Discipline or child abuse? Still going on in the hall?

by Pickler 12 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • kjg132
    kjg132

    Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I think it depends on where you go. I have only been out for two years and saw this still going on when I left. Not so much when we would go to other parts of the country to visit. I watched a little boy who had the best smile ever become so abused that his smile vanished. Another sister was in the bathroom crying one day because she had heard the mother come in and beat him for wearing the wrong socks. I am not saying that this abuse would not have occured outside the hall, it probably would have, but being at the meetings definately puts demand on children to behave like adults. I feel ashamed that I did not go to the proper authorities with that particular person. I would still call social services to this day if I could only remember her name.I called an elder( i told him I would have called the police if we weren't at the KH when it happened) who told me I had to address the mom myself and long after that spoke to another elder who I do believe spoke to the mother but who knows? I cringe now to think of all the children expected to keep this schedule and be well behaved. The hall I went to when I was a kid had all kinds of paddles and such in the back. Thankfully my parents were not very physical with me, they were new witnesses when I was born and prior to being witnesses did not believe in spanking (my mom even wrote a college paper on it) But by the time my little brother came along they had been indoctrinated enough to be quite physical with him. Another sister from my recent hall had told me that she had to tell her husband to stop using belts on their boys because she felt it was too much, another one I saw leave a mark through a diaper with a spoon on her son (this was in her home, not the hall). Anyway when we were in we were never real physical with our kids, I wanted them to like the hall, but even had an elder apologize to me for talking about our kids behind our back...we know people disapproved and what I can't get over is we were still way too hard on them, expecting so much out of just babies..This is one issue I am most relieved about. It is so hard to try to be a good parent and be fair and balanced away from all of it but while in there was this pressure to make them conform to a programming effort that is for adults, it just left so much room for them to not live up to it, I remember being so frustrated with them for not behaving and of course there are reasons now that I become frustrated with my kids but definately less opportunity for me to demand something of them they are not capable of doing. My older brother who is still an elder has shown that there is some balance to it now when I told him about what I was witnessing he told me about a talk he gives where he talks about the "rod" in that scripture being the same "rod" that a sheperd uses when herding sheep and the point in the talk brings out that shepards Never beat their sheep, that they are known for being gentle. This makes me feel that the mentality has likely shifted for the better in the last 20 years or so but its not better for everyone everywhere.

  • kjg132
    kjg132

    OH and my BF before leaving who is younger than me told me she completely believes in spanking and pinching them to be quiet or as dicipline and she is from the part of the country I think is not as harsh anymore

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    "In a strange way parents got a lot of social approval for harshly disciplining their children. In the meetings discipline was equated with love."

    Lord isn't that the truth. It is just like the disfellowshipping doctrine. The more harsh you are.....the more "love" you are showing

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