Well.....I am now officially on the precipice of divorce. It started last Tuesday night. My wife brings the kids home at 10:00 pm after the meeting....then dinner....then ice cream. I had a problem with it. You see....my oldest is in kindergarten. She gets up at 6:30 and she needs a lot of sleep. She is always in bed by 7:30pm and out like a light by 7:45. I read bedtime stories and have "daddy" time with my kids every night at bed time. BUT....if I dare go past 7:30.....I get nagged by my wife who accuses me of being selfish by not letting the children get the sleep they need.
So here we are.....and 3 out of 4 Tuesdays since my daughter started school....my wife has kept them out past 9:30. I got upset and told her that it isn't fair that every other night of the week, she freaks out on me if I break the bed time rule.....yet it is perfectly ok for her to break it on every tuesday. Of course her response is "the kids like going out afterwards" and "it is only one night per week". My response was that it doesn't matter. If it is ok with her that her children be out way late one time per week......then the loving thing to do would be to pick a day when we can be together as a family. She then accused me of attacking her religion and said that all would be well if I would just go with them to the meeting on tuesday night......therefore I am the one to blame. I will spare you the rest of the details but it got uglier.
Now comes the weekend. My youngest (3) said multiple times during the 2 day weekend....and I quote verbatim "listen, obey and be blessed". Which tells me she is being pounded with that horrific video that came out at the DC.
Then came the final blow. My 5 year old asked my wife in front of me "Mama.....does daddy serve Satan?" I looked at my wife and said "well.....why don't you answer her?" She remained silent. Then at night....my 5 year old said "I just don't understand.....why to you want to be friends with Satan?"
I was livid......but I managed to keep it relatively under control. (not killing my wife is considered success right now). I told her that I have a proposal. She is well aware that I think the meetings are indoctrinational mind control sessions that teach our children how to NOT think. I do not want them to go to any meetings. Yet, I realize that I do not have a monopoly on what they are and are not exposed to. So I cannot justifiably prevent them from going. Conversely, she does not have a monopoly either. And she cannot justifiably insist that they must go to each meeting. So I proposed that they will go to half of the meetings with her.....and the other half....they will spend with me at home. And if she doesn't like that suggestion then we will be exploring other living arrangements.
Worse yet, I started off the conversation by telling her that I've made my first doctor's appointment in 4 years. I explained that given the situation we are in.....I am at the point of a breakdown. I am not a person that advocates the use of medication for things that we can control with a little effort. But I also realized that I am extremely depressed. I used to work out, cycle, run, take martial arts class. Now I do none of that. I lack the desire. I used to truly enjoy my work. Now I drag myself to the office. I used to be practically addicted to football. On Sunday I didn't even turn on a game. I simply lack the desire to do anything that I once enjoyed....and it is hard for me to put on a happy face around my kids. After telling her all of this.....she stared back at me coldly and said "is that it?"
And that's when I saw the absolute/complete cult personality. She wasn't the slightest bit worried about me. I have dared to question the society.....which, I see, has invoked an automatic stone cold response from her. It is amazing how true/genuine love and affection and concern can be flipped like a light switch.