Ahhh, I need serious help.

by apostate man 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  rhett

  Though I've not had to deal with this problem personally I've seen it up close and personal because my sister's first husband is a drunk.
  I agree with the people who say use tough love. It doesn't sound like your wife wants to get help for her problem (which she does have) so there's nothing you can do to stop it. It doesn't matter why she drinks too much, it only matters that she does. Drunks will always chose their drinks over the people who love them. For the sake of your kids, get out of there as soon as you can. If your wife can admit she has a problem and will sincerely try to get over it then by all means stick with her but from the way you've made it sound that's probally not the case. Call me as cold hearted as you want to but get rid of her now before you get dragged down even further. Whatever you do, DO NOT buy a house with this person. I can promise you that will end bad.
  I really am sorry if I seem like a jerk here but I swear I'm just trying to do what's best for you. I've seen this in real life and up way to close. Lose her before you lose yourself. I know with love you're supposed to be willing to do that but what's the point if you're not going to save her? Besides, your kids need at least one sane parent so it might as well be you.

  Back down the bullies to the back of the bus
  Its time for them to be scared of us
• 

  apostate man

  Well, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, again. I was hopeing that maybe, just maybe that she had forgotten about that alcohol that I had found. I was hopeing to see it still there today. First thing this morning I got up and checked. The rest was gone. She called me from work and I asked her. She said she bought it two days ago.

  I am more dissapointed than anything. What a waste. The whole thing has me in turmoil. As soon as I can I will be contacting a lawer.

  Thanks again, everyone, for your comments.
• 

  SpannerintheWorks

  Plymkrzy,

  Ah ha! I see you are a Pink Floyd fan too!

  SpannerintheWorks.
• 

  SpannerintheWorks

  BTW, I've prodably spelt your posting name wrong, Plmkrsy!
• 

  scootergirl

  Go to Alanon.

  Although I am not a newcomer to Alanon anymore but not yet a lifer, the last 5 years attending Alanon and learning how to take care of myself, understanding the 12 steps, what I have control over and what I don't have saved my life.

  Go to Alanon........TONIGHT.
• 

  scootergirl

  I remember my very first Alanon meeting. I was in a relationship that was terrible. I thought that I would go, talk all about what the drinker was doing in my life and someone would stand up and tell me to "leave the son-of-a-bitch". I cried, talked, cried some more and this old woman took me by the hand. Said that they all understood. Same story, different actors. Then she suggested that "I decide NOT to make a decision today".....and that "I can live with something for 24 hours which would appaul me to live w/for a lifetime." The most suprising thing that I learned is that I had become just as "sick" as my alcoholic partner! My behavior was as distorted and irrational. I was constantly trying to control what he was doing, thinking and drinking. I literally was banging my head against a brick wall! Alcoholism effects the whole family.........everyone needs help learning how to live w/this disease.

  Living w/an alcoholic is difficult. And let me say, even if your wife gets dry and sober, she is still an alcoholic. Can take away the alcohol, but the "ism" is still there. You need to be w/people who can relate, can support, and can listen to you. No one will (or shouldn't) tell you what you are to do. No one will judge. What you are going to learn going to Alanon is the tools to live a healthy, happy life. Nothing is going to happen over night.

  My email is open for anyone that wants to talk to me about my experiences w/Alanon. It has been a literal life savior to me.

  Edited by - scootergirl on 17 September 2002 15:14:18
• 

  Yerusalyim

  I'm a drunk with almost nine years sobriety A-man, GO TO ALANON!

  Nemisis,

  I couldn't disagree with you more, Alcoholics don't have any other problems than what are common to human beings, the problem, in most cases, is a chemical reaction in the brain that makes the alcoholic unable to control how much is drank after the first drink, and creates the desire for the first drink. The solution, GET RID OF THE ALCHOHOL, then CHANGE THE OUTLOOK!