When will you NOT go anymore ?

by Phizzy 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • sir82
    sir82
    I need to return my elders book

    Why?

    They gave it to you, it's your property.

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    When I am ready to move away from friends and family (maybe a year). Why have a confrontation that I can avoid?

  • leaving_quietly
    leaving_quietly

    I've been trying to figure out how to get out quietly, but cannot. I may have to one day just walk away completely. Cold turkey. It will have to be combined with leaving a failed marriage. That's the only way out for me, I'm afraid.

  • goodsoul
    goodsoul

    --Why?

    They gave it to you, it's your property.

    Well, even in book is stated, that it is a property of congregation and should be returned once someone is dead or stopped to serve as an elder. I wrote my resignation letter, and they want to have a book. I don't mind, since I have it in pdf.

  • lilbluekitty
    lilbluekitty

    Wait, they play music during the baptisms now???

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Mid-2009, three-and-a-half years after being introduced to the unabridged "Good News".


    (Why does the "true religion" secretly blind its followers to the "Good News" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    Good thread Phizzy - of course there is never a "right time" to drop the meetings. Unless you are a new convert with no friends and no family to lose, there is going to be some pain when you leave.

    From checking in on the board almost daily for almost five years now, it seems that those who burn the bridge and don't look back move on with life. THat takes some big balls of steel, and its almost impossible if you are married to a JW and want to keep that marriage.

    But even if you are married, I would say moving on sooner rather than later is better for your mental health and being able to live the rest of your life. Do you really want to be married to a crazed JW for the rest of your years if you believe the WT is utter bullshit?

    Setting firm timelines is a good way to go. Say you will quit serve-us in three months, mid-week meetings in six months, and everything in a year (or adjust the times to something sooner if you are going insane). Having a firm and hard out by date will keep you from lingering in this stupid cult for a decade when you could be living your damn life.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    I knew TTATT for 3 years before I left physically. It was still a horrendous process and there's never a 'right time'. The repercussions were as serious as it gets and to be honest the anguish of attending meetings before knowing what I knew was nothing compared to the six months following our exit.

    I would never urge someone to leave before they are as prepared as they can be for the fallout. You have to do what's right for your circumstances.

  • Captain Obvious
    Captain Obvious

    I think Mickey Mouse's post spells out why it takes some of us longer than others. The fallout can be huge, and if there is a chance of bringing out at least one loved one it is worth it to stay in as long as needed. Personally I am already playing catch up with my wife for some mistakes I've made in the past year... And if there's any hope of waking her up my quitting meetings altogether would likely squash that chance. Plus, then it's public. It will invoke the cult personality of every one of your close friends and family whenever they think of you... Not exactly ideal conditions for waking people up.

    We can do so much more damage to the WT from the inside. Personally I go to about 1-2 meetings a month. I work shift work, so people just assume I'm working.

    I think we'll all know when the time is right.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    Thanks for your answers everyone, and I do sympathise with any who still have to go for whatever reason, it must be so hard.

    It was hard for me when I first began to find TTATT, I used the times I went to slip in some comments that may have sown a bit more dissonance.

    As a number have pointed out, there never is, or will be, a right time" in the fullest sense, just a time when it is right for you, when you are ready, and equipped, to handle whatever fallout there may be, and there will be some repercussions, maybe not as bad as you feared I hope !

    Good luck to all, I just hope nobody is languishing "in" the WT in the vain hope of helping some out, it can be achieved, but don't waste too much of your life in what is a vain hope, some will never be helped, some will never wake up, even though we are close to them and we love them.

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