ROFLMAO!!!! Oh Hahahahahahah!!
I'm going to send this to my loyal dub friend. Too funny! Thanks Scully.
wt 8/15/03: Easing Nature - Is it for Christians?
by Scully 45 Replies latest jw friends
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julien
A+ Great work!
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belbab
Scully, I just hate to come up with an opposing apostate opinion to your views.
Did you know that Martin Luther got enlightenment in the public privy in the castle at Wartburg or wherever. I think he came to realize that God really does ease nature. I know this is an abominable subject matter and not appropriate in mixed company, but the truth must be heard.Now I don’t know if you realize, that Jerusalem, the city of God, had a gate called the dung gate and that opened up to the Valley of Hinnom and we know that it became known in later times as Gehenna. Now whenever God chooses to ease nature, it is eased out through that gate. At other times it seems he lets go wherever it happens. For example: Jeremiah 25:33 says: "Those slain by the LORD on that day will be from one end of the earth to the other. They will not be lamented, gathered or buried; they will be like dung on the face of the ground.
Now we know today that God’s holy people must ease nature as their heavenly father does and eliminate all opposers from within their ranks , so I feel that some have the intention, like it says in the Bible, that dwelling places of the wicked are made into public privies. I feel that the JW Discussion board is fast becoming such a place. Too many are using it as a dumping ground to drop their garbage and make it appear to be a place of evil and a lurking place for worms, bats and lizards etc. with a few demons thrown in for good measure.
Well we’ll just have to realize the clumps of green grass growing in the cow pasture, are last years nature easements that the cows are still reluctant to eat.
I regret, Sister Scully, that I feel I must set matters straight regarding this delicate matter of heavenly easements.
with the warmest of Christian love,
belbab
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Mutz
Too bloody funny :)
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Scully
Dear Brother Belbab:
Thank you for your concerns about this very important matter for true Christians. We believe the Watchtower article to which you refer is "food at the proper time" for God's people.
We appreciate your research into the matter of easing nature and dung, and wish to remind you that Jehovah's holy spirit is directing his people at this time of the end, and that you are heading on the path of apostasy in being a shit-disturber in the real sense of the word.
We urge you to pray on these matters and consult with elders in your congregation for upbuilding spiritual conversation on this matter. We have forwarded your letter to Brother Stanch, the Presiding Overseer of your congregation, who, along with other spiritually qualified elders, will help you readjust your thinking.
In the meantime, please accept our gift of a box of Sheriff Mashed Potato flakes with our blessing.
Your Brothers,
The CHristian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses -
biblexaminer
I did some research on this very same topic a few years ago. I saved my research. I found in the w49 1/15 p.7 this gem...
TO EASE OR NOT TO EASE
...and it has been found that among prison inmates, a full 100 percent engage in this act. As well, an anonymous survey of 144000 catholic priests and nuns was quite revealing. It showed that most of these ones also regularily engaged in this practice. So the question for true Christians is this, "Would I want to be counted in among those who abviously merit God's displeasure?" Certainly not! So let it be the goal of every true Christian to fully refrain from this practice.Remember what 1 Corinthians 6:13 says,
13 Foods for the belly, and the belly for foods; but God will bring both it and them to nothing. Now the body is not for [easing nature], but for the Lord; and the Lord is for the body.Some may ask the question "What if I see another true Christian secretly engaging in this "unclean", unclean of course by it's very nature. Surely every true Christian would be willing to run to the elders immediatly with the "dirt" on their brother's dirt.
More recently,
*** g87 9/8 19-20 How Serious Is Masturbation? ***
Since easing nature is not directly condemned in the Bible, does this mean it is harmless? Absolutely not! Even those not especially concerned with God’s viewpoint feel uneasy about the practice. For instance, Dr. Aaron Hass in his survey of the bodily functions of 625 teenagers reported: “The majority of adolescents who eased nature reported feeling guilty, ashamed, dirty, stupid, embarrassed, or abnormal.” Surely, easing nature is an unclean habit. But since “uncleanness,” according to the Bible, is a term that allows for a wide range of degree of seriousness, easing nature is not to be classed with such serious sins as fornication or other types of gross bodily immorality.—Ephesians 4:19.
However, God realizes that observing the Bible’s prohibitions against gross bodily immorality is not easy. He, therefore, gives advice on how to avoid bodily immorality. He ‘teaches you to benefit yourself.’ (Isaiah 48:17) The principles of his Word indicate that you “benefit yourself” by strongly resisting this unclean habit, primarily because it smells bad . . . -
nyteIecom1
Scully,
Please - do you want to be one with Nature?Wanna be my fellow naturist?
We can be like owls
What a hoot you are!!!!
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Scully
nytelecom1 writes:
Scully,
Please - do you want to be one with Nature?Wanna be my fellow naturist?
Dear Jehovah,
I repent before you humbly for my parody. Thank you for sending the evil one, nytelecom1, to shock me to my senses. Please forgive my insolence.
Love, Scully
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Scully
I repent before you humbly for my parody. Thank you for sending the evil one, nytelecom1, to shock me to my senses. Please forgive my insolence.
I WAS ONLY KIDDING!!!
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Scully
I'd like to make a second dedication of this parody to YoYoMaMa, who writes:
I don't have to taste shit to know it's shit.
at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=22964&page=2&site=3
Love, Scully