A CRACKERJACK religion: the Watchtower Society

by Terry 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • mamochan13
    mamochan13

    I always thought Crackerjacks tasted nasty. I only wanted the prize. hmmm..

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    Tater-T, we all know what happened to the monkey who ate the date in Raiders of the Lost Ark... he died.

  • Terry
    Terry

    The Mormon Church is very proud of its gimmicks. The Twelve Apostles run the leadership. The Book of Mormon is a flawless modern day revelation.

    The JW's have the FDS which is useless to them because only the GB get to vote on whether what Jehovah tells them is "true" or not.

    Nobody in their right mind will ever vote for an actual DATE ever again.

    They've lost the the essential ingredient in pulling people in off the street and gluing their butt in the folding chair at the Kingdom Hall.

    Say what you will--it is the only driving motor for genuine enthusiasm.

    Riffing on the "ain't it bad" news of the day Signs of the End gets very tiresome.

  • designs
    designs

    The Cold War was so great, people had bomb shelters in their back yards, you could talk Armageddon and every one shook their heads in the affirmative.

  • kurtbethel
    kurtbethel

    There is no longer a certain prize in the Watchtower treat, merely a PROSPECT of a prize.

    Meanwhile, their brand is laced with rat poison in every box.

    watchtower jehovah's witnesses literature is like cracker jacks without a prize and full of rat poison

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    yea this really bit them in the ass. Without an urgency, people just slack off. And why not? Who wants to be "on call" at all times. The one thing people should be able to di is enjoy themselves to some degree. Not getting sold on the idea that service is a family day.

  • Tater-T
    Tater-T

    @ mr freeze... LOL!!

    Yes I remember the Talk in 1984 thats was a special outline by the GB.. to be given by the PO... and the Hype up to that talk!!

    Then at some point after a long list of terrible things in the world.... wait for it............................The Governing Body .....

    can't see this 'system of things' ..... lasting past the 20th century... That means there is barely 15 years left...

    Gasp's we better get out service..

    So how do they deal with this NOw!!

    What's the new date... time frame.. any, one any, one.....

    ... yes it's a CRACKERJACK RELIGION... the prize is a piece a CRAP

  • Terry
    Terry

    Jehovah's Witnesses are trapped in a perpetual limbo-of-the-sneeze: right between the AHHHHH and the CHOOOOOO!

    All the publications are the "AHHHHHHHH" and Armageddon is the "CHOOOOO!"

  • kepler
    kepler

    Speaking of the FDS...

    Took a multiple choice employment test today and the vocabulary part just happened to have the word "DISCRETE" as a test question.

    There were four alternatives and "WISE" was not among them. The answer was "CAUTIOUS".

    It's the least to say that I had a feeling already:

    DISCRETE and FOOLISH VIRGINS or WISE and FOOLISH BRIDESMAIDS? WISE and FAITHFUL SERVANT or FAITHFUL and DISCRETE SLAVE?

    A DISCRETE SLAVE might be CAUTIOUS about suggesting another crackerjack prize date for the end in the box.

    A WISE SERVANT wouldn't have suggested it in the first place. That would be attempting to paint the master into a corner.

    Not WISE, FAITHFUL or even DISCRETE but MANIPULATIVE.

    Of course, I have always been fascinated by Orwellian equivalences, perhaps being arranged into syllogisms...

    WAR is PEACE

    IGNORANCE is STRENGTH

    FREEDOM is SLAVERY (!!!!) ...

    PUBLISHING is FAITH...

    FAITHFUL DISCRETE SLAVE is GOVERNING BOARD

    TOTAL THEOCRACY is PARADISE EARTH

    Long live this, that or the overlapping generation!

    ...Got anything else in this box?

  • andys
    andys

    And then along came the invention of the internet:)

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