Post quotes from bible you are skeptical of

by ashitaka 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Thought this might be interesting to both religous and non-religous types.

    Perhaps leaving out revalation might be a good idea.....you know why, but if you've got one from there, go right ahead and post it.

    Mine is a popular one:

    Isaiah 2:4, Revised Standard Version

    "He shall judge between the nations, and shall decide for many peoples; and they shall beat their swords into plowshears, and spear into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore."

    As far as I'm concerned, in any context you put this (historical, prophetical), stupid mankind will always war, even IF great fireballs come down from heaven and swallow all of us 'evil sinners' up. They'll have butterknives in the new world, paradise, etc., correct? Can't be used for bad? People won't snap? Then I think this scripture is moot, but a nice dream anyway.

    Ok.....what's your scripture.

    ashi

  • GermanXJW
    GermanXJW

    "But as one was felling a beam, the axe head fell into the water: and he cried, and said, Alas, master! for it was borrowed. And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he shewed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast [it] in thither; and the iron did swim. Therefore said he, Take [it] up to thee. And he put out his hand, and took it." (2 Kings 6:5-7, KJV)

    I cannot believe God's prophet was cruising around just to use his supernatural power to find a borrowed axe that got lost.

  • JT
    JT

    this is my favorite to show that the bible was INDEED written by a man for men.

    since historically more men have cheated on thier wives than women on thier husbands due to more opportunity,

    i mean if you got 9 kids at home you will not have a lot o time to be "Gapping ones legs"

    but as a man who is traveling and at war with other nations and taking the women as capitives you got lots of chances to get some extra "Coochie" on the side.

    yet there is NO PROCEDURE TO TEST A MANS DICK to see if he has beeb "Poking" it in any coochie other than his wife's coochie.

    only a man could come up with such a goofy procedure and forget to leave out a method where by the wife could take the man to the priest and have him tested like he can have her tested

    you got to love the bible:

    ck out the last words the woman must scream out AMEN AMEN
    DID YOU NOTICE THE WORDS "MEN" IN THERE

    SMILE

    *** Rbi8 Numbers 5:19-22 ***
    19 “‘And the priest must make her swear, and he must say to the woman: “If no man has lain down with you and if while under your husband you have not turned aside in any uncleanness, be free of the effect of this bitter water that brings a curse. 20 But you, in case you have turned aside while under your husband and in case you have defiled yourself and some man has put in you his seminal emission, besides your husband,—” 21 The priest must now make the woman swear with an oath involving cursing, and the priest must say to the woman: “May Jehovah set you for a cursing and an oath in the midst of your people by Jehovah’s letting your thigh fall away, and your belly swell. 22 And this water that brings a curse must enter into your intestines to cause your belly to swell and the thigh to fall away.” To this the woman must say: “Amen! Amen!”

  • Beans
    Beans

    There are so many I can`t choose!
    http://www.Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/

    Ok here`s a few:

    1) The Bible makes no references to oral sex. That's not to say the
    > Bible has nothing to say about the matter! Far from it! Let's examine
    > what the Bible does say about sex, and what our attitudes toward sex
    > should be if we would like to be considered 'friends' of God, as
    > Abraham was. (2 Chronicles 20:7)
    >
    > (2) Abraham married his half-sister, Sarah. (Genesis 20:12) Although
    > we today hold incest to be a grave crime against the victim, the Bible

    > makes it clear that incest is a joyous activity, to be indulged in
    > with liquor, as Lot did with his two daughters. (Genesis 19:30-38). In

    > this modern society, we may find ourselves shrinking back from such an

    > idea. Indeed, the world generally holds an opinion contrary to that of

    > God's word the Bible, but should we really let that sway our opinion?
    > The apostle Peter makes it clear that Lot's night of drunken incest
    > had no ill effect upon his standing with God, calling Lot "righteous."

    > (2 Peter 2:7,8)
    >
    > (3) Then too, is the example of King Solomon. King Solomon was favored

    > with 'wisdom and riches and glory' more than any other man before him
    > or since. (1 Kings 3:10-13) Should we not heed the fine example of
    > someone so favored by God in our own lives? King Solomon had over 700
    > wives - many of whom he no doubt had sex with. But it is interesting
    > to note that the Bible also says Solomon had 300 concubines. Webster's

    > dictionary gives us a better idea of what a concubine is: concubine
    > \Con"cu*bine\, n. [F., fr. L. concubina; to lie down, to lie
    > together.] 1. A woman who cohabits with a man without being his wife;
    > a paramour. Clearly, the Bible shows that it is fine for us to take
    > care of all our many wives, but that if we need a little sexual
    > variety on the side, concubines are a welcome provision of our loving
    > creator, Jehovah God.
    >
    > (4) Although the Bible does not mention oral sex, there are certain
    > Biblical guidelines that any true Christian would want to consider,
    > since the Bible is 'inspired and beneficial for teaching.' (2 Timothy
    > 3:16) The Bible makes it clear that to engage in sex of any sort with
    > a prostitute is a waste of good money. (Proverbs 29:3, NIV) It also
    > shows our fine brothers among us that they must never ejaculate onto
    > the ground, for fear that God may strike them dead. (Genesis 38:9,10).

    > Clearly then, if we are going to engage in oral sex, we would want to
    > do it only with a member of our immediate family, or with a concubine,

    > and only if they are willing to swallow.
    >
    > Questions: (1) Does the Bible have nothing to say about sex? (2a) What

    > does the Bible say about having sex with two women at the same time?
    > (2b) What if those two women are your daughters? (3a) How many
    > orifices did King Solomon have at his disposal? (3b) What is the
    > Bible's view about keeping concubines? (4) What Biblical advice should

    > we follow if we want to have oral sex?
    >

    Beans

  • chester
    chester

    JT,
    YOU are being "Bad" this morning.
    (smile)

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    HAHAHA, those are some good ones. I'm partial to putting the entire book of Revelation in here, but that may cause unnecessary debate.

    I notice that the Old testament is full of tripe. There's some real classic head-scratchers in there.

    German, yours was great.

    JT, doesn't that make all of the OT rituals seems more like witchdoctoring than anything else.

    Beans, good ones.

    ashi

  • sadiejive
  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Re German's post.

    all miracles are surely designed to make a point. ie.that natural laws can be changed on occasion to prove that the miracle worker has God's spirit. It does not really matter whether the action seems trivial to us 3000 years later. It would have impressed his audience and prepared them to listen to what he had to say.

    The same could be said of Jesus turning water into wine at Cana, but it made the people take notice of him so perhaps there was a point to it .

  • Rummy1
    Rummy1

    Col 3:5 .....man everytime that scripture was read I went bright red at meetings.Always tried to be ill or on car park duty if there was gonna be a talk about masturbation or oral sex hehheh!I KNOW I'm not the only one...

  • JT
    JT

    chester

    your photo shows you to be a black man of style

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