I got baptized a while back and I realized that I want out of the organization. For some reason the doubts came lurking back again. I know this religion is messed up because a person should not be having creeping doubts surface up like this. I have not posted or logged on to this site in a very long time. I went back and looked at some old posts of mine and realized I am in the same mental state as I was years ago. Anyway the point of this post is that I am a little concerned with what to do with myself. I know for sure I'm planning on leaving the organization. But the only problem is I am becoming attracted to this guy who is considered to be a "worldly" lol. I really want this relationship to work we both want to be in a serious relationship with each other. I am confused as should I explain to him what I am going through? I don't want to get hurt and I don't want him to get hurt either. I am just so confused on what to do. Has anyone been in a situation similiar to this? How did you deal with it? Did your partner understand or just decide this was too much to handle?
Should i tell him what is really going on with me? I care about him so much.
by make yourself 17 Replies latest social relationships
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King Solomon
Your JW history (and present!) seems to be a pretty big part of who you are and how you got here, so it'll come out eventually? How long have you known the guy? If you're developing a relationship, you'll probably want to disclose as the relationship develops, as most people are in relationships to feel closer to others, not to keep secrets. Just be careful, as some JWs have not developed a strong self of themselves (or accepted lowered boundaries for themselves), so don't feel a need to disclose too fast, OR to be afraid to share.
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rip van winkle
Yes, I would agree with King Sol. He's very smart when it comes to matters of the heart and keeping secrets.
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jgnat
Wow, two big things, high on the stress index, going on in your life. I'd take care of one before taking on the other. How about working on the exit first? Figure out how you got sucked in first of all, and how to pay better attention to those gut feelings of yours.
With a better sense of self, you are in a better place to handle a new relationship.
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cobaltcupcake
You said the guy is considered to be "a worldly." Does that mean he's not associated with JWs or that he's considered weak?
If he's "weak" he may agree with your viewpoint and leave with you. If he's working toward baptism and he has feelings for you, being honest with him is the best course. It'll come out sooner or later.
http://scottleblog.wordpress.com
The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses
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flipper
MAKE YOURSELF- If you really like the guy that you're getting to know, be honest with him. Tell him what you've been involved with but also tell him you are in the process of exiting the Witnesses and it won't be affecting your relationship with him. Tell him you disagree with the WT society's views and it will be a past thing in your life.
I explained it this way to mrs. Flipper my wife now , when we were dating in 2006 I had stopped attending meetings in 2003 , and she totally understood my reasons for exiting the Witnesses and has been very supportive to me on this JWN ex-JW board. Even though she's never been a JW , she is very supportive. So yeah, go for it with a relationship with the guy if you think it has great possibilities ! Don't live your life in fear of the JW cult. Be happy ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Ding
Be open with him.
If you can't share stuff like that with him, do you really want a long-term relationship with him?
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krejames
Best to be honest and tell him as much as he needs to know to understand your behaviour and emotions. Your leaving the org is going to affect you for a while yet. He needs to know a little bit about what you're going through as you'll need his support if he can give it. If he can't give you any support then you're best without him for now as it will just be an additional emotional pressure. I'm very lucky I am going through the "leaving" journey with a very supportive and understanding boyfriend. He has never once criticised the JWs and even defends them when I am critical. He also doesn't judge me for the fact that I am still going to the meetings while in a relationship that's fairly and squarly against JW beliefs. This has helped me to see things in a balanced way - also from his perspective he knows I could never blame him for my leaving the org because I know my leaving is because of my beliefs and my opinions alone. I really hope all goes well for you.
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kimbo
get out now
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make yourself
Well no he is not associated with the Jw in any way,shape,or form. I'm planning on hanging out with him within the next few days. He already knows im a JW, I just don't want to bring out the big news too soon about me wanting to leave and all and it overwhelms him.