuse policy and doesn't agree, nor want hubby in position to be sued or pressured to NOT call cops.

c. Worked out at the gym with a sister, who let me know her deceased parent left over the 75 fiasco. Did not know this! She is borderline inactive, getting divorced and just focused on being happy. Last time she went in service this pain in the A elderette complimented her outfit when she walked into the hall, then told her after the car group was made that she didn't feel comfortable with her dressed the way she was and proceeded to pull out literature to show her proper dress code. Meanwhile, my friend really hadn't wanted to go out in the first place. This elderette took her home to change! She has a fantastic figure and I've always seen her modestly dressed, but when you have nice curves and are young there is only so much you can cover. Point is, think she could respond to selective comments about TTATT. We are now working out together daily so suggestions???

d. Found out memorial will be held with 5 other congs (we've done this before, but not last year). Will see a lot of people I haven't seen in awhile and want to make my visit worthwhile in getting them to think. Ideas?

On a side note, I'm usually pretty calm, but we had therapy for my teen today, which is always interesting. I started reading Combatting Cult Control, which we actually had a laugh about. I met Joy Castro Tid week. (Author of The Truth book). I also reached out to a d'fd person I've dealt with in social situations not knowing they were out of the org, and we are going to talk soon. I asked if they knew about the Conti case and they did. The way the email was worded I'm thinking they know TTATT.

Going to chill now with a glass of wine. Sorry this is a long post.

Carpe Diem!

jgnat

Yeah! Chill!

First of all, focus on your teen, you, and your family. If you are going nuts you're not going to be much help to anyone else. If you have relatives and friends that are sending exit signals, a slow fade won't get in the way. They'll seek you out.

ruderedhead

I don't know if I am missing something here, but I personally cannot see any reason from your post to stop your fade. If you need to, just slow it down a bit. jgnat always has good advice. Go ahead and count the time you have had Bible discussions to turn in for now just to put them off as the co visit approaches. Nothing wrong with that. Aren't you technically supposed to be talking to people about the Bible? People count time for putting mags in laundry mats and Dr. offices. Sounds like they will probably leave you alone after that since they obviously haven't been bothering you for it. I'm suggesting that just to make things easy for you right now. The only thing I would suggest is to be VERY careful about what you say at the Memorial. Hope you are enjoying that wine. Think I'll join you!

Think About It

Yeah......keep the fade going. Go to the Memorial, and sporadic meetings if you must. Lie about your time. Just put down a number that will not raise suspicion. It doesn't matter. It is not the truth, and all they are looking for is a number, so......give them a number.

ldrnomo

Tell them your really stressed about your teen and it has really tired you out hard to get to the meetings and all that if they ask if there is anything they can do tell them to pray for you.

Tell them you have depression they hear this all the time.

moshe

Tell the truth.

LostGeneration

You are at a critical juncture. JW elders and family who are in the cult believe the own you, so to speak. This is when you step forward and basically take your life back from their control.

Is there a "memorial" you can go to outside of the regular congo? A friend of family member works well. If not, show up exactly two minutes late, and walk briskly out of there one second after they say "amen" at the end.

Leave sibling and spouse alone for now. Cultish activity is at a high right now with the meh-morial happening soon. No need to poke a sleeping bear with doctrinal questioning.

The field serve-us time is difficult. Lying and reporting a few hours may kick the can down the road a bit. If you are ready to cut ties forever, simply ignore their request. They will put in a zero for you and harass you later.

GOOD LUCK!

LouBelle

A) lie about the time - who cares....only the elders get upity about it.

b) keep bringing up the child abuse stuff with your sister in law and that may open up other leads. They might be pressurised into pioneerying

c)ridiculous - absolutley ridiculous - but hey I got spoken to about worldly wild hair - yes I would slowly broach stuff with her, agree with her about how stupid it was for the sister to actually take her home/how judgemental etc.

d)eish - it's always difficult trying to talk to people who aren't asking questions.

All the best.

Mum

I agree that there is no need to split hairs about reporting time. You had Bible discussions with people, and that counts if you're a JW.

You're stressing yourself. Whatever pressure outsiders put on you does not have to be accepted by you. Take charge.

Be cautious about what you say to others. This is not the time to raise any red flags. Each person has to find TTATT in their own way. You are not responsible for them.

Jam today! (My version of "carpe diem")

Gypsy Sam

Thank you, everyone. It was an out of sorts type of day yesterday. I ended up texting the time or lack thereof to an elder, who notified me I wasn't following procedure. Omg. I gave him a smart answer back and he never answered.

Our memorial will be with 5 other congregations, 4 of which I was a part of at some point in the past 15 years. Plus, it is the C.O. next week, during the memorial so I guess I got a bit panicked. The reality of walking away hit home, I guess. No worries. All good now.

Carpe Diem!

Argh! Fading on hold?

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